Dream Within A Dream

I stole glances from across the cafe, stuck between wanting you to notice me and praying that you never do. My inner turmoil taking a high dive off the deep end and before I knew it, I was imagining our life together.

I imagined our lives as a movie. I imagined you’d walked up to me and I’d pretend not to notice. Suddenly I’d receive an airdrop request. I’d open it to see a picture of me with the caption, “I noticed you too”. Then you’d invite me to dinner, which would be a surprise of course. We’d exchange numbers and then we’d part, but not before you’d send me a smile that gave off a sense of familiarity. Like a dash of eternity and a memory of a promise kept.

As I got myself ready for our date, I couldn’t stop thinking about that smile. It was a nice smile. It was real and it occupied my mind for every single second until we meet again.

At 7 on the dot I begin to get cold feet, I mean, first dates are supposed to be awkward but what if it just goes wrong?

There’s no more time to decide, because he’s here now, just as handsome in his white button down and black slacks. I have to remind myself to breathe. Good thing one of us has a working brain or else we would’ve been standing at my door all night.

He graciously walks me to his car and we got in. During the ride, he lets me pick the radio station as we exchange small talk. I felt self conscious at my overdress and began to fidget in the passenger seat and he just grabbed my hand, holding it gently within his. Telling the story of the first time he saw an orca whale at a show in an aquarium, never missing a beat.

We arrived at the park with a beautifully open clearing there were trees and there were benches shut up just far away from the water that’s not falling but just close enough to see the ripples as the wind kissed the surface. He sat me down and went back to his car grabbing two bags from the back seat. One had food: two sandwiches, two bowls of fruit, and several kinds of cheesecake slices. I laughed at the simplicity of it all and fell deeper in adoration.

In the other bag there was a bottle of red wine and two glasses. The light of the last quarter moon shed a light on the label. A bottle of merlot, from clos du bois.

We ate and we laughed. The water rippled and the wind blew and the world felt right under the glow of the vernal moon. He poured me a glass of Merlot and passion flowed from the bottle to the glass into him and into me.

At some point you asked me if we can go on another date but I couldn’t focus on anything else other than how much I didn’t want this one to end. Soon the screen went black and the credits rolled and I was forced to realign myself with reality.

I almost missed you as you walked out the coffee shop door. In my head you asked me for a second date and I don’t even have the courage to say hello.