Delayed, part 2

The next night, Jonathan and Graydon were standing at opposite ends of the dining room, papers strewn across the dining table. The papers depicted screenshots of conversations Jonathan had with various young men, and a few pictures. In Graydon’s hand was the screenshot of the conversation between Jonathan and Max.

“I… truly…this is so much, Jonathan…” Graydon stammered, shaking his head, as he balled up his fist. “He’s a college student! A freshman!!” he exclaimed.

“He’s not a freshman! He’s incredibly smart, he started college early at seventeen.” Jonathan replied.

“Seventeen!?! Oh my fucking God. He was a minor! How is this making it better for you, Jonathan?!”

“No! He wasn’t! When we… when that happened he was eighteen.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better about this. It doesn’t matter, and you could be lying to me, anyway. You already were lying to me this whole time.”

Jonathan was getting even more frustrated now. “I’m not lying. Yes, I kept this from you until now, but it wasn’t illegal. And he wanted to. He consented. I-”

“He didn’t know any better!” Graydon was practically screaming now. “You fucking GROOMED HIM!” Graydon started crying, so full of anger and disgust. “My God, I’m going to be sick!” Graydon started to storm towards the stairs and up to the bedroom, not knowing if he should start packing his stuff, or just leave now. His body was starting to shake.

“Graydon, please, just… listen to me.” Jonathan begged as he got to the top of the steps behind Graydon. He approached him carefully, going to touch his shoulder when Graydon whipped around and pulled his arm away. Jonathan flinched at his response. “I… I am so sorry. I want…to make this right.”

“No!”

“Gray-”

“No!” Graydon barked, so viciously it scared even himself. “I’m done. I can’t even look at you anymore.”

“Please,” Jonathan begged, his voice sounding more broken.

“You can’t save this. I won’t let myself be taken advantage of by a fucking groomer anymore. I’m worth so… so much more than this.” Graydon concluded. Exhausted, disgusted, and heartbroken, he gathered some clothes from the bedroom and threw them into his backpack. Jonathan watched from the bottom of the stairs, silent now. “I’ll have someone pack the rest of my things. I don’t want to see you ever again. Goodbye, and fuck you.”

With that, Graydon went down the stairs and past Jonathan without looking at him. He grabbed his jacket and keys, going out the front door and slamming it behind him. Once he was at his car, he threw the bag and jacket inside, quickly got in and made his way down the road. Once he was a few miles into town, he turned into the parking lot of a large grocery store, into a spot where there were barely any cars nearby. He cried heavily for a long while. He paused, feeling the wedding ring that was still on his finger, and he pulled it off forcefully, tossing it in the back of his car angrily. He continued to cry for a while longer.

After taking the time to cry, he pulled himself together with some deep breaths. He looked at the clock on the car radio, noticing it was eight twenty-two PM. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts until he got to Mike’s name. He paused for a moment, fearing he would be a burden on him, asking to stay over. He didn’t know how long it’d take him to find a new place to live on such short notice, but he definitely didn’t want to burden Mike for long.

Before he could make the call, his phone rang. The caller ID showed it was Jonathan. Graydon grimaced, and after hesitating over the red “reject call” button, he finally pressed it and the phone stopped ringing. Then he dialed Mike.

It rang for a few moments, until he heard Mike pick up.

“Hey, Graydon. Everything alright?” Mike asked. Graydon knew he must’ve expected something was wrong right away, as they normally aren’t calling each other out of the blue on a weeknight.

“Um… I’m so sorry to bother you…” Graydon exhaled shakily before continuing, holding back the urge to start bawling again. “I… need a place to stay tonight.”

“Oh- okay, yeah. No problem at all, bud. Are you on your way now?”

“Yeah,” Graydon nodded as he spoke into the phone, wiping a stray tear from under his eye. “I’m so sorry.” His voice broke as more tears came.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m here for you. If you want to, we can talk more about it later, when you’re ready..” Mike consoled. “I just put my kids to bed, and we’ve got some extra food my wife made, if you’re hungry. Let me know when you’re here.”

“Okay, thank you. I really appreciate this.”

“You’re welcome. See you soon.”

__

The next morning, Graydon woke up to the smell of bacon. He was lying in bed in Mike’s guest bedroom. It was quite spacious, and well decorated too. Tones of light green, faded brown, with accents of white, from the walls to the bedspread. He wiped his eyes and nose. He cried a lot last night, trying his best to keep the sobs quiet. He had kept his phone turned off since arriving at Mike’s house last night, and suddenly worried about the time. He completely forgot about work, but knew he was not going to be able to go in today. He winced as a headache started to form.

He grabbed the phone from the nightstand and held down the power button to turn on his phone. After lighting up and loading the home screen, he noticed there were six missed calls, and ten text messages, all from Jonathan. Graydon sighed, opening his contacts list and navigating to Jonathan’s number. Without hesitation, he clicked on the three dots in the top right corner and selected “block number”, then tapped “confirm”.

As Graydon stood up from the bed, he heard footsteps approaching the door, then a *knock knock knock*.

“Yeah?”

Mike stayed behind the door, deciding not to enter in case Graydon still needed his space. “I made some breakfast, if you’re hungry. You’re not… planning to go to work today, right?”

“Yeah, I’m definitely not going to work. I’m still… processing.” Graydon said, stretching his arms above his head. He was only wearing dark blue pajama bottoms, so he grabbed his bag from next to the bed and pulled out a plain gray T-shirt and put it on. He padded over to the bedroom door, opening it to see Mike, who was already dressed for work.

“Is there anything I can get for you before I head out? My wife will be home most of today, so she’ll be around.”

“Ah… nothing right now.” Graydon replied, then briefly smiled up at him. “Thanks for breakfast, and everything, truly.”

Mike nodded. “My home is always open for you.”

Jonathan was incredibly grateful for him. It was especially comforting knowing he was on his side, supporting him, knowing that Mike knew Jonathan first. Maybe that was one good thing that came out of the relationship. Graydon remembered the first night he met Mike, when he invited Jonathan and him over for dinner. They bonded a lot that night, and their friendship strengthened from there.

He followed Mike down the hall and over to his large kitchen. There was a kitchen island in the middle with marble countertops and a sizable sink. On the countertop, there was a plate of bacon, and beside that a plate with pancakes. He could hear Mike’s young son chatting with his mother in the living room. His older daughter, a high school senior, passed by Graydon and Mike in the kitchen, grabbing some items from the fridge to pack into a lunch bag that she placed in her black backpack. She had long curly brown hair, just like her mother’s. She had her earbuds in her ears playing what sounded to be rock or metal music. As she turned, an apple in hand, she looked up at Graydon and gave a small smile before leaving the room.

“Have a good day at school, sweetheart.” Mike said.

“Thanks. See ya later.”

“And good luck on the exam!” Mike added.

“Mmhmm,” Was all she said as she continued towards the front door, taking a bite out of the apple.

“I’m really proud of her.” Mike admired as she left. “She’s already gotten a scholarship for being a STEM leader in her grade.”

“That’s awesome.” Graydon agreed. He looked down at his phone, realizing the time. “Shoot, I still have to call in.”

Mike nodded. “Okay. I’m about to head out myself, but feel free to text me if you need anything.”

“Sure. Thanks.” Graydon replied. After Mike left, Graydon ate his breakfast in their dining room while Mike’s wife and son stayed in the living room. Before long, they both had got up, seeming to also get ready to leave. Mike’s son, Keith, stood in the doorway to the dining room.

“Hi, Mr.-”

“Hey, buddy,” Graydon interrupted. “You know, you can just call me Graydon.”

“Graydon?”

“Yeah, my name is Graydon. You don’t have to call me Mr. anymore.”

“Oh, okay.” Keith responded.

“Keith?” His mother called out from the kitchen. “Come on over and pick out a snack for your lunch, please.”

“Coming!” Keith exclaimed, quickly turning and walking over toward the pantry.

Graydon then ate the last few bites of his pancake, scrolling through NPR news on his phone to distract him.

—

A week later, while Graydon was at work, he scrolled through a webpage with apartment postings. He had another tab open with price listings for storage units. He didn’t want his stuff sitting where he used to call home for any longer, but everything was so expensive these days. His desk phone rang. From the caller ID he could see it was the front desk receptionist.

“Hi Graydon, how are you?” She greeted, warmly.

“I’m okay.” He answered. He hadn’t told anyone about what had happened, but some people already had suspicions, he feared.

“There’s an envelope here that was dropped off for you.”

“Oh?” Graydon responded, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion for a moment before he started to worry. “Who left the envelope?”

“It was just the postman, but it doesn’t have a return address.”

“Uh… okay. I’ll come take a look.”

He walked over to the lobby, grabbing the nine-by-twelve-inch sized manilla envelope from her as she smiled up at him. He investigated the exterior of the envelope. Graydon’s name with the company address was printed on it instead of being handwritten. It was pretty hefty, like a stack of documents. He thanked the receptionist and started to walk back towards his desk, but stopped along the way to duck into an empty conference room. After sitting down in one of the chairs at the table, he pulled the papers out from the envelope. There was a typed letter on top, with what appeared to be a few forms underneath it. He quickly eyed down the short letter.

“Graydon,

The house is yours. The paperwork is all here, with contact info for the offices and such listed on the sheet after this letter. There’s also divorce papers here, ready for you to sign. Your family and your job is here, so I will just leave. You don’t have to talk to or see me again. I left everything that was yours and all the furniture in the house, keys in the same box in the back where the spare one is. You deserve someone better, so the least I can do now is this. I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused.”

Graydon sighed heavily. He was deeply saddened and relieved at the same time. While this all didn’t make up for what Jonathan did, it helped make the break easier. He was glad he truly wouldn’t have to speak to him again, but he felt weird about going back to the house they had previously called home together. Would it ever feel like his house, not the place he moved into with his soon-to-be ex-husband? The place once laden with promise of a life together as one, a life of love and trust?

He thought it over for a while, looking over the papers left for him. After another few moments, he texted Mike to meet him in the conference room. Mike was at the door shortly after.

“Hey… oh, what’s this?” Mike asked as he stepped in and closed the door behind him, looking over the documents spread out in front of Graydon.

“He… he basically left me everything. Including divorce papers.”

“Oh, wow.” Mike replied. “No fight for it, either? He just gave it all up?”

Graydon nodded slowly. “So… I have something to ask you.”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Graydon started putting all the papers back together, stacking them neatly. “Do you think you could help me repaint?” He asked. “I… I don’t know what I want to do with the house, if I even want to keep it, but… painting it right now, at least, will help bring me some sort of…” Graydon paused, thinking. “Well… I don’t know how to describe it. I just feel like it’ll help me right now.”

Mike was nodding now. “Of course, I can help wherever you need me. Hey, I’ll tell you what, we can make it a group project if you'd like. My kids liked helping out with painting when we updated our house a few years ago.”

Graydon stuffed the now neatly stacked papers back into the envelope. “Hm, yeah, I think that sounds like a good idea.”

—

1 year later

Inside a crowded local chain coffee shop, Graydon stood leaned against a wall near the order pick up area. It was a small shop. He desperately wanted out of there but needed his caffeine, and it was one of the best coffee places in town, possibly even the state.

“Medium pumpkin spice latte for Grayson?” Graydon heard a young barista call. She had faded pink hair over blonde roots that hadn’t been touched up in probably six months if he had to guess.

After waiting a few moments to see if anyone else came up, Graydon sighed and turned her way. “It’s Graydon.”

“Oh, sorry. Medium pumpkin spice latte, with almond milk, right?”

“Yeah, thanks” He said with a forced smile. It’s not that he was annoyed at her, just that he was very much done with the day before it even began. Latte in hand, he quickly made his way out of the shop and walked down the street towards the train station.

After he lived in the house alone for a few months, he realized it was too big and felt like it would always be the house they got together, and knew it’d never felt like just his and his alone. So he sold it, and managed to get it sold quickly too. He decided that, for now, the best thing for him would be to get a decent apartment that was closer to the city. It would give him the option to take the train to work, and overall would be a good change of scenery for him.

Maybe it was his way of starting over again, he thought, or at least something to help him distance himself from everything that happened.

He also wasn’t talking to Mike as much these days. He was so tired after work, barely motivated to do much but eat dinner, then play some game or scroll social media on his phone mindlessly. He used to read books before bed but that, too, had seemed abandoned. He would try to start reading again every few months, but then completely forget about it, going back into his routine of food-phone-bed.

A few weeks ago, one of his new neighbors from the apartment building, Chase, invited him to join them at the bar after work on a Friday night. In a last minute decision, Graydon decided to go. He had been feeling a bit better that day and thought he deserved to go out and have fun, see where the night takes him. They bought him quite a few drinks, and before long Graydon was drunk and having a grand time. One thing led to another and he ended up sleeping with Chase that night. They both agreed it was a casual thing, which gave Graydon a lot of relief. He wasn’t ready for anything serious, not for what felt like a very long time. They had chatted for a bit the morning after, and one thing stuck in Graydon’s head from that morning.

“You know, if you really want a little something to take the edge off, I have a guy…”

“A… guy?” Graydon asked, a bit nervous.

Chase chuckled lightly. “You know, like, a dealer…”

“Oh…” Graydon replied. He let the silence linger between them. He was hesitant about the idea of doing any kind of drug, even just something as minor as weed. He barely smoked any in college, as he realized he didn’t like it. But at the same time, he felt like he did need a little something to help. He knew there were probably better options for him, but right now, he had an opportunity. Something different he could try.

“No pressure. It’s up to you.” Chase finally said.

He said he’d think about it, and he really did. He decided it was time for him to finally start feeling something different, so he texted them after dwelling over it for the last few weeks.

Graydon: Okay, I’m ready. Tell me about this “guy”.

—

Graydon was parked near one of the outer edges of the parking lot of a shopping plaza. It was one near his old house. Being that it was just about closing time for most of the stores, it wasn’t very busy. A car pulled up a few spaces over from him, and he matched it to the description from the text he received from the dealer. Out stepped a skinny blonde male from the car, wearing a light blue sweater with jeans and looked like he was in his early twenties. His blonde hair was messy but in the way most people saw as charming, somehow.

Graydon now got out of his car, turning towards the blonde man.

“Grayson?” The blonde asked as he walked around to the trunk of his car.

“Uh, it’s Graydon,”

“Oh, sorry dude.” He apologized, then opened the trunk. “So, do you have something particular in mind?”

“I need something to take the edge off. Just… something low dose for now.”

“Sure, dude. I got you covered.” He went through the items in the trunk discreetly, then pulled out what appeared to be an opaque candle jar. Discreet packaging, Graydon thought. “This should do the trick.” The blonde said. “Just stick to one at a time for now to ease into it. Sound good?”

Graydon nodded. “How much?”

“Just thirty bucks for a friend of a friend.”

Graydon reached into his wallet and pulled out the cash. He wasn’t sure how much to expect, so he brought way more than thirty dollars, just in case. He handed over the thirty bucks, and was then handed over the “candle” jar with the pills inside.

“Enjoy,” The blonde simply said, giving a quick wave before he stepped back into his car and drove off.

Graydon looked down at the jar. He inspected it for a moment before carefully placing it inside a small paper bag he had in the passenger seat, then shoved it under the seat, just in case. He hopped in the driver’s seat, turning up the radio before pulling out of the parking spot to head home.

__

The next day, Graydon decided he’d invite Chase over while he took the pills. He realized he didn’t want to do it alone. Chase came over with a few IPAs.

“I brought these mainly for me, by the way, I know you probably won’t want them when you're-” Chase gestured upwards as to indicate getting high. He walked over to Graydon’s couch.

“Yeah,” Graydon agreed as he closed his apartment door behind him. “Not ready to cross fade right away…”

“There was one time I did that with something else, with another buddy of mine. He was fine, but I was really tripping. Fucking tequila.” They shook their head. They then put the small box of IPAs down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch, getting comfortable.

Graydon walked over to his bedroom where he had the pills on top of his dresser. He pulled out one pill from the baggie and walked back into the living room. Chase had just cracked open one of the IPAs and was scrolling through shows on Netflix. Graydon got himself settled on the couch next to them, looking down to the pill in his hand. Chase looked over and gave him an encouraging smile.

“Ready?” Chase asked.

“Here goes… something.” Graydon said before he popped it into his mouth, grabbing the glass of water he left on the coffee table in front of them. He swallowed it down with a gulp of water. Chase already had their attention turned back to the TV screen, still scrolling.

After an episode of some silly dating reality show, Graydon could feel it start to kick in. He was energized, a little euphoric. He started giggling about something Chase said. Not even five minutes into the next reality show episode, he sprung up from the couch and asked Chase if he wanted to go for a walk with him.

“I want to smell the way the fresh air is while I’m feeling this good!”

Chase nodded, now getting up and grabbing Graydon’s house keys. “Sure, G, let’s go for a walk then.”

They walked aimlessly around the block in circles, laughing about various things and Graydon contemplating the universe aloud. Eventually, Graydon decided he wanted to go back inside, now declaring he wanted to bake Chase a cake. Chase laughed at this. They headed back to the apartment building and up to the second floor.

“Boy, you told me yourself you are not a good baker!” They said, opening up Graydon’s front door for him.

“But you see, the thing is,” He began as he stepped inside and immediately turned towards the kitchen. “I haven’t been inspired enough to try it. You, Chase… you inspire me.”

“My, I am so flattered. But, maybe another time” Chase responded, going over to where Graydon had now stopped in the kitchen. Graydon turned towards them and pouted. “I would rather you try baking when you’re not baked yourself…”

“Ugh. Party killer…” Graydon sighed.

Chased laughed, booping his nose. “You’ll thank me when you wake up to an apartment that’s not a disaster.”

“Fine. But, now how will we entertain each other?”

“Hmm…” Chase thought for a moment, looking toward the living room area. “Aha! I want to see how your skills are now in a game of Mario Kart!”

Graydon smirked at this. “You’re on!”

They gamed for what felt like hours, with even more giggling then on their walk. After one of their games, Graydon leaned his head on Chase’s shoulder. “You’re so fun, you know.” Graydon said softly. To this, Chase turned their head to face him, pulled his chin up to look into his eyes.

“And you’re quite cute, giggling like that, you know.” Chase said before leaning into a kiss. Graydon accepted it enthusiastically, but as the kiss deepened further, he paused and pulled away.

“Oh,” Chase paused. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah, I just… I don’t want to go farther than kissing tonight, while I’m like this…” Graydon admitted, looking away. He was starting to feel himself getting sober, but he was still high and didn’t feel right about having sex at that time.

“That’s totally fine. We can still chill. Or if you need me to leave, whatever you need.” Chase said genuinely.

Graydon smiled up at them. “I still want you to stay. We can cuddle too.”

Chase smiled back. “I like that.”

The next morning, Graydon woke up next to Chase. Chase asked him how he felt. He remembered the whole night and said he had a good time. It was really nice for him to just not think about being sad, almost the whole night. Chase told him that any time he needed a “chill time” buddy, he could ask them. After a little while, Chase headed back to their own apartment.

__

A few months had passed by, and Mike had noticed Graydon was missing work more than usual. He sent him a few texts, but Graydon always responded with short replies just saying he was sick or had a migraine but he was fine, and that he was starting to feel a little better but the breakup was still hard on him. On some of the days Graydon was out, Mike would hear some of their coworkers talking about how he was slacking, missing meetings or having assignments go overdue much more frequently. Some were gossiping too, which Mike would shut down whenever he could. While Mike didn’t talk to him as much these days, he knew Graydon was still dealing with feelings from the breakup and wanted to defend him. At the same time, he was starting to grow concerned, as he knew Graydon for usually being better about his assignments. He decided later that week he was going to drop by for a visit. He texted him on Friday saying he wanted to bring him some soup his wife had made. After about an hour, he got a text back from Graydon.

Graydon: You don’t have to. Thanks though.

Mike: I insist. Her soup really is the best, you remember, don’t you?

Another hour passed before he got a response.

Graydon: Alright, sure. You can come by tomorrow.

That next day, Mike pulled up to Graydon’s apartment complex with a clear tupperware container with homemade chicken broccoli soup. Exiting his car and walking into the lobby, he buzzed Graydon’s apartment number. He waited for a long while, but there was no answer. Mike checked his watch, then buzzed again, pressing the button down for longer this time. After another long moment, Mike heard Graydon’s voice coming through the intercom, but he sounded off.

“H-hello?”

“Graydon, hey, did you forget I was coming by today?”

“Shit,” Mike heard him say quietly. “Sorry, yeah. Just one sec.”

Eventually, the door buzzed and Mike made his way into the hallway, heading up the stairs to the second floor apartments. He got up to Graydon’s door and knocked. A moment later, Graydon was at the door, only opening it partially. “Hey, Mike. Sorry, I just totally forgot about this. These migraines have been a bit more rough recently.” Graydon was still in his pajamas, his hair disheveled and he couldn't seem to keep his eyes focused on anything for longer than a moment. He then looked down to the soup in Mike’s hands before smiling. “Ah, yes, the chicken broccoli soup. It looks great.”

“Yeah…” Mike started, noticing he still had the door only open slightly. “Could I come in for a moment?”

“Uh, honestly, it’s really messy in here, I’m sorry I forgot you were coming, but I’m not really in the best state to have anyone else- I mean- anyone over.” Graydon said, and Mike could tell he wasn’t being fully honest.

“I…just want to make sure you’re okay. You’ve been a little distant and-” Mike began.

“G, you got some more toothpaste?” Another voice interrupted from inside Graydon’s apartment.

Mike’s eyebrows raised.

Graydon’s face filled with panic and embarrassment as his head quickly turned toward Chase, and he let the door go without realizing. Mike could see inside a slightly messy interior. There were dirty dishes and bakeware on the countertops, a half eaten cake on the kitchen table with paper plates that had remnants of the cake frosting and crumbs on it. A couple of articles of clothing were draped on the couch or on the floor of the living room. As Mike looked up to follow the voice, he saw the person unfamiliar to him, with blue dyed short hair, a tank top and oversized gray shorts.

“Um, I’m sorry,” Mike said, looking past Graydon at them. “Who are you?”

“Who are you?” Chase asked back, then scoffed, raised an eyebrow and looked towards a still speechless Graydon. “Graydon, who the fuck is this guy?”

Mike ignored the question and looked back at Graydon. “Maybe I should-”

“Chase, can you give us a moment?” Graydon suddenly interrupted.

“O-oh,” Chase said, looking between the two of them. “Uh, I guess I can go back to my apartment, then.” They grabbed their phone and keys from the kitchen counter and walked past Mike, pausing for a moment to look back at him before going down the hall to their apartment.

Graydon pulled on Mike’s arm, saying “Just get in here,” as Mike saw Chase shrug before turning to walk down the hall to another unit.

After getting inside the apartment, Graydon closed the door quickly. He paused for a moment, a bewildered look in his eyes, then quickly walked over to the fridge to get a cold water.

“Graydon, what the hell is going on? And who…who was that?”

Graydon was still mid-sip as Mike asked this, and Mike’s eyes looked over to the counter on the left, where he saw a baggie with a few pills in it. He walks closer to the counter.

“Graydon, what is this?”

Graydon’s eyes darted down to the forgotten pills, then looked back up with horror and shame. “Fuck…Mike… I-”

“Graydon, I… I thought you were getting better. I just… I want to help, I’m not going to judge,”

“Okay, but it kind of sounds like you are judging me, though…” Graydon remarked.

“I… I am just processing, okay?” Mike commented, some shock in his voice. He never would have thought Graydon would turn to something like this. “Please, Graydon let me help.”

“I’m fine.” Graydon quickly defended.

“You’re not!” Mike barked at him. Graydon was quiet. “Listen, people at work have been noticing you being absent and… I don’t want you to lose this job. More importantly, I don’t want to lose you to this.” Mike said, gesturing towards the pills.

“Is that guy-”

“They’re non-binary.” Graydon quickly corrected.

“...Is that person your dealer, or?” Mike asked.

“No, they’re not. Not really,”

“Graydon,” Mike questioned in a gentle tone.

“They’re not, I promise. They just got me the contact info for… my dealer.” Graydon sighed. “Listen, this all has been really hard on me, more than I let on before. I just wanted something to take the edge off.” Graydon paused, running his hands through his messy hair as he took a deep breath. “That was my neighbor, Chase, that you saw. They were just…they’re friendly and…” Graydon sighed again, pausing once more to try and find the words.

Mike simply stood there patiently. “It’s okay. Take your time.”

After a moment, Graydon continued. “I wanted to connect with someone who didn’t know about my past. They don’t ask questions.” He then turned towards Mike. “You’re my best friend, but you were so close to everything that happened and you already did so much for me. But…I wasn’t trying to distance myself from you. I was just spiraling and felt like I needed to do something different.”

“Okay. I hear you.” Mike spoke. There was a moment of quiet between them before Mike spoke again. “So, are you and Chase dating..?”

“No, no, we just… fuck sometimes. Mostly just hanging out, and well,” Graydon got quiet. “We sometimes use together.”

“Oh.” Mike responded. “Do…you feel like Chase is a bad influence?”

“No.” Graydon answered quickly, but honestly. “They listen to me. If I don’t want to do anything, they give me my space. They don’t ask me to get high with them. I ask them, whenever I’ve been feeling lonely… or when I think about him…”

Mike nodded, taking in the information. “Graydon, I care about you a lot. I want to see you do your best. Let me help you where I can.” After a long pause, Graydon nodded. “I want to help you into rehab.”

“Oh, God,” Graydon remorsed, putting his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Mike.” He cried into his hands, and Mike approached and gave him a hug. Graydon held onto him. “I’m so broken,”

“You’re not broken.” Mike consoled. “You just need some help. And that’s okay.”

__

Present day

Graydon woke up to the sound of his phone buzzing. In his new apartment, he turned over in his bed to look at the caller ID.

“Shit” He grunted, realizing he forgot to set an alarm again. His new boyfriend was calling him. He picked up the phone. “Hey, you.” He said, his voice low and gravelly from sleep.

“Oh, darling, you forgot to set the alarm again, huh?”

“I’m sorry, Matt. But I promise I can still be ready on time. I don’t want to miss this.”

“Mmhmm. You better not make us miss this damn bus, boy!” Matt teased, but Graydon could feel the eye roll even through the phone.

“Hush. I’ve got it. I’ll see you soon.” Graydon responded.

“‘Kay. See you, boo.” Matt said before Graydon heard the *doot doot* signaling the call ending. He quickly washed his face, brushed his teeth, and changed into a nice pair of gray jeans and a pale-green button-up shirt, checking himself out in the mirror. Once he was satisfied with the look, he went into the kitchen to grab a granola bar and banana, making his way towards the front door and waited for Matt’s text. Soon after, he got the anticipated text from Matt letting him know he had arrived.

Together they drove over to the bus station parking lot, arriving in time to make their bus into the big city. They went to see a live theater performance, one of Matt’s favorite plays. Some of Matt’s friends also acted in it, too. As Matt and Graydon’s relationship began developing, Graydon grew to enjoy theater shows more.

After the show, they took the bus back to the station and drove back to Graydon’s place to spend the night together. Since Graydon had only recently moved in, he was still unpacking some things. His new apartment was still close to the city, but it was a nicer apartment building that he could now afford, thanks to his new job.

There were a few boxes left throughout the apartment. He also had a cat now, a sweet middle-aged gray tabby cat. While she was usually more lazy, tonight she was more playful so Graydon and Matt were tossing a mouse toy while sitting on the floor in the bedroom, letting her fetch it and see if she’d return them. She returned most of the tosses, but one landed in a box near the closet door. Matt walked over to retrieve it as the cat and Graydon watched him. When he reached for the toy, he accidentally caught the mouse toy’s tail in the spiral binding of a journal that was sitting on top of the stack in the box.

“Oh woops, got caught,” Matt apologized, trying to free the toy. The notebook started to open and Matt could see handwriting inside, and realized it was a personal journal. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Graydon said. He got up and walked over to retrieve the journal, putting it into his desk drawer.

As they both sat back down on the floor, the cat had now gotten disinterested in playtime, yawning before curling up into her favorite spot on Graydon’s bed, right in the very middle.

“So, you like journaling?” Matt asked.

Graydon nodded. “But it’s more like my therapy, now.”

“Hmm,” Matt spoke, nodding in approval. “That’s a good thing to have.”

Graydon nodded too. “I went through a lot of shit before we met… I started journaling about it, which I hated at first, but then it did actually help, so I kept doing it. And, honestly, I’m still recovering…”

“That’s… that’s really amazing. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been.” Matt said. They both were quiet for a while. “I’m still working on things from my past, too.”

“Maybe we’re all a little broken” Graydon stopped and shook his head, now rephrasing it “-no… rather, a little messed up. But at least we’re working on it.” Graydon remarked.

Matt nodded. After a moment, Graydon got up with Matt following, getting themselves comfortable in Graydon’s bed. Matt reached up to Graydon’s hand and kissed it, giving Graydon a big smile. Suddenly, a phone buzzed. They both looked over at their respective phones on the nightstand, and Matt saw his phone was the one buzzing. He grabbed it and looked at the message.

“Oh, looks like my sister’s flight got delayed, so we get to sleep in in the morning now.” Matt announced.

“Hmm. Well,” Graydon started, then paused as he looked towards the desk drawer where the journal rested now. Hearing a flight delay reminded him of him, but with Matt in the room and therapy on his mind, he felt more okay than he usually did from memories of the time before. He mentally noted this, and smiled to himself. “It’ll be nice to sleep in.” He finally responded before giving Matt a kiss goodnight.