From Self Doubt to Self Love: The 4 Steps That Got Me There

I laid in bed with the salty tears pouring out of my broken heart. It wasn't that anything was wrong, it just felt like a classic romantic tragedy: me being head over heels for someone who didn’t reciprocate those feelings - no matter how much love and care they were given. To make matters worse I had recently gone through an emergency hysterectomy so having kids biologically would never be possible (even though adoption is an amazing option). Compassion seemed entirely absent when he started going after another girl while I recovered from surgery, which made everything feel even more heartbreaking than ever before. But once the dust settled something inside switched on…On that day, after 39 years of successes and failures, I knew it was time for a change. A plan began to form in my head as I sat up in bed – one which would end an intergenerational curse with four simple steps. This helped start me on the path to self-love and pursuing my lifelong passion: travel design tailored specifically toward romance and honeymoons! What could be better? It’s like these 4 steps opened the door so that now, everyone can experience love through what they do best. I am here to share them with you:

1. Find what works for you

Self-love is personal - what works for one may not be the same for another. So when I found myself feeling down, just trying to get through my day, I decided to search within and find something that resonated with me. Sitting in a dimly lit room at 5am, candle burning bright as if it were guiding me home; I let go of all feelings of worthlessness and despair & used those 20 precious minutes being present within my own thoughts. Embracing an early morning ritual didn't feel like the start of 'slaying' anything back then... but little did I know it was actually preparing me to take on each new day! It was a drowning sea of thoughts and ideas in my head, only to be released into the darkness. But I picked myself up first - journaling had been something that always brought me back after so much time away from it, giving words to feelings within me which hitherto remained unseen or invisible until they found an outlet through sentences on paper. Then came this book full of what felt like life-saving spiritual advice; just exactly when I needed solace during turbulent times. Each day slowly opened doors for self discovery as though being led by an inner knowingness meant especially for me…

2.Be open to change

When we experience growth and transformation, loving ourselves can often become a challenge. We may feel like love for others is too risky given our past experiences; however it's key to remember that the first stop on this journey of self-love must begin with us! Unconditionally. That looks different as you evolve - but opening your heart up to yourself will always be at its core: understanding one’s own worth and value beyond any “should haves" or "what ifs". I was hesitant to face the reality of needing change, but it soon became so much more than that. My hysterectomy unveiled a new me – an evolving woman with different dreams and wishes in life. Change can certainly be intimidating at first, but I have come to see its transformative beauty as something truly great.

3.Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

In order to truly connect with your spirituality and practice self-love, you must be willing to be vulnerable. This means being open and honest with yourself, even if it’s difficult. It also means being accepting of yourself, flaws and all. Knowing that I had been heartbroken once again and it was a difficult thing to accept. But instead of wallowing in my sorrows, I chose resilience by focusing on self-love as an act of bravery. My vulnerability became the power source for embracing myself wholeheartedly - all that mattered was following what felt true inside me. Being vulnerable was the switch that changed everything. It meant that I not only had to face being heartbroken, losing my uterus, and being alone, but also finally face being raped by my nephews dad as a child. I realized the path to self love was not going to be easy. I decided that I should probably call my therapist to help me with that one. The rape was something that no one knew about, but I finally shared it first with my therapist. It was time to clear out my closets.

4.Practice forgiveness

One of the most important aspects of spirituality and self-love is forgiveness. Forgiving yourself for your mistakes and forgiving others for theirs is essential for moving forward in life. It’s also a way of showing compassion and understandingIt was a daunting task to forgive the person who had hurt me so deeply, but I knew it was something that must be done. So each time they crossed my mind, I offered up an inner prayer of both forgiveness and self-love - realizing that while forgiving them would bring some reprieve from the pain of their actions; ultimately reconciliation with myself through unconditional acceptance for all we have experienced as one entity throughout life is just as important. Forgiveness brings peace on this winding journey towards true self love. I suddenly realized that all this time, an inner part of me had been waiting for forgiveness. Although it was hard to do, I knew deep down that in order for me to heal and move on with my life, forgiving myself was the only way forward.

I began to understand why self-love is so important: it forms a foundation of true personal power, setting you free from fear and worry about what others may think or do. To conclude my exploration into self-love, I’ve discovered it is an essential part of personal growth and development. It sets you free from external opinions and helps to form a foundation for your inner power. When you feel connected to yourself, not only does your soul blossom with joy, but you can approach life with clearer intention and purpose. Self-love can be tough sometimes, however it’s absolutely worth the effort. Everything starts and ends within you — now is your time to build the foundation for your happiness! This is why self-love comes first when striving for a fulfilling life. So, how are you going to show yourself some love today? Let me know in the comments – I can’t wait to hear what creative ideas come up!