Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone

Once in Weibo brush to such a question:

When did you start to lose hope in the world?

Click on the comment section.

Some people say that they think their friends will send wishes on their birthday. But after 12 o 'clock, there was no wechat message.

Some people say that the boss is usually very "respect" for themselves, but when the internal promotion, but did not say a word will be the opportunity to colleagues.

Others list their experiences of being stupid and complain decisively, never trusting anyone again.

Indeed, we used to think that we were very important in other people's hearts.

Can experience the warm and cold, just understand: too overestimate and other people's relationship, will eventually be boring.

Hongyi said, "What you need is to wake up and settle down. You don't have to be self-righteous. In other people's world, you are as light as a particle."

Life in the world, to learn to clear their weight.

It's better to live by yourself than to force others to respond.

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Weekend dinner, friend Wenwen talked about a sad thing:

This time last year, she started learning online marketing to keep her business afloat.

Writing copy, taking photos, shooting videos, retouching pictures... She put all her mind into these things except looking at the store.

And different from the previous unknown, Wenwen appeared in the circle of friends times, also more up.

She kept time to deliver carefully edited content on time; And specially to good relationship friends send a private message, please they pay more attention to forward.

Everyone surface reply: good good, must support.

But who knows a chat, Wenwen just found: in addition to a few bestie, others would have their own shield shield.

Originally, they already thought Wenwen advertising too much too annoying; He even privately teased her about the low quality and poor taste of the goods she bought.

That all this Wenwen, the heart five mixed.

There is a popular comment on NetEase Cloud Music:

People are most afraid of ah, is love. Taking everything seriously, thinking it's gonna work out, and then it's just an audition.

Life is actually very cruel: those self-righteous people, will eventually live into other people's eyes "joke".

One writer shared this experience:

When she was six months pregnant, she asked her mother if she could help with the baby.

She felt sure her mother would say yes, and even made follow-up arrangements.

However, my mother not only refused outright, but also said that she did not want to disrupt her life for someone else.

At that time, she was shocked and in a bad mood.

But that's why she learned not to overestimate relationships with anyone, even flesh and blood.

People often have an illusion that they have a good relationship with others and feel that others care about them very much.

In fact, most of the time, your self-righteousness, in the eyes of others is just a clown like wishful thinking.

Everyone has their own priorities, even if day and night together, even intimate.

Only by lowering our expectations and adjusting our mentality can we keep the dignity of life.

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Do you know someone who:

They don't feel special, and they don't expect attention or favor from others.

Wronged himself swallow, he carries, find his way out.

Whether it is work or life, always keep the right sense of proportion with the outside world.

At first glance, this kind of people seem a little reserved, but after a long time, you will find that they get along with them, but the most comfortable.

Zhu Suosuo in the TV drama "The Golden Age" is this type:

There was a period of time, nowhere to go she was boudoir Jiang Nan Sun invited to live in his home.

Although Nansun repeatedly said, "Don't mention it," Zhu Suosuo knew exactly who he was.

She did not expect Nan Sun to say good words, but privately will rent to grandma, Jiang family sincerely accepted.

She did not want to live like a princess like Nansun, but took the initiative to wash dishes and do everything she could.

Zhu Suocho knows: no matter how warm the other person is, no matter how close to each other, she can not go over the line.

After all, a big taboo in interpersonal communication is that others are polite, but you are true.

Do not overestimate their own weight, do not break the boundaries of others, is the adult should be sober.

Li Xiaoyi, a journalist, said a friend asked her to ask for an autograph from Yi Zhongtian because they had done a live broadcast together.

But upon hearing his friend's request, Li Xiaoyi flatly refused, explaining that he did not have Yi Zhongtian's wechat.

She knew that Professor Yi liked quietness, so she would contact the editor to convey all matters.

She knew better that her relationship was not enough to break the rules.

"Zengguang Xian Wen" wrote: "Meet like the first acquaintance, to the old end without resentment."

All the long relationships in the world, there is a golden distance suitable for near and far.

Don't take yourself too seriously in someone else's world.

Keep good boundaries, keep enough humility, to make the relationship lasting.

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In the social world, there is a term that reflects the nature of interpersonal relationships called "commutability coefficient".

The higher the commutability coefficient, the easier it is to be valued.

On the other hand, if the coefficient is too low, even if you work hard, it will be worthless in the eyes of others.

The writer never heard of his words, and was severely stabbed in the heart for his "low coefficient" :

During his college years, he became a popular figure on campus as he held important positions in the student union and literary society.

From time to time, his classmates invited him to parties. He also enjoyed the atmosphere and spent a lot of time on social interaction.

Until one time, he and his friends borrowed money to pay the rent. Those who usually "call each other" people, unexpectedly all did not figure.

In his disappointment, he finally realized that the so-called friends are an illusion. When you can't, all social is futile.

Author Carson McCullers said, "We save ourselves by being proud, by being dignified, by being strong."

People who really have great wisdom, never committed to studying contacts, but know how to repair, to seek.

In 2015, writer Gruel Zoruo switched careers to enter the new media circuit.

Different from many people at that time to worship big coffee, mixed circle practice, he quietly into the content of grinding.

When there is no class, he sits in his office writing courseware, recording lessons and practicing his teaching skills.

When he goes out to give lectures, he never adds students' wechat. Instead of staying after class, he comes and goes in a hurry and keeps no social contact.

He even refused to attend the industry dinners and communication meetings that were so popular with everyone that he spent all his energy on settling himself.

Because he knew that unless he was very good, he had no right to have relationships and no reason to expect anyone else.

Finally, with this sobriety, he completed the counterattack from the monthly salary to the annual salary of one million in just 3 years.

The most important proposition in this life is always to manage yourself well.

Stop relying on others, get down to earth and do what's right in front of you to make yourself more valuable.

This may have to endure loneliness, swallow regret, experience the lonely lonely.

But when we live out their own confidence, can not be limited to the world, control the initiative of life.

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I like Lin Qingxuan's words very much: "Life needs subtraction, to consciously put down a lot of things, to be more leisurely, slower."

This is the way of life, and so is the relationship between people.

Let go of high expectations, guard the boundaries of relationships, and focus on your own growth.

The desire to relate to others is like a wild weed.

Left unchecked, it saps all energy and leaves life barren and barren.

Only timely eradication, we can retain nutrients, strong growth, ushering in a prosperous spring.

~end~

If you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

~This is Antoine, and I hope you find pleasure in each of my articles~