Are you ready to F*ck Expectations and the People Pleasing?

We are coming out of an epoch of mostly women and anyone who has felt marginalized putting on their mask of people pleasing and doing what is expected of them.

This all served a purpose.

It isn't about spewing more hate and anger into the world - unless that is what you choose to do.

Let's start with authentic gratitude.

Acknowedging that everyone is doing the best they can. Who had the best childhood? So many of us experienced trauma and buried it deep below.

And yet how often do we challenge ourselves to rise up and choose to be better? Do you know how? Do you want to?

Not everyone will get this call. And that is more than okay.

I am speaking to you dear one. The one that is changing the dynamics in your family. Doing the work of inter-generational healing.

No we didn't sign up for this job. We chose it on a soul-level. In concert with the very people who trigger the f*ck out of us!

Yup! How crazy is that?

Consider looking at your life from a higher perspective. Things never make sense while we are thick in the middle of the madness.

In the pain we usually feel isolated, alone, and misunderstood. It feels like crap for sure.

I invite you to acknowledge these feelings and then choose to rise up. Rise up into the knowing of who you really are:

You are a brave and powerful Soul who came here to undo deep ancestral patterns and create new opportunities for yourself and future generations.

Yet there is no paycheck or accolades for this brave work in the 3D/matrix or the world as we know it. The world that has rewarded stuffing down feelings, pretending everything is ok, earn those degrees, get the promotion and do it with zero percent body fat, no cellulite or wrinkles and all that jazz that has kept many of us women trapped in a loop of self-hate and not-enoughness. Do you relate??

No more! If you choose it. You don't have to know how you'll figure it all out. And you will have to be kind to yourself as this path is not linear. You make progress and then you fall on your @ss back into old patterns - back to people pleasing and everything that keeps you stuck and small.

But like an onion, you will dissolve old layers, stories and hurt that you no longer need.

Be kind to yourself as you are deprogramming yourself from decades of confusing messages on who to be and how to be 'successful' and worthy.

At the end of the day, it only matters how you feel about yourself. That you see yourself as worthy.

Bodies get old and they die. Jobs come and go. Don't let external and fleeting things define your worth.

You are human. You are messy and beautiful. Simple and complicated. No more living in an either/or binary world.

Choose to live in a Both/And world - it is way more inclusive and expansive. More forgiving too.

You can be both perfect and a work in progress. You can change your mind at any time. If you allow yourself too.

You can eat clean and enjoy the foods that give you pleasure. Whatever limits you put on yourself from media trying to sell you something to fix yourself - LET IT GO, NOW!

Drop the fear. Honor the voice you choose to give power to in that beautiful head of your's. The one that loves you no matter what.

At 19 years old, I told my family - we are not buying Christmas presents anymore. We are grown and can buy ourselves what we desire now. We can buy each other gifts when we want to year-round, when it feels right and authentic; I won't buy gifts and go into debt and get stressed out just to cross things off my list and do what society has forced upon us to increase consumerism as pawns in their games of making fiscal goals. Hell no!

Disclaimer: I do feel Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate that gives children hope and a reason to believe in miracles is awesome. If I had kids, I would invite them to understand how yes toys and things are fun yet they aren't everything. This is not the time or place to go on about this but I felt it was worth mentioning.

This example of me speaking up for my values at a tender age risking dissapoininting my family was scary! I cannot recall the details yet I know they are all grateful each year when they don't have to be a part of the shopping frenzy that now starts as early as hearing Christmas music in Target the day after Halloween.

Pro Tips: More to come next week on not just surviving the holiday season yet always choose love as your motivator. Love for yourself = giving love to others. If you catch yourself doing things motivated by fear, e.g. I have to or...Stop, breathe and show yourself a ton of compassion as you are standing up for yourself which encourages others to do the same. More love less guilt, fear and shame please.

Ahh yes, you made it this far - Congratulations and thank you.

The Wounds Photo Shoot I will share more later but for now - I embarked on a scary journey. I risked my marriage and going into debt to go through an intensive year-long program with a small group of brave woman who dove deep into old patterns and wound that have kept us stuck. The image featured above gives you a glimpse around my misperception and pain around healing my relationship with my mom, my body and for feeling I never fit in this world.

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Shine Bright No Matter What Is Going On,

Nicolette