Cutting Cords, Tying Knots

Although I've always loved to get down on any sort of craft session, I recently took up the art of macramé (hippie power) as a way to deal with my trichotillomania. For those who don’t know, "trich" is a body focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) which means that I pull out my hair when I'm stressed or anxious. It’s actually very common and is akin to skin picking and nail biting.

If you pay close attention, I'd be willing to bet that someone you personally know deals with this disorder in some way. It's pretty hard for a lot of us to talk about it because we are usually riddled with shame or embarrassment. But really, aren't we all embarrassed about something? I know it took me years before I was able to openly share my struggles with anyone.

One of most effective ways to fight trich is to keep those fingers occupied when anxious, which means a lot of canasta, silly putty, Rubik's cubes, and other similar activities.

As part of my fidget filled endeavors, I've been trying new crafts and art forms for as long as I can remember. I discovered that all of the cutting cords (macrame means using scissors or rotary cutters to repeatedly cut many, MANY lengths of cord. I even had to spring for the expensive scissors) and tying knots involved in macrame keeps my hands busy, which is so helpful for me when I want to prevent the pulling. Working and re-working hundreds of knots requires strong fingers. And anyone who deals with trich will tell you we have strong, well-exercised digits from grabbing and pulling at tiny hairs all the time. It's somehow like this BFRB set me up to be really good at my craft. Silver linings AF. What started as a simple distraction for my fingers, quickly became some sort of new-found freedom for my creativity. I love to make wall hangings and plant hangers (because who doesn't love a cute little plant guy?) but I try to learn how to make new things every week. Thank you, YouTube. Bags? Yes. Earrings? Sure. Suspenders? I don't know why, but you know what, why not? If you can think of it, I can probably teach myself how to make it. I'm currently attempting to design and construct a rainbow macrame hanger to hold a disco ball. I'm a knot-tying fool at this point.

I'm also a believer in Animism: the idea that objects, places, and creatures all possess a distinct spiritual essence and that all things—animals, bodies of water, plants, and even HUMAN HANDIWORK (like mine) is animated and alive. I get an incredible amount of joy from infusing my pieces with the good energy and healing that this craft brings me. I'm extremely lucky that I somehow stumbled across a macrame Instagram post one day and decided that it was going to be my new thing. Because it's perfect for me. I probably won't be a macramé artist for the rest of my life. Maybe it'll come and go for me just like it did for America in the '70s, but it's totally what my soul needs at this time.

Sharing my work with people has also made it a million times easier for me to open up to others about my anxiety issues, and in turn, pass the healing on to them. By definition, this might not be "art therapy," but it's the most beautiful therapy that I've ever been a part of. And I think if I play my cards right and have a good support system, I might be slowly able to turn it into my first small business. Which means I'm the therapist now, right? So, when can I start charging hundreds per hour...?