Don't Dance so Fast, The Music Won't Last

I've developed an addiction to audiobooks, and I just finished "The 4-hour Workweek" by Tim Ferriss. At the end of the book, contained within a chapter titled "An Email, You Need to Read," is a poem about appreciating life.

I was in the middle of cleaning, toiling away, hanging up clothes, and not really listening to my book. Slowly the words pulled me out of my trance of work, and they began to resonate with me.

While listening to this poem, I felt a twang of pain in my chest. All at once, I remembered all the moments that slipped away with me on autopilot. How much joy? How many memories? How many sunsets? How many slow evenings with friends?

Slow Dance, by David L. Weatherford :

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,

or listened to rain slapping the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight,

or gazed at the sun fading into the night?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,

time is short, the music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly,

when you ask “How are you?”, do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,

with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,

time is short, the music won’t last.

Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow,

and in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a friendship die,

’cause you never had time to call and say hi?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,

time is short, the music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,

you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

it’s like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life isn’t a race, so take it slower,

hear the music before your song is over.

I refuse to watch my life flow past like a spectator. I want to grow my gratitude and give sincere praise. I want to pause for a second, to acknowledge and celebrate the aspects of my life that make it worth it to slow down and make the music worth dancing to.

Vocal

Vocal is a platform for supporting, discovering and rewarding creators. With access to storytelling tools and engaged communities, writers, musicians, filmmakers, artists, and all types of creatives can get discovered and fund their creativity.

I found Vocal about a year and a half ago. Destitute and lost, I needed something to dedicate myself to. I feel very protective of Vocal. I see people on social media calling it a scam or saying it's "impossible" to make money on the site, and I feel my anger boil up. On the opposite end, I read all the shareholder's letters. I also do my best to keep up to date with the creations of everyone involved at Vocal.

The truth is I feel connected because this platform has changed my life. Poverty is creeping up on most Americans, and in these times, I have a lifeboat. I have a beacon of hope.

There is power in creativity. A single individual can influence the world with that power. And while that is no longer academic, that strength has to be shared with everyone. The power to be heard is the power to be Vocal.

Jeremy Frommer

These emotions eventually overflowed, and I couldn't rest until I got my thank you out there. So I googled Jeremy Frommer's (the founder of Vocal and Creatd) email, and I wrote the following message.

"Hi, Jeremy,

I've been a vocal creator for almost two years now, and the platform is helping me realize my dreams and what is truly possible.

The challenge winnings have kept me and my family fed and content during a pandemic that ravaged our country's economy. I've wanted to send you a thank you letter for a long time, but lose courage when I do. But today, I was reading over your letter about Q3, and my heart swelled with happiness. Vocal deserves to grow and to grow quickly.

So, thank you. Thank you for being courageous and starting a platform that does so much for the small creator. Because of you, I can think big and realize my dreams. Because of you, so many others can do the same thing. If you ever think your work isn't meaningful, it is to me and has changed my life.

I can't wait to see what you create next.

Sincerely,

An admirer of your character and a fan of your work,

RJ Wade."

Five minutes after I left my keyboard with shaking hands and a quickly beating heart, I got a follow-up email with a message that said the address wasn't found and no one was going to receive my letter.

My thank you wasn't just to Jeremy, but everyone at Vocal. Thank you to the individuals who help me when I leave in a typo. Thank you to the curation team for seeing something in my pieces. Thank you to everyone involved in bringing writers to this site because I would have nothing without you. But more importantly, without the support of Vocal, I wouldn't have the confidence even to try.

People I'm Thankful For

My Mom

"When you are looking at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know."

—Charley Benetto.

My mother never talks about politics; she never is the first to tell me when something terrible is going on in the world or her world. My mother never speaks down to my ideas; she breathes encouragement into my actions.

As a writer, I have the unusual opportunity to make those I love immortal. I struggle a lot with how I want them represented in the written word. But I can confidently say, my mother is a light and gift to this world, and I would do anything for her. Immortalizing her legacy is a privilege.

"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power."

—Maya Angelou.

My Love

"All that you are is all that I'll ever need."

-Ed Sheeran

If I didn't include my girlfriend Etta, I would be remiss and a dead woman. Etta, thank you for being a passionate whirlwind of energy. You keep me alive, present, and continuously trying to be better. You are the origin of some of my best art. Thank you for being my muse, you are limitless, and I'm thankful to be along for the ride.

I used to believe that life was pointless and doomed to misery. But when I met you, I realized that some things are worth it. I would miss you if we never met. Somewhere along the way, when we were just energy, we bonded, and for you, I am eternally thankful, my love.

"I love her, and that's the beginning and end of everything."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Bradley

I met Bradley while interviewing local homeless people for my "A Tale of Two Cities" article. Since we've become good friends, I'll stop by on my way home and drop him off a Lipton's tea or a preroll when I have it.

No matter what, Bradley always greets me with the same smile. It does not matter if he's in the same clothes I left him last or if the weather is bitterly cold. Bradley is happy to see me and never has anything negative to say. I'm thankful for my new friend because he alone has trained my gratitude and helped me learn more about a community that seems so unreachable.

Summer and Oliver

My two bundles of joy. Oliver, who destroys everything he can (electronics seem to be his preference.) And my little genius Summer, who decides to pee in my suitcase when she notices I'm almost ready to leave.

For these two, I'm incredibly thankful; they keep me sane. I can't take life too seriously when I look over and see a cat completely lounging in the sun. We adopted them both, and it feels like Etta and I have made a little family.

In one way or another, the world made us all feel unwanted. But here, We've made our little place to belong—a merry gang of outcasts. And yes, they count as people too.

Education

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”

― Maya Angelou

I got to a point where I was so crimpled with anxiety that I was willing to put my life completely in other's hands. I was willing to try anything for relief. I devoured the highly regarded self-help books and put them into practice. The result? I'm free from time famine, the fear of death, incessant worrying, and copious amounts of stress. A few books and skills I learned made the most difference and provided the most relief.

I'm so thankful to the creators of these books and their influence on my life. It has made so much difference in my happiness and life fulfillment.

The 4-Hour Work Week By Tim Ferriss

The title sounds gimmicky and scammy, and even Tim acknowledges it. But the way this book was able to reframe how I thought about time and what it taught me about productivity is invaluable.

I reread this book often now just to make sure I don't forget any of the lessons or principles. I use it as a business guide and a life guide. Through this book, Tim also introduced me to the next most influential education piece in my life.

The Stoic Philosophy

It’s a philosophy designed to make us more resilient, happier, more virtuous and more wise–and as a result, better people, better parents and better professionals.

I use the Stoics guidance as an operating system to look at life and deal with its challenges. Two of my most important lessons have come from Epictetus and Seneca. Seneca was a famous roman playwright and counselor to the Emporer. In comparison, Epictetus was born a slave and lived a hard life, once having his leg twisted to the point of breaking by a master. Still, he remained resilient and formed his classes around remaining strong through the chaos.

Teaching Resilience

“Lameness is an impediment to the leg, but not to the will.”

-Epictetus

Epictetus teaches that you can only control some things in life. We cannot control what diseases emerge in nature. We can only control how we respond. So will you reach for the lever of defeat, resentment, and fear? Or courage, hope, resilience, and optimism? This idea has helped me cope with the pandemic. There is so much I cannot control, but there are things I can.

I can look out for my neighbors, call my friends and family, send a card. I can donate; I can give careful attention and time.

Letters From a Stoic

Seneca's lessons are found in a letter to his friend. He's counseling him on the value of time and possessions. A lot of what was relevant in ancient Rome is still the case today. We are still wasting our time on people, projects, and things that we hate.

You will hear many men saying: “After my fiftieth year I shall retire into leisure, my sixtieth year shall release me from public duties.” And what guarantee, pray, have you that your life will last longer?

Who will suffer your course to be just as you plan it? Are you not ashamed to reserve for yourself only the remnant of life, and to set apart for wisdom only that time which cannot be devoted to any business? How late it is to begin to live just when we must cease to live!

What foolish forgetfulness of mortality to postpone wholesome plans to the fiftieth and sixtieth year, and to intend to begin life at a point to which few have attained!

-Seneca on the Shortness Life

Maybe life isn't short but poorly managed. Are you waiting to enjoy yourself at the end? There is no guarantee of riches just because you reach old age. Seneca and the other Stoics help me value my life and my time. It makes me less stressed to worry about only what I can control and have a system to meet it with optimism and full effort.

Without this operating system, I would still be plagued with constant worry. But I also wouldn't be using my time correctly, wishing for weekends during my weeks and dreading the week during my weekends.

Meditation

Every successful person I know of meditates, and so I started. I went into it thinking it was just woo woo nonsense. Practicing mindfulness has taught me how to observe my patterns. I can intervene when I see myself heading into a slump. Meditation has helped me live in the moment, taste each bite as I chew, and feel each breath I take in.

I consider it one of my most valuable skills, and it wires my brain to be calm and lend itself toward happier thinking. I'm more in tune with my body and an overall, more peaceful person. Peace in these times is hard to come by, but little daily habits make a difference.

I am Thankful for 2020

Okay, I said it. Despite the fires, civic unrest, the polarization, pandemic, growing poverty, and the spectacle that was the U.S election. I am thankful for 2020.

Nothing short of pure insanity would have shaken me hard enough. I can now see what is important in crystal clear focus. Remote work went from a necessity to a luxury. Reality melted, and suddenly anything is possible.

My heart breaks for the loss we've all endured this year, but we see how resilient humanity is. In these times of peril, hold close what you deem valuable. Truly nothing is guaranteed, and everything could change in an instant. But if it does, will you grab the lever of defeat? Will you stop trying? Will you give up? Or will you respond with optimism, selflessness, will you be resilient?

Even in bad times, there are little moments of light all around you.

Don't dance so fast; the music won't last.

Thank you to my friends and family for making life more fun, and the music worth dancing to.