Approaching Women That Have Headphones on?

You're probably wondering why there's a pair of headphones for the title photo. Well, today I was scrolling on social media, as one does, and I came across screenshots of a blog post on how to approach women wearing headphones. What I read was so cringeworthy I could not help but write this post today. Basically, the gist of it so you don't have to go through the misery of reading it was this: see pretty girl with headphones, wave down pretty girl, don't give up until you talk to pretty girl because you're basically asserting dominance and "confidence". Also, there was a quote that stated that, "Most women want and are very open to being approached." I'm honestly surprised given the intellect of the post that it didn't actually instruct men to pee on a woman's leg like a dog.

Fun fact and a trick I learned when I was in college for when I was out was to put headphones in without music so people won't bother you. A lot of the time, it wasn't even plugged in to anything, just had a cord in my pocket. Sounds crazy, but these are the lengths we go to to get left the hell alone sometimes.

Trigger Warning, Talk of Sexual Assault Through Paragraph Below:

I recall one instance where I was walking at night on campus at my school and a guy was behind me. I had gigantic headphones on, walked where there were people, and where everything was well lit. This guy would not let up. His friend told him, "Hey dude, she's wearing headphones and she's probably not interested anyway." So the dude, instead of listening to his friend, says directly to me, who he thinks can't hear him, "Well have fun getting raped if you can't hear anyone behind you." Like seriously, this went from a 0-100 in a short span of time. I couldn't help myself. I turned around and informed him I could hear him, and when women are out and about maybe they don't want to be approached or they're not interested, especially when you're screaming at them and they don't turn around. So, I got called a bitch that day, and have been called one on many occasions since when a man got his feelings hurt getting rejected.

Seriously, leave women alone when they have headphones in. I can't believe I have to type that sentence. Most of the time, they're working out, or that's the only quiet time they get during the day to enjoy their music or a podcast because they're busy at work, or they have kids trying to get their attention 24/7. If she takes them out, maybe approach her when they're out in a non creepy way. I'm not saying never approach women period, I'm saying use your common sense about it. Also, mentioning sexual assault when trying to talk to a woman? Not a good move, and you might get justifiably maced.

The whole article reminded me of what we're told when we're little girls, which is, "If he picks on you, he likes you," and a grown man wrote a whole blog, not to mention a website about how to use this technique on women as an adult. While most dating advice I've seen on men's sites is based on not only the idea that everyone is heterosexual, but they're also living stereotypes and if they're not outwardly feminine they "deep down want to be treated as such." That's problematic for a number of reasons, firstly, assuming the mindset of another human you don't know. Also, the Gigli idea that if you have a Ben Affleck, or a specific man treated you a certain way, you would not only change yourself, but your sexuality. Because that's totally changeable.

The whole article and the website it came from just reeks of toxic masculinity, manipulation, and narcissistic delusion. If you're interested in someone, read the damn room. We are usually pretty straight forward in public if we're comfortable being approached. If being rejected makes you fly into a rage (I've also experienced that both online and in person), maybe see a therapist and not an online dating advice guy that literally has articles that are titled, "How to Make Your Ex Crawl Back."