Drifting..

We live in a world too consumed with options.

Making people feel disposable.

People who are always waiting for the next best thing or some missing piece.

Whatever happened to playing for keeps?

With the mindset that things are in fact greener on the other side.

I may be consumed by uncertainty at this level of my life as I keep pushing forward.

Granted I haven't made the best choices either, we can't control our lives as much as we think we have a hold on them.

Detours occur often making us reroute, reevaluate, and repress.

Some qualities you like only exist in certain people. A rare combination that you don't find twice. No two people are ever the same. Not comparable.

I'm in this just drifting stage of my life, going with the flow and not forcing a single thing.

Life isn't fair, it tests us, challenging our hearts, left with words unspoken and overthinking.

I had someone who I thought was good for me.

I had someone I liked, wanted.

I keep pushing forward in hopes one day I will find/ have that again.

I try not to let my thoughts consume me but my restless nights need to come to a halt. Too many tabs open.

I don't even know how I function anymore.

Contemplating my next move, stuck in the in between.

Procrastination sets in and more often I am left staring at the walls around me.

Why can't we just say what we mean and mean what we say these days?

Why is it so hard in this day and age to be genuinely happy?

Seems all I am doing is distracting myself but I haven't reverted back to the toxicities which I am.proud to admit.

I'm not looking for the next best thing.

I'm not looking at all for much these days.

Except for what is best for me. Aligned with those who belong in my life no matter how the story reads.

Nobody else I want or like…Not now anyway, again who knows when that will change.

My roster was benched months ago and will remain that way, no longer options I care to have.

Once upon a time I found him…

But life had other plans…

Sometimes some stories will remain unfinished.

Some stories carried on longer than the characters did.

Some stories are made to share.

And some that remain unwritten.

Only we hold ourselves back.

Nobody has that control.

It's what we do next and how we proceed that matters…

In life people come and people go…

Some do not know what they really want.

Some just want their hearts to be safe.

Life is about creating balance.

I like myself around certain people.

Those people who allow me to just be me.

Those who make me laugh and be my quirky self.

Never having to prove myself.

I never regret anything that once made me smile.

If I have to remain single, so be it…

A place I know oh so well..

But this time with a different aspect.

Change your pattern, things didn’t work out in the past. Take a different approach. Be real, be honest, be vulnerable, be genuine but most of all be yourself.

People who want to be in your life will make the effort. People who want to be apart of your story will show up. You should never have to question anyone's intentions..

Love me or hate me either way I know what I bring to the metaphorical table and I'm not scared to eat alone.