Broken

Three years later...

“Thank you for shopping at Asda, have a great evening!”

“I will thank you!” I replied, knowing full well I wouldn’t. Robert would be home, drunk and dosed up on whatever the hell he could find.

I made my way to the car, carrying the food shopping with me. I tried to think of happier times, instead of what was waiting for me at home. Olivia rang me on my lunch break today from Nottingham, appalled that I wasn’t doing anything at the weekend for my 21st birthday.

“What do you mean you’re not doing anything for your birthday!? You’re turning 21, no longer a teenager!”

“I don’t know, birthdays don’t really excite me anymore.”

“Why don’t you come up to Nottingham?”

“Liv, I can’t exactly afford to go out or come to Nottingham.”

“Well, then I’ll come to you!”

“Okay, we’ll see.” I chuckled.

“I miss you Marley, I wish you came to uni.” Olivia said sadly.

I can’t help thinking how different my life would be if I had gone to Nottingham... freedom and Olivia... no more Robert. Day dreaming gets you nowhere though. I loaded up my car and made my way home.

As I pulled up, I noticed Robert’s car was still in the driveway, but most the lights were out. Had he gone out? God, I hope so. Then I could cook in peace. I opened the door and put my keys down. My back is killing me from work. I think I left my ibuprofen gel in the living room last night. I put the shopping down and pushed the door open with my elbow. Only nothing could have prepared me for what I was walking into.

“Jesus Christ! I’m so sorry.”

The woman who was on her knees in front of Robert toppled backwards trying to find her top, whilst he shot up, turning round and pulling his trousers up.

“I’m going to go.” The woman said as she ran past me and out the front door.

“Wait, Stacey -” He said fumbling around with his trouser clasp. He looked up and noticed she had gone.

“FOR FUCKSAKE MARLEY!” Robert looked at me with venom in his eyes.

I started to retreat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had company or were home.”

“Fuck off.” He growled as he sat back down and put the TV on.

I left the living room, picked up the shopping and headed to the kitchen to make a start on dinner. I can’t believe I just saw that. There are pictures of Mum still hanging on the walls. He’s an absolute pig. I started putting the shopping away but something felt off. I realised I smelt him before hearing him enter the kitchen.

“Please just get another drink and leave me alone.” I silently thought to myself. I carried on putting the shopping away before I felt breath on the back of my neck and hands on each of my hips. I froze.

“Do you know what you just cost me Marley? I liked Stacey and you made her leave.” He moved his hands up my arms and started to trace my skin and shoulders with his fingers. I thought I was going to be sick.

“What are you going to do now to sort your old man out?” He said as his left hand held my stomach so I was pressed against him and his right hand unbuttoned the top of my blouse. His hand moved under my bra cup as he started to squeeze and pinch my breast. I may put up with all the punches and cigarette burns, but I’m not standing for this. I turned round and pushed him off me.

“You’re not my fucking old man, Robert.” I said glaring at him. The way he looked at me scared me to the bone. Before I knew it he had slapped me so hard round the face that I fell to the floor. It didn’t stop there either. He drew his leg back and kicked me in my stomach with such force he winded me. I was gasping for air.

“You’re a fucking mess! Look at you! When was the last time you showered?!”He shouted at me whilst I was still gasping for air.

“Remember this is all your fault, ‘princesa’.” He hissed, before spitting on me and walking off, slamming the front door on his way.

I lay on the floor cradling my stomach, crying and wondering if this is what my life is from now on.

Robert

I grabbed my keys, slammed the front door behind me and unlocked my car.

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I shouted hitting the steering wheel. What the fuck am I doing? She has Rosa’s eyes. She looks more like Rosa the older she gets. But she’s not Rosa.

Every fucking morning I wake up wishing it was Marley who died in that car and not Rosa. I turned the ignition on and backed out the driveway before speeding off down the road. The moment Rosa told me she was pregnant it was like a disease was spreading through her womb. She was so excited; meanwhile I was silently pissed off inside. I’d been so fucking careful with her. Why did she want a child? Was our love for each other not enough? Everything was perfect until that brat came along. I tried; I really fucking tried with Marley, for Rosa’s sake if not mine. But something didn’t click. I couldn’t bond with the fucking child. I have never had any love for her.

Before Rosa died, I was a well dressed, hard working and respected Irish man who helped run one of the largest drug exports in Great Britain. Now look at me. Unemployed, alcoholic, prescription popper and living off benefits and my daughter’s wages.

Suddenly, something inside me goes off like a light bulb. I don’t want to live like this. I’m fucking Robert Alden for crying out loud; people feared me, this wasn’t who I was. No quicker had I thought it, I knew what the problem was and how I was going to get rid of it.

I pulled over, took out my mobile and dialled the number I wanted. Not easy when your half cut. After a few rings, a strong Irish accent picked up.

“Costello.”

I let out a deep breath. “Vinny, it’s Robert.”

“Bobby Alden! Where have you been brother?”

“Listen Vinny, I need to see you. Are you still in the country?”

“Yes. Same place as usual.”

“Can you meet me at our spot in half an hour?” There was a long pause.

“Bobby, what’s going on?”

“I’ll explain when I get there. See you in 30.”

I sat in my car in the abandoned wreck on the other side of town, looking at the empty bottle of Bourbon and wishing I had another. I knew other parents wouldn’t do what I’m about to do but I can’t bear to be around her. I need her gone; for good.

Bright headlights shone into my windscreen as a car pulled up in front of mine. I got out, shut the door and walked round to the front of my car, leaning on the bonnet. A tall, stocky guy got out of the car and walked over to me, chucking away the end of his cigarette. He looked me up and down before embracing me and slapping me on the back.

“Well fuck, Bobby. What the hell happened to you?” Vinny said standing back. I noticed Spencer in the background leaning against the passenger side of the car, deep in conversation on his mobile.

“Boss, you’ve got 10 minutes until we need to leave.” Vinny nodded.

“I see Spencer has got my old job then.” I said bitterly, lighting a cigarette.

“You chose to leave Bobby.”

“For Rosa; I left for Rosa. Now look where its fucking got me.” I said inhaling.

“Is this what this is about? You want back in?” I paused. Is this what I wanted instead? What I needed?

“You are always welcome back brother, you know this.” Vinny said looking at me sternly and shaking me back to reality.

No. This isn’t what I wanted. I wanted to get away from this shit hole. Away from anything that reminded me of Rosa; of Marley.

“No. No, I don’t.” Vinny looked at me. “I want you to take Marley.” Vinny started laughing as I threw my cigarette on the floor.

“You can’t be serious, Alden. You want me to take your daughter? She’s barely an adult. What is she now? Eighteen?”

“She’s twenty-one on Saturday. Look, I know you need a new recruit and a bloody good one at that. Believe it or not she’ll probably be of use to you.” Fuck, I can’t believe I’m actually saying something positive about that brat. Vinny raised his eyebrows.

“How useful exactly?”

“I don’t fucking know!” My head was becoming fuzzy. I needed a drink, desperately. “She’s quick witted, has a sharp tongue about her when she wants. She’s fluent in Spanish, good at directions and she has Rosa’s memory.”

“And what am I suppose to do with her with what you’ve told me?” Vinny said lighting another cigarette.

“Do what the fuck you want with her. Use her as one of your drivers or translators. Fuck, use her as the play toy for the lads; I don’t care as long as you just fucking take her!” It took me a minute to realise I was shouting and now both Vinny and Spencer were looking at me like a mad man. Vinny took a step towards me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“We would never use her as a play toy, Bobby. Not when she had Rosa for a mother. I mean yeah, we can be ruthless but we still have respect for your family.” Vinny said. He looked at me seriously before speaking again. “Bobby, do you really want this? You know the chances of seeing her again will be next to nothing.”

I looked up at Vinny.

“Yes. I just want her gone and I need the money. If I had everything my way I’d rather she dead, but I can’t do that to Rosa’s memory. If you take her at least I know I’ll have done the right thing by Rosa, knowing she will be looked after.”

“Okay then. I’ll talk to Jax and I’ll get it set up for the weekend.”

“Thanks. What about the money?”

“I’ll wire it once we’ve got her.” Vinny said inhaling the last few toques of his cigarette.

“I’m gone Vinny. Once that bitch is taken, I’m leaving.” I said straightening up.

“I know brother.” Vinny said throwing his cigarette on the floor and putting his hand on my shoulder. “I need to ask you one thing though. Why do you hate her so much? She’s your daughter.”

I paused for a long time before speaking.

“She killed Rosa.” That was all I managed to get out. Vinny squeezed my shoulder.

“Take care of yourself brother, you’ll know once it’s done.” Vinny started walking back to his car.

“I may hate the girl, but she’s still an Alden, Vinny!” I called after him.

“I know. That’s why you’ll get double.” He said getting into the car. And with that he was gone.