Breaking up

A little back story might help. A couple of years ago I ended a relationship with my ex-girlfriend after 6 years of being together. I was 18 when the relationship started and she was 27 so there was a maturity gap but we loved each other more than anything that it didn't matter.

We moved in together after a few months of dating (What does a lesbian bring to the second date? A U-Haul haha). We moved fast and it was working well- so I thought. After about 5 years, she decided she no longer wanted children but I still did. We had already been starting to drift apart and became more friends than lovers. A year later, we broke things off and I moved into my friends house two days later.

Getting out of a long-term relationship is a pretty difficult thing to do. I spent most of my early adult life with her and had never been on my own since after highschool. I'm here to discuss the benefits of having time to yourself after a long relationship.

I had never realized how little I did in that relationship. I quickly started to realize all of the things she did for me and taught me. Once I was on my own, I was doing those things myself like getting my own car insurance, cleaning everything myself, remembering to pay bills by myself, having bills by myself; being independent. I know, it sounds so obvious that those are adult things to do and I knew everything I had to do but before, she was there to help with it all.

That time I had after my relationship was my biggest growing point in my life. I went on dates, I made mistakes, I improved my credit score, I ended up getting my own apartment, I spent more time with my family, I learned more about myself, I grew into new opinions and outlooks on life, and most importantly, I learned to love myself.

You don't have to feel like your life is over after a long relationship ends, it's the beginning of a new chapter in your life and you can make it a great one. Learn a new hobby, make new friends, go out with those new friends, take a vacation, exercise more, get that short hair-cut (it'll grow back, I promise), go on that date, make mistakes, and most importantly; love yourself and give yourself credit where credit is due.

My ex is one of the best things to happen to me and I'll always love her for that. She helped me grow, taught me what a relationship should be, and taught me about adult life- I may not have done it all while we were together, but I was prepared to know what i'd have to do when we broke up and that set me up for a great deal of learning/growing.

Now that i'm in a new relationship, I know how to be a better partner/teammate to that person. I love better and I communicate better. It's okay to have failed relationships; you get up and get back out there. You'll learn something new from every relationship you have, take those experiences and bring them to the table in your new relationship.

Being alone is not an easy thing to do if you're used to being with someone else but let me tell you something very important; Once you know how to be alone and become comfortable with you, you'll find yourself less likely to settle on someone who won't treat you right. Learn how to be alone before finding someone new, become comfortable in your own company and enjoy it, have those TV binging nights with snacks on snacks by yourself, go out with friends or by yourself, just enjoy yourself before you enjoy someone else.

You can do it, and you can overcome it!