Energy Vampires

When you're sitting at your desk about to start your work day and then your co-worker pounces on you, and after 20 minutes of chatting, he finally leaves you alone, only to find that you're too tired to complete any tasks efficiently.

And so I became a victim of an energy vampire.

An energy vampire is a toxic person who sucks your energy source, leaving you emotionally exhausted, whether it's because they're cocky, manipulative, or just talkative.

The office is a favorite hunting ground for energy vampires, so employees need to be careful when returning to work in person, according to Tessa West, a professor of psychology at New York University and author of Goofs at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them.

How do you discover an energy vampire?

Some types of this group of people are easier to spot than others. However, the most tested sign is a feeling of uncertainty and apprehension before dealing with them, West says.

"If you really feel your heart rate and your palms are sweating, then you're in a really stressful situation because most of the time stress responses are imperceptible," West explained.

West noted that feeling uncomfortable talking to someone who isn't contributing to your work goals may also be an indicator, adding that you feel like you're busy all day, but you've barely completed any tasks.

West notes that managers are no exception to being energy suckers, and she explains that a leader who dedicates work to other people without offering to do anything and creating problems that don't exist can be an energy sucker.

The Power Vampire's Favorite Prey

Introverts and people who see the best in others are often prime targets for energy vampires, says Peter Economy, author of Wait, I Work With Who?! The Essential Guide to Dealing with Difficult Coworkers, Annoying Bosses, and Other Toxic Personalities.

"I think most people assume that people are good and won't try to hurt them," added Economy.

West noted that energy vampires can sense people's vulnerabilities, so they go after those who hate conflict and are easy to control.

She added that energy vampires try to prey on those who are not comfortable encountering them at the time.

Learn to resist

The first step to preventing an energy vampire from attacking you is to recognize that you are being targeted, Economy said.

Once you identify these warning signs, refuse to play the game.

West advised that it is always best to avoid interactions with a vampire if at all possible, but if there is no escape, you need to develop a raw communication style.

For example, saying, "Okay, it's time to leave, this conversation is over," West explains.

West also uses a simple but effective trick when trying to dodge an energy vampire. She stands up from her seat. "Don't sit at your desk because energy vampires don't pick up on subtle, nonverbal cues that it's time to leave and they'll be there forever," she said.

"When you stand up, it creates a kind of urgency or discomfort because this interaction won't last long," West explained.

She added that in order to end the conversation, tell the other person that you need to go, then leave your workplace and rush to the bathroom or somewhere else.

Like ordinary vampires, energy vampires stay out of the sun, and Economy said they will avoid employees with a bright, positive personality.

Could you be an energy sucker?

One indication that you might be an energy sucker, West said, is that you feel like your work correspondence ends up inside a black hole, meaning that you may be constantly trying to organize meetings or writing multiple long emails without getting a response in return.

West explained that this is a sign that most people don't want to say anything negative, but they don't have a positive comment to say, so they don't participate.

Most people tend to think that everything they do is very good, so you may not be able to tell if you're an energy sucker until someone confronts you, said Economy, and added that in most cases, you should figure it out for yourself.

Part of the answer, says Economy, is your sensitivity to the impact you're having on other people.

And if you notice that your co-workers are trying to avoid you, or you feel uncomfortable around you, these could be indications that you are an energy sucker, says Economy.

West added that he said no one is immune from becoming a negative person, so be kind to yourself through the process.