Dating with kids

So now you are divorced or separated, and now you are ready to get back into the dating world. Congrats. No matter what your situation is for the separation or divorce, you have to get back on your feet. Now whether you are ready straight out of the gate or if you have waited for years to get back out there, one thing that you have to remember is the fact that you have kids. Of course it's about the kids, that's what this whole blog is about isn't it? But fear not, I am here to help you with the situation and hopefully I can give some advice both based on my experience and my opinion. There are going to be a few things that you are going to have to remember when you are out looking for the next person to share your life with. Now all of this is going to be for whether you have your kids full time or if you just get them every other weekend like I do. You might ask yourself, if I don't have them full time, then why do I need to worry about all of this. Well even if you do not have your kids full time, you still need to pay attention because no matter what, your kids are a part of your life and they play a big role in the rest of your life!

Let's get you out there first…

I mean there is no reason for this blog if you are not going to be getting out there and trying to find someone right? You might as well go read my other blogs and leave this one alone. But if you are wanting to get back out into the dating world then we need to get you ready. Get a haircut, shave that beard that you have been growing this whole time or leave it, (I've heard that there are plenty of women out there that like beards), get yourself some new clothes or whatever you need to do to clean yourself up and make yourself presentable. You can't get a date looking like a slob unless you can find someone that is into all of that. You cleaning yourself up also lets your kids know that you are serious about all of this. Which brings up the next topic of talking to your kids about dating again….

Have a conversation with your kids before dating…

Now it might not seem like a very important topic to discuss but believe me, it is possibly the single most important one. Sit your kids down and talk to them about dating again. You would be surprised to find out that they are very opinionated about the issue. Unless you have young ones that are too young to understand the issue, then it is ok to not have a talk to them about it. But the older kids will have a very strong opinion about it and if the first initial talk doesn't go well, don't give up hope. They will come around. Just talk to them and let them know that you are going to have to find someone for you and them. But no matter the situation of the divorce or separation, never and I mean NEVER say that you are trying to replace their mother. That does nothing but make things look bad.

Now that the TALK is over…

Now you have the approval of the kids….Great!! Now what? What kind of person are you into? Don't answer with someone that is going to upset your EX. Wrong move. Don't go with the sister or best friend. That's not going to look good. Be the better person and just move on. All those decisions are going to do is upset the kids and that's the last thing that they need at this time. No, find you someone that is going to be there for you and that also LIKES kids. There are a few out there that don't like kids and all that's going to do is put a lot of pressure on the kids. If they are going to be okay with you dating again, then they are going to have to be a part of the decision making process for the next woman in your life. Even if you don't have them full time and only get them on alternating weekends, they are still going to have to spend a weekend with this person and if the person doesn't like kids then that is going to be a very long weekend and you will soon notice that they will not want to be there no matter what. So find someone that is into kids and wants to spend as much time with them as they want to spend with you. If you're lucky enough to find someone that wants to do stuff with you as well as the kids from the get go then that is the best person that you could get. And don't get me wrong, I know that everyone has their own types, and they really don't want to veer away from that type but just try and find someone that is into kids.

All in all guys,

I am not telling you that you have to give up your happiness for the kids. I am not saying that at all. I am merely saying that you have to think about their happiness as well when deciding who you are going to have for a partner. Their lives are still a part of yours and you don't want to upset them would you?