Do You Talk to Yourself? The Science Behind Self-Talk and Its Normalcy

As the blaring of your morning alarm fills the room, you grumble to yourself, "Why on earth did I set it so early?" While mindlessly brushing your teeth, a thought pops into your head, "I desperately need a haircut... unless there's a wild alternative?" In a rush to leave, you frantically reach for your keys, only to discover they're nowhere to be found. Frustration takes hold, and you exclaim, "I can't seem to get anything right!" It's at that precise moment you spot your neighbor, catching you in the act of talking to yourself. Awkwardness washes over you since talking to oneself is often viewed as peculiar and a sign of mental instability. But fear not! Psychology research spanning decades reveals that talking to oneself is completely normal. In fact, it's a daily habit for most, if not all, of us. So why do we engage in self-talk, and does it really matter what we say?

Self-talk refers to the ongoing narration that takes place inside our minds, commonly known as inner speech. It's distinct from visualizing images or recalling information. Psychologists define self-talk as the verbalized thoughts directed toward ourselves or aspects of our lives. This encompasses personal conversations like, "I need to work on my free throw," as well as the reflections we have throughout the day, such as, "The gym is packed tonight; I'll try again tomorrow." While silent self-talk predominates in adults, it's worth noting that children often engage in vocal self-talk as they play. In the 1930s, the Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky proposed that this kind of speech was pivotal to child development. By reenacting conversations they've had with adults, children learn to manage their behaviors and emotions independently. As they mature, this outward self-talk becomes internalized, transforming into a private inner dialogue.

Undoubtedly, this internal self-talk is important. It aids in planning, navigating challenging situations, and even providing motivation throughout the day. However, studying self-talk presents challenges. Researchers must rely on study participants to consciously track a spontaneous behavior often performed without conscious control. Consequently, scientists are still working to answer fundamental questions: Why do some individuals engage in self-talk more than others? Which areas of the brain are activated during self-talk, and how does this activation differ from regular conversation? Nonetheless, one thing is certain—what we say during these conversations can genuinely impact our attitudes and performance. Engaging in self-talk that is instructional or motivational has been shown to enhance focus, boost self-esteem, and aid in tackling everyday tasks.

For instance, a study conducted with collegiate tennis players discovered that incorporating instructional self-talk during practice increased their concentration and accuracy. Just as conversing with a friend can alleviate stress, directing our words inward can also assist in emotional regulation. "Distanced self-talk" is when we talk to ourselves as if in conversation with another person. Instead of saying, "I'm going to ace this exam," we might think, "Caleb, you are well-prepared for this test!" Research indicates that this form of self-talk is particularly beneficial for reducing stress when facing anxiety-inducing tasks like meeting new people or public speaking.

However, while positive self-talk can be beneficial, negative self-talk can be detrimental. Most individuals experience occasional self-criticism, but when it becomes too frequent or overwhelmingly negative, it can become toxic. High levels of negative self-talk often predict anxiety in both children and adults. Individuals who constantly blame themselves for their problems and ruminate on negative situations typically experience more severe feelings of depression.

In response to these challenges, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has emerged as a psychological treatment focused on regulating the tone of self-talk. CBT therapists often teach strategies to identify negative thought patterns and replace them with neutral or compassionate reflections. Over time, these tools can significantly improve one's mental well-being.

So, the next time you find yourself engaging in self-conversation, remember to be kind to that inner voice. It's a lifelong companion you'll be talking to for years to come.