Doesn't Know Their Audience

This is for all those poor souls that might not even realize that it is a problem, to not know their audience. First off, let me say, I can be really dreadful at this. I have been working on when to dial parts of my personality down while also remaining true to myself. Nothing is worse than losing yourself or pretending to be someone you are not. Talking to people about things they have no idea or interest in tough, is pretty darn awful too.

There are several ways a friend can reveal that they do not know your audience. These are a few of my pet peeves, but I am sure we can all think of many more.

Wrong Voice

Is your friend a preschool teacher, lawyer, doctor, high executive and brings that voice into your conversations? Oh, how I hate this. I cannot stand it when I have the feeling that someone is using their, mommy voice, or, work voice, with me. Work voice is the worst. When this happens I want to crawl through the phone, smack them. Instead of resorting to violence; I try my best to be myself and not get sucked into having a conversation that feels more like an interview or job review.

When I had a preschool voice acquaintance in the past my husband would always joke that she was a serial killer and using that voice to suck in her victims.

“Oh does that hurt?” she smiles and asks while she stabs you in the back.

Speaking of such, she did actually stab me in the back and pretend to be sweet as pie the entire time. No wonder I am so freaked out by the sugary sweet voices of women who talk to adults like we are a toddler or a small puppy.

I am not into that...

Sounds kinky, but it is not that sort of thing. No, I am more referring to those that love to update you on their hobby or interests when you could care less. Not the casual update on a hobby or interest, but someone who can only talk about one thing and doesn’t realize you are not into that, at all. Probably clueless about what they are talking about.

I am not into superheroes, comic con, or anything of that world. I have many friends that are. I love hearing about their new cosplay or convention, to an extent, of course. All of my current friends know this. I am not trying to be rude, but if you are going to talk about the ninth and tenth doctors and expect me to follow along. You are wrong, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

We have all been that person. Super excited about something going on in our lives that we cannot shut up about it. Just remember to take a breather, check your listener's pulse, and know when it is time to move on. They will be forever grateful when you stop and ask them what is new and then actually listen without bringing the conversation back to yourself. It is amazing what this can do for a friendship when someone takes a moment to remember their audience. Save the Doctor Who debate for fellow Whovians, that’s a thing right?

I have some friends that are really into shopping. We can go on and on about something we saw in a magazine or the new Nordstrom catalog, while I have other friends that do not know the difference between Michael Kors or Marc Jacobs. They actually forever call their Michael Kors shoes, Marc Jacobs. If you are into fashion, you see the problem here. If not, then move along. I am not talking to you about shoes. It’s not that you cannot be your shopping self with your Michael Kors shoe friend (I have Michael Kors shoes also, I am not hating) it is just you don’t need to go on and on about it because it is not something they are passionate about and there are so many other topics that you can talk about with them.

For a while everyone seemed to be watching, Game of Thrones, I haven’t seen it, not the least bit interested. So please, save those conversations for your fellow fans. Don’t try and explain it to me, I am not dense, I just don’t care about it. Get my point? Speaking of television shows, nothing better than getting a good friend to binge-watch a show with you. This can lead to endless conversations about characters and plots. Save those conversations for your fellow binge-watchers, not your friends who have no idea what you mean when you evoke the lines, “I have made a huge mistake.”

As a public service announcement, I want to apologize for any friends that suffered in the massive, Mad Men, attack of 2014-2015. Many of you fought the good fight and joined the cause but several had to endure the battle and suffered from endless rants about my love for Joanie. Much of what I said probably did not make much sense for several months. Mind you, if you now want to start from season one, please call me and set up times for viewings and recap conversations. I have the whiskey; you bring the candy cigarettes.