Are You An Overprotective Parent?

Are you a super protective parent? Have you ever been told that you worry too much about your child, that you keep him attached to you, and that you suffocate him with constant attention? The instinct to protect your child is, of course, as natural as possible - but there are fathers and especially mothers who take things too far, guarding, protecting, and caring for the child as if it were a porcelain trinket! Is something wrong with a super protective parenting style?

Are you a super protective parent?

Do you want to know everything the child does and where he is at all times? As long as he is small, it is understandable to know where the child is and what he is doing (although, if you know that he is safe at home with grandparents and friends, it is not necessary to check him constantly).

But if you can't get rid of this need to know everything and once the older child goes out to play, home to friends, out in the city, you may have forgotten to lose weight "When you want to know his schedule point by point and when you call him every hour to see what he does, you are a super-protective and anxious parent…

Do you check everything the child is doing? When he has homework or any other activity, do you feel the need to see with your own eyes what he is doing and to help him do better, even if he did not ask you to? When you don't let him do his own thing and you always want to control and help him, you get more involved than necessary.

Do you think he needs you for anything? As stated above - do you feel the need to help him with any activity, do you often tend to do in your place what you find most difficult, and do you think that the little one can't do anything without you? Moreover, you praise him and tell him that he is doing everything right, even though you are doing this for him? Raising a dependent parent…

Do you always take care of him and save him from chores - do you tend to think "he is just a child, not to overwhelm him with chores in the house - that's a parenting job"? You always look for him, tidy his room, wash his shoes, cut his flesh and wipe his mouth - although he could very well do it all himself ?! It is normal to want a child to have a happy, carefree life - but to relieve him of responsibilities means to raise an adult who will be unable to take them on!

Do you make decisions for him? Especially when he grows up, it is extremely beneficial to let your child make decisions directly that affect him directly, but also to actively participate in family decision-making, to express his opinion.

If you tend to make decisions yourself, especially those that are directly related to him, you are a super protective parent (decisions such as what activities to do after school, what courses to take, what school to go to, what profile to follow, etc.). You don't give him the freedom to choose, and by that, you don't form the power of decision-making and action - even if you tend to think you should plan his life, that's not the way it is.

Are you constantly worried? Can't you be afraid, are you anxious thinking about all the dangers in this world, as if everything were hanging around the corner to grab your little one? When you hear the terrible news about a child, do you start to tremble to imagine what it would be like to go through that situation?

Are you anxious when the baby is not near you? Do you want him home, knowing he's safe here? If he's a few minutes late, are you ready to call the police and run after him? This anxiety is extremely harmful: to you, as a parent, but also to your child be careful, how many bad people there are (yes, it is necessary to teach him the main rules of protection, but talking to him often about danger makes him an anxious child).

Are you obsessed with safety precautions? Of course, you may find the measures necessary for the child's safety (measures related to home security, hygiene, the child's schedule, the time when he is not with you, what he watches on TV, etc.). If, however, you are subtly told that you are exaggerating with all the measures and rules for your child, maybe you should try to look at the situation more objectively…

Do you feel the need to protect and protect him, hiding difficult realities from him? No parent wants to talk to their child about difficult or cruel things, such as death, illness, divorce, sex. parents should be the first to talk to him and explain such issues. You can't protect it from the world and reality, no matter how much you want it! He needs to know the reality to cope.

Do you refuse to "let go"? To accept that he wants in the world, that, from an early age, it is normal to move away from his parents and spend time in groups of elders? When he is no longer a child, to continue to see him and especially to treat him as a child is a mistake of the super protective parent.

If you are a super-protective parent, try to realize that even if you do what you do for the good of the child, the extremes are never good! Try to get rid of anxiety and fear that something terrible will happen to him, just because he goes out to play with all the other children or because he practices a sport.

Learn to push him to do it on his own - before he gets used to you. Give him freedom and encourage him to make small decisions and express himself. Let him make mistakes and face small problems - without constantly solving the problem for him. Teach him to be responsible, asking him to do his school and housework (don't relieve him of his job!).

If you do not try to be less protective of the child, he will become dependent on you, he will rely on you for things he should do on his own. He will be a child - then a young person and an adult - with low self-confidence (used to asking for help from others) and high anxiety (unprepared to face challenges).

There will be a child - then a young person and an adult - who adapts with difficulty, who always needs support, who believes that he alone cannot succeed, learned to rely on others. And, perhaps, he will be one of those young people who postpone flying out of the nest, not feeling ready for life on his own and will be, perhaps, one of those adults who is looking for a surrogate parent in his life partner, who will things in his place and to take care of him…