Getting the F%ck back out there.

We've all been there, after a relationship ends and we've taken some time to heal. We decide that it's probably time to get back out there....Maybe. It's a scary situation! Putting yourself out there again after being treated like shit. Because we have to figure out what it is that we want from our next relationship. Sure we don't want someone like what we had, but what do we want? I want something very specific and I'm not sure I'll find it. I want to be with someone whose my best friend. I want to belt out music in the car, give them weirdo gifts we joked about months ago, I want to have inside jokes with them. I want to pull up to their house with a car full of snacks and rock music and surprise them with a day at the beach. But most importantly I need to feel safe with that person. If you've read any of my other pieces you'll know I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years. So naturally I'm going to need to feel safe with someone and be able to trust them. This is hard for me. Especially in this hookup culture we seem to be living in. Nobody wants to do any of that special stuff anymore. All they want to do is f%ck and leave. That's not a relationship. I want to actually have a relationship with someone. I want to wake up feeling safe and with a phone full of good morning messages if we're not together. Of course I'd have boundaries like no talking or hanging out with the opposite gender alone. I don't think that's unfair. I think not settling until you find that right person is the best thing you can do. Sure nobodies perfect, but we can't just settle with the first person that's nice to us. Maybe they aren't right for us. Just because someones good to you, doesn't necessarily mean there good for you. That's something I feel like people don't really understand. And frankly it took me a while to understand as well. You need to find someone whose both. I do say quite often that I'm never dating again. And while that may be true! I do want to point out that I've done some reflecting and came to the conclusion that IF someone came along and they fit all of my boundaries and standards, MAYBE I would give them a chance. But with that being said, it may never happen. I may never find someone. I may in fact be single forever and that's not a bad thing. I can still achieve all my dreams without someone in my life. I'd require a lot of patience and reassurance and care. I don't think that's something a lot of people would necessarily be equiped to do. Maybe I need to do some more healing before I get back out there. There is really no rush! We have our whole lives to find someone if that's in the cards for us! We don't need to have someone in our lives to be happy. You need to complete yourself, don't expect someone to complete you! That's unrealistic. Sure you want someone to compliment you but expecting them to complete you is too much. Being upfront with what you want and what you're willing to accept and not willing to accept is something we all need to do. Don't settle for anything less then you deserve. Remember this one thing that we all need to know and it's fairly simple: Never think that almost is good enough for you.