Needy

Being there for one another is just one aspect of a great friendship. From time to time you might come across someone who is a little needier than you are used to. You try to set boundaries to make sure the friendship stays safe for you, but you are a softy. Now you are drowning in the friendship, and need someone to throw you a life line.

::toss::

I got you, boo.

There several versions of the needy friend:

Advice needy

Meeting up for drinks after work is no fun with advice needy friend. She spends the entire night filling everyone in on her dilemma, asks for advice, that she will never, ever, listen to.

You take a break and don't see her for awhile, and she is at it again. Constantly complaining. Venting is a normal part of friendship, and it happens, of course. Venting friend does not mope, or get angry when the vent is over, and conversation moves forward.

Advice friend hides her vents as asking for advice in order for the conversation to stay on her problems. There is also a hope in asking for advice, that her predicament will be solved. I have seen these advice needy friends get meals paid for after complaning about money, and turn around moments later and drop tons of cash on make up, or clothes.

Text needy

Each time they text, and you don’t respond within fifteen minutes, they text again.

Did U get my text?

You check to see if it’s urgent, but no, they are just wondering what you think of the response the sent to some guy on an internet dating site, which in my mind is something that could wait more than fifteen minutes for a response.

If you do not text them each and every day, to say good morning, or good night, or how are you, then they think you are mad at them. Heaven forbid you are just busy, or don’t have anything interesting to talk about. Also, the text needy needs an instant response to all texts. I am usually on my phone, but wow, the one time I go on a date with my spouse and do not answer texts during a two-hour movie, and I end up with several texts and missed calls. You leave the movie to make sure their house hasn't burned down. Everything is fine.

They were just, worried, about why I haven't texted back yet.

Needy for random answers

Ever have a friend ask you questions over and over that can easily be answered by google? Sometimes people are just helpless. This is where I started to just tell people, “Google it!”

These people need to learn to, ask Siri.

Needy for attention

Much worse than having to remind your friends to use the internet, is the friend who is desperately in need for attention. She is typically a bit of a drama queen and every time the phone rings and it’s her she either wants to complain, or needs a favor. Never is it to see how you are, or to catch up, or maybe tell you a funny story. Nope, needy friend needs the attention and for you to listen to them, and also help solve all their problems. This is also great for needy friend because when she follows the advice and it doesn’t work she can blame you. This can evolve into a whole other crazy kind of friend.

Trust me

Never invite, Needy into your inner circle of friends. She will always bring the conversation back to herself, even when it is a far stretch from what you are talking about. Your friend mentions their daughter is in ballet, Needy used to be a dancer. Someone mentions that they love this song, Needy has this song in five different versions.

All things, always, must be centered around them. When it is not, they will do anything to make it happen. Lying, knitpicking, crying, or threatening to leave the party in hopes they will be chased after. Rather the attention be positive or negative, it always needs to be on them.

How to make it stop

What to do with this needy friend? Stop giving them advice, and they can no longer blame you for their mistakes.

Remember to never invite them when you are meeting up with other friends for dinner. You do not want everyone else you know to be punished listening to all of their problems and begging for some implied help.

Put their texts on mute and respond when you feel up to it.

Depending on the severity of their neediness, Needy can end up sucking you dry. Ever see, The Mummy with Brendan Frazier?

Remember how the mummy sucked the people dry, literally to make himself whole?

That is what Needy will do to you if you are not careful.

“Imhotep!!!”