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Essential Things You Need To Know Before Living With Your Partner

Because it's a MUST to make sure things will go well.

By Nadiya KovtunPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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HiveBoxx on Unsplash

You’ve been through a lot, and living together seems like the next logical step you take as a couple. Not only do you save more money, but you also get to see each other every day. It’s an efficient solution for couples with hectic schedules.

But before jumping the gun, it’s good to assess and look at the grander scheme of things. Moving in together involves many responsibilities and adjustments. If you’re not ready to make any changes to your life, you might be ruining your relationship in the process.

Cohabitation is a step closer to marriage, which is why you should take it into careful consideration before deciding to move in together.

Are You Indubitably Sure You Are Ready to Move In Together?

Ask yourself, “Can I rely on my partner to help me out at home? Can we tolerate each other’s habits without hurting each other?”

If your answer is no, then you still need more time to get to know each other. You might regret quickly moving in together once you realize they are not marriage material. Not only will things get complicated, but you will also find it hard to break apart from each other.

Cohabitation binds couples together, which is both good and bad. Good because it strengthens the bond between them, bad because it’ll make them feel stuck in the relationship. You probably won't be able to leave the relationship if things don't work out because you've become way too settled.

You have to be confident in your decision. You can’t allow your feelings to get ahead of you. Sure, waking up next to your partner every morning sounds romantic. But it’ll be hard to keep that lovey-dovey romance alive when your laundry is all over the bed.

At first, you wouldn’t mind these little things. But eventually, these little things won’t seem so little anymore, and they will soon pile up and start to bother you.

You try to tell your partner about these issues, but they don’t think much of it. They feel way too comfortable with themselves to stop what they are doing. In your defense, anyone would feel fed up and tired of dealing with them.

If you aren’t careful in making your decision, you might be flushing years of your relationship down the drain.

It’s much better to know your partner’s true colors while you’re still in your dating phase, not your cohabitation phase. At the very least, you still have the chance to exit peacefully.

How to Determine If You Are Ready for Cohabitation

There’s no universal time frame for a couple to move in together. Each couple faces different situations and circumstances, so it’s impossible to have a definite answer.

An easy solution to determine whether you are ready for cohabitation is by traveling together.

Traveling with your partner is like a free trial to cohabitation. You get to see what they are like when placed in stressful situations, how they handle responsibilities, and how capable they are of managing themselves.

A partner with zero life skills would not make a good partner. They’ll be relying on you to do most of the work. Unless you’re fine with that, it’s best that you save the idea of living together for later.

Much like cohabitation, traveling also requires full cooperation. You need to be able to work and make decisions together. A partner that leaves everything up to you is not ideal.

If this is how they are when traveling together, what more when you live under the same roof? Would you be okay with that?

Opening the Topic of Living Together with Your Partner

If you are seriously considering moving in together, it’s best that you sit down and discuss this with your partner.

You can’t make the decision alone. Your partner has to be 100% involved in it as well. Here are a few topics that you should discuss together thoroughly before you decide to cohabitate:

  1. Finances
  2. Future plans
  3. Future Children
  4. Family matters
  5. Personal Issues
  6. Beliefs and Values
  7. Career paths
  8. Division of Work.

It doesn't matter how you tackle the topics. You just have to be as honest as you can and deal with them with full maturity.

HiveBoxx on Unsplash

You also have to be critical when giving answers. You might say you wouldn’t do this or that in a hypothetical situation. But when you find yourself in said situation, you react differently than expected.

All of these discussions will teach you quite a bit about your communication style. This may be the most important factor that determines the longevity and happiness of your relationship.

Talking about challenging topics helps you determine how your partner will fare in your future discussion. One way to tell if your relationship is going in the right direction is when:

  1. You listen to each other’s views with utmost respect
  2. Express your own opinions without feeling constrained
  3. Work towards a compromise

If you do all this while still holding the same love for each other, then you know your partner is a keeper.

You need to know exactly what needs addressing before taking your relationship to the next level. If you have no idea what it is, then you probably need more time to think about it.

Talking the Talk

You can make a lot of promises about how you can figure things out together, but it's easier said than done. When things get rough and your patience is tested, it’ll be hard to keep to your word.

In the end, it’ll just be an empty promise.

You can avoid this by being honest with your partner and setting up proper expectations. Relationships aren’t always sunshine and daisies. You’re bound to run into some rough patches.

Think carefully before you proceed. To make the right decision, you have to make it with the right person. Haven’t found one yet? Why not give online dating a try?

Out of the hundreds of profiles on the site, there is surely someone you can form a genuine relationship with. It’s just a matter of taking a leap of faith.

Nadiya Kovtun, Professional Matchmaker and Dating Consultant for 1st Choice Dating

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About the Creator

Nadiya Kovtun

Professional Matchmaker and Dating Consultant for 1st Choice Dating

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