Last year I came out as Bi-Sexual. It was something I had to do. I couldn't hide it any longer. If I did I honestly don't know what would've happened. But this isn't about that. This is about how how I came out. How I realized that I was Bi-sexual. But before I continue I want to emphasize to anyone who may be struggling with their own sexuality that you're not alone and you are most certainly enough. If anyone doesn't support you they don't deserve to be in your life. You deserve to be your most authentic self and nobody should take that away from you.
I came out last year after taking time to heal from a horribly abusive relationship that left me with more trauma then I care to admit. I'd always been a supporter of the LGBTQIA Community. I'd always tried my best to fight for equality. I'd always felt that everyone deserved to marry the one they loved and wanted to be with. But there was something else too, after some time I realized I was not only fighting for others but I was fighting for myself. I was fighting for my own rights as well. I'd always been attracted to girls as well as guys. But I never acknowledged it. I never fed into it. I never let myself be the person I was supposed to be. So one drinking problem, 2 sexual assualts and one abusive relationship later I decided enough was enough. I was finally going to let myself acknowledge this truth. I was finally going to be the person I was always meant to be. I also acknowledged that I couldn't have come out any sooner because I wasn't ready. I wasn't secure enough to do so. I wasn't in a mental space to accept this truth about myself. I kept thinking about how I would come out and if I would be accepted. I was sure my family would accept me, But I wasn't sure of the rest of the world. I wasn't sure how people would react, especially those who only knew me as the boy-crazy drunk girl from high school. I was raised going to church and in church I learned that my attractions were wrong or disordered. But I've since learned that it's not wrong or disordered. I'm perfectly fine! God made me exactly the way I need to be.
Now because of the trauma I went through I don't trust men. I still find them attractive, I just don't trust them. I need to work on that. Can anyone else relate? Can anyone else understand where I'm coming from? Is this something that anyone else deals with? If so you aren't alone. Struggling is not uncommon. Would anyone be able to relate to this. So with that being said I'd like to offer some enouragement to those who might be struggling with the idea of coming out. I need you to know that you're not alone. I need you to know that anyone who makes you feel bad for being your true self isn't meant to be in your life. Nobody can take that away from you. People who don't support you or love you for who you are and who you love don't deserve a position in your life. You are not a mistake, there might be people who think that. But.I need you to know that you're not a mistake. You were perfectly made and have a long happy life ahead of you. You are completely and utterly and most definitley always worth it.
About the Creator
Amanda Nicole
Hey I'm Amanda! I'm a writer, Podcaster and a pet sitter. I'm much more then that! Read my stories to find out :)
https://linktr.ee/gilmorepretty
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Comments (1)
Amanda, your vulnerability and honesty in this piece are awesome! I loved when you said, "People who don't support you or love you for who you are and who you love don't deserve a position in your life". I really enjoyed this writing!