Dating Single Moms in Ukraine : Should You Do It?

We can’t always choose who we fall in love with. Oftentimes, our brain and heart simply don’t agree with each other. We just see a person and decide that we like them. A lot.

We all have certain criteria for the women we date. We have that image in our heads, that of our ideal woman. Some visualize being with blondes, others see themselves with the girl-next-door type.

But oftentimes we end up falling for someone who doesn’t fit our description, at least on paper.

So they fall in love anyway.

But there are times when people find what they think is love, they realize they got it wrong and walk away. But sometimes, when they walk away, they do so with quite a bit of baggage. And sometimes, that baggage can come in the form of a whole, if tiny, person that she grew herself with a bit of help from her ex.

This whole other person, or persons if there’s more than one, is going to be a complication to a romantic relationship. After all, they’re going to be your significant other’s priority. She’s biologically programmed to want to take care of them, after all. Which means that you’re going to be second place at best.

Being a single mom can be pretty prevalent in Ukraine. Ukraine has a pretty low life expectancy and the gender imbalance can lead to men having the option of being with more than one woman. But this same gender imbalance can make it easy for men dating Ukraine women to succeed. But they’ll sometimes come with a little bit more than just themselves.

Understand her priorities

When you’re dating someone, you’re generally pretty high on their list of priorities. They’ll respond to your texts. They’ll carve out time in their schedule to meet with you. They’ll call you just so they can hear the sound of your voice.

But that might not be the case with a single mother. They won’t be able to respond to your text messages because her kid might be acting up. She may not be able to go out with you because she has a PTA meeting or her kid is sick. She might be too exhausted at the end of the day to give you a call.

Long story short, she may not have that much time or energy to devote to you because she has to devote that time and energy to a person whose survival hinges upon that time and energy. So you’re going to have to be understanding if she can’t always be your partner because she has to be some kid’s mother. But that limitation is part and parcel of her life.

If you understand and accept that you’re not gonna’ be top dog when it comes to her priorities and want to stay anyway, you’re going to have to learn to be supportive. A single mom doesn’t just date because she wants a boyfriend, she also dates because she wants that boyfriend to be a partner to her and a stepdad to her kid(s).

Be supportive to your partner. You may even have to step in and be a dad to a kid that’s not yours.

Get along with her kids

Now, assuming that you love a woman enough that you’re willing to be a distant second to her kid, you’re still going to have to get along with the kid in question. Because if they don’t like you, she might have to break up with you because the kid is her top priority.

Now, you could spend time with the kid(s) and get to know them. Maybe you can try football, which is the most popular sport in Ukraine. Maybe you bond over that. But failing that, you can always just try bribing them.

Give them new toys, clothes, devices, or even just straight up cash. If you can’t win their approval, then buy it. Is it a cheap tactic? Yes. Is it cheap? Not likely. Is it fair? All’s fair in love and war, so yes.

Get along with her ex or baby daddy

Another person that you’re going to have to get along with, if they’re still in the picture, is her ex or whoever it was that sired her child. Some guys will father a child and then they won’t stick around to be fathers.

Now, if they do stick around to be dads, you’re going to have to get along with them because they got a right to know who is going to be in their kid(s)’s life. There’s also custody. If you want to marry his ex and take her and her kid(s) back home to your country, you may have to get him to agree to that.

So show him that you want what’s best for his kid(s), that taking them to live with you is the best shot they got at finding happiness and success. Convince him to give you his approval and essentially give up his child(ren).

Have a look at what you want

It is not easy to marry a single mom. A break-up isn't going to affect just two people, the kid(s) will also be adversely affected. In order to date a single mom, you need to be sure that you are ready to be a parent to her child (children).

Getting married and then later deciding that you're not interested in being a stepfather isn't fair to you, her, or the child(ren). As both a stepdad and husband, you need to make sure you are prepared for your responsibilities.

You've got to make sure that you're up to the task of completing those two things, since it will require your best effort. Not just for your sake, but also for the sake of those who rely on you.

There are many forms of love and family. It is common for men to marry a woman and then procreate. However, some guys find themselves happy by getting married to a woman who is already a parent.

Read more relationship advice about dating foreign women at kievwomen.com/blog/.