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First date......

what could have gone wrong?

By Abasifreke DavidPublished 11 months ago 3 min read
First date......
Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash

My homegirl finally got to go on a date with her long-time crush(it was mutual by the way), she came home all happy and all. But then, he didn't call nor text her back after then. She came asking where she could have gone wrong, then i decided to share this here, cause there are some people out there who have been through this as well, so i'm hoping this helps. There are some common factors that could contribute to a lack of interest or a lack of follow-up after a date. These factors can vary depending on individual preferences and circumstances, but here are a few possibilities:

Lack of connection: Sometimes, two people may simply not have a strong connection or chemistry during the date. This can happen for various reasons, such as differences in interests, values, or communication styles.

Mismatched expectations: It's possible that you and your date had different expectations for the date. If these expectations weren't communicated or aligned, it could lead to disappointment or a sense of disconnect.

Conversation difficulties: Engaging in meaningful and enjoyable conversation is important on a date. If there were challenges in keeping the conversation flowing, it might have created an awkward or uncomfortable atmosphere.

Personal reasons: Remember that there could be factors unrelated to you or the date that influenced the person's decision not to call you back. They may have personal circumstances, commitments, or reasons that have nothing to do with your actions or behavior.

Lack of chemistry: Sometimes, despite both parties being polite and respectful, there might not be enough mutual attraction or chemistry to pursue further dates.

Overbearing behavior: Being too pushy or dominating the conversation can make the other person uncomfortable or feel unheard.

Negativity or complaining: Constantly expressing negative feelings or complaining about various aspects of life can be draining and unappealing.

Too much self-focus: Focusing solely on oneself without showing genuine interest in the other person can make them feel unimportant.

Controversial topics: Bringing up sensitive or polarizing subjects can create tension and discomfort.

Unkind behavior: Any form of rudeness or disrespect, no matter how small, can be a turn-off.

Lack of interest: Sometimes, one person might not be genuinely interested in dating, or they may have other priorities at the moment.

Misaligned expectations: Differences in what both individuals are looking for in a relationship can lead to an end after the first date.

Do you want to give him/her a call after the bad date?. First off, consider these:

Reflect on the date: Take some time to reflect on the date and assess if there were any specific issues or misunderstandings that contributed to it going poorly. Consider if these are things that can be addressed or improved upon in future interactions.

Your feelings: Evaluate your own feelings about the person and the date. If you still have an interest in getting to know them better despite the initial setback, reaching out might be worth considering. However, if the experience left you feeling uncomfortable or uninterested, it's okay to move on and focus on finding someone who is a better match for you.

Communication and consent: If you decide to reach out, make sure to approach the conversation with openness and respect. Ask for their consent to discuss the date, and be prepared to listen to their perspective as well. It's important to maintain a respectful and understanding tone during any communication.

Ultimately, the decision to contact the person after a bad first date is up to you. Trust your instincts and consider what you hope to achieve by reaching out. Remember that dating is a process of discovering compatibility, and it's perfectly acceptable to explore other options if this particular connection didn't work out. Dating experiences are subjective and multifaceted. One person's perception may differ from another's, so it's not always a reflection of something you did "wrong." It's essential to be yourself and find someone who appreciates you for who you are. It's important not to be too hard on yourself and to remember that dating is a learning process. Not every date will lead to a connection, and that's perfectly normal. If you're interested in feedback specific to your situation, it might be helpful to seek input from friends or trusted individuals who know you well and could provide more personalized advice.


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