Piece to peace

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PIECE TO PEACE: PACSAC



Finally getting a divorce. That weight lifted. Even though I forget that I was even married. It was brief. This month marks 20 years of separation. So Ironically I'm going to sign and date them on that exact day, finishing this cycle and lifting that weight on my shoulders.
Since then I've been in and out of situations that never lead to something substantial.
I briefly changed that status from single to in a relationship but only to revert back to the life I have known forever. Solo… Me against the world.
I've levelled up, my Granddaughter unintentionally taunts me with a name she has learnt, someone she hasn't met but guess she was paying attention to my words. A man she will never meet unfortunately. Although I hoped she would have, that's neither here nor there.

For a moment I found peace and all the pieces fit.

I will say it felt good to be cared about. Genuinely.

I don't talk about the men in my past.

Honestly up until my most recent they didn't deserve a chapter let alone another single word uttered.

As this new chapter unfolds I can only hope that the next one who walks into my life doesn't have reservations, nothing left undone and I am his last missing piece.

Presented in front of me was a man I honestly was waiting to come around my whole life.

One who was merely a lesson because as my luck would have it didn't make it to this next chapter.

I may sound crazy to say this outloud but Soulmate seems fitting.
Something I never believed in but in a way makes total sense. By exact definition of both, one represents

A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, compatibility and trust.

The purpose of discovering your twin flame is to speed up your growth, to release wounds, remove blockages, and lead you to true self-love, learning a lesson.

Someone you find comfort in doesn't come around often enough, someone who draws something different out of you.
Someone whose presence makes your heart safe.




Being by myself stuck in a continuous loop…

Options at my fingertips but a world I no longer wish to explore.
I'll stay away from online dating sites.

And continue to embrace what comes naturally.

Sometimes you have to take a brief step back, sit with the pain and let it make its way out of your body.

Piece by piece

Sit in your new found emotions.


I never imagined being a single empty nester in this stage of my life.

Putting myself out there time and time again.

Only those with substance will get my time, only those who reciprocate.
Only those who show me effort and consistency, giving me a reason to gravitate towards them.
Someone who chooses me without hesitation.
Remaining loyal to those who bring the calm not the storm.


Ghost me and I will be a memory.


Still the hardest good-bye.
My heart still sinks.
My friends say I deserve someone who I will be enough for.
That nothing more will be required from me.
That what I have to give will be enough.

I don't know if I'm ready to date or meet anyone new, this will take someone to find me.





Still in my bed alone.
These restless nights haunt me.





I will no longer chase a pipedream.

Natural occurrences have to take place.

Again left with that missing piece.

One day I will find peace and embrace it with uncertainty and open arms.