“You will evolve past certain people. Let yourself.” ― Mandy Hale
She has (or had) an enormous house, filled with the most exquisite furniture. It sets on the absolute biggest acreage, (her words not mine) best relationship advice (her current status: divorced for the second or third time) and is the most educated person you ever encountered (inserts same random large words into conversations). She thrives thinking she is the best. Always on her A game. She is, Competition Friend.
Competition friend is always prettier than you, has more money, and is popular. She is at the top of her game. In reality and upon closer inspection, her life is usually a mess. You realize her Malibu dream house is a façade. She lives in a world of delusion where the only thing spurring her on is stepping on others backs so that she can reign supreme as, queen of the day.
Now there is nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, but you know when competition friend is getting out of control, she cannot talk about anything but comparing your lives. She also tears down anything you have going, in order to prop her own ego up.
“I am so glad I don’t try to keep up with the Robinson’s,” I once had a friend joke because we had just bought a new television, or something or other. Funny side joke, maybe, but when someone mentions this sort of jest more than once they are having a mental competition. In a world busy with so many different options and directions to proceed, why in the world would you want to compete?
A very odd competition friend that I had, thankfully for a very short time, would constantly be in competition with me. It was over the weirdest things. If I bought Kelly Clarkson concert tickets, she would. Her seats would have to, of course, be better. If I was going to a basketball game, she would tell me she was a season ticket holder. She claimed she would eventually take me to a game, and we could watch from her, "baller seats."
Never happened of course.
I didn’t or wouldn’t care if she did have the best season tickets to her favorite team. I am not a hater. Sadly, some can only operate on the hopes of jealously in another. Not going to happen here; that is not my style.
Competition friends focus leading the pack, that they seldom realize that they are actually being left behind. Slowly you evolve past their games and tactics and are drawn towards friends that celebrate your success without having to one up it. Thankfully the more experience you have with this personality type, the quicker you will learn to walk away.
When they realized they cannot compete with you, often they will try to compete with other friends. This can be a last ditch effort for you to keep them around. They will try to show you they are the, best friend. Most likely you didn’t even think of them as a best friend at all, just someone you randomly came in contact with and struck up a friendship.
The craziest Competition friend I met was from a mutual friend at a bacholrette party. One year after we met she was planning me a huge Birthday surprise get a way.
Seems nice, but, it was doing all the things that she liked that were better than my interests. Her favorite cupcake spot, that was better than my favorite shop. The city where she felt was more exciting than my typical stomping grounds. She wanted the day to just be me and her, competing for my time. A test to see if I could give her more time than more established friendships in my life. In the end, the entire day was a competition, for me to grant her the prize of the best friend, best picks, best choices.
Less than one week later the friendship fizzled out. My response was thankfulness for the day, but I did not go over the moon as she expected. Declaring her my best friend for life. Casting all others aside.
Eventually they will get tired, running a race non stop is exhausting, and unrewarding when there is no prize to be won. They will exit your life usually as fast as they entered, and search for someone else that shares the competition mindset.
Running a race against yourself is no fun, and I am no runner. Seriously, if you see me run, follow.
Something is dreadfully wrong.
I hope you enjoyed this edition of, “Why I Have no Friends.” To catch up on other editions please click the links below.
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