February 4, 2021

Dear Diary,

It’s been a pretty cool week. I have just one question! How do you date a guy with multiple “homegirls”? Yep, I’m the girlfriend that is a bit jealous and it does kind of bother me a bit. So, O is pretty cool, and he doesn’t seem like he’s hiding anything. He’s told me about all the friends he has. He says he has told them about me. I’ve met his sister and she seem cool. It does seem a bit different because he always answers the phone. He’s soo sweet to me and this is really cool. Its not like I can do anything about them because they were there first. I think it’s a bit disrespectful and controlling to tell him that he can’t talk to them anymore because I feel uncomfortable about it. Like where is the trust right? Half of my brain is trusting, and half is like boys cheat and deal with it. I shouldn’t think that boys cheat, but he doesn’t really seem like a boy but a man. I guess that could be the difference as well. I’ve always seen boys cut up like that but the men I have known actually take care of their women and are loyal. I don’t think I have much to worry about with him. If it comes in my face, then I’ll say something about it but until then I’m going to leave it alone.

I’ve always been awkward about men with a lot of homegirls. It just seems pimpish or like he has mommy issues or something. I don’t keep a lot of men friends around me (or any friends for that matter). Is it the possibility of options that a man has or is it that he just likes hanging out with women? If he does like hanging out with women does that mean he’s gay? I never understood how people can remain friends after dating. I’m not that way at all. I’m ghosting after we break up. The other person won’t be able to find me, call me or see any social media at all. I make it though I was a dream, just figment of their imagination. If I broke up with you then there was something that aggravated me about being around you, so why in the blue hell would I want to stick around that for? I also don’t trust grade school friends either. That’s too much chemistry for me to compete with. I don’t like competition and I refuse to compete. What is for me will be for me and what is for someone else is for someone else. If I feel I have to compete with any other woman besides a family member (blood related), I’m bout to bounce out the relationship. At 36 I refuse to compete with a childhood friend if it looks too personal. It seems that when men have a childhood friend of the opposite sex, it’s deep!! A lot deeper than the significant other can fathom or imagine. I mean, we all have our different friends, and we have the right to have those friends. I just think that when it comes to being in a relationship that the friends of the opposite sex should be introduced ASAP. There needs to be a meet and greet with the friend. At that meet and greet all info needs to be put on the table. I need to know how long ya’ll been friends? Why ya’ll still talk? Have ya’ll ever kissed? Have ya’ll had sex? Have ya’ll ever been a couple and broke it off? Would you at any point consider dating them? I need to know everything lol. I know its kind of sad, but I don’t trust it Diary! I really don’t have a choice at this point because we in this now, so it is what it is. Like I said, until it’s put in my face, I’m going to do what I need to do. Anyway, it’s almost the weekend and I’m ready to chill with my Queens and my bae. Imma Holla Atcha!!!