Apartment 413

Coming to you live from apartment 413 in 3… 2…1! We made it past the first week of San Antonio traffic and working alone. Have I made it out alright? Well, just a bit more on psycho status, but I survived though the week, so I would say I did good. All I really wanted this week was for Chris to be here and now he is finally here, and I get to cuddle! What can I say I have learned about myself? I crave human interaction and or attention. I guess after being in a relationship for almost five years now it makes you a little co-dependent. Although, if you are wondering, I have managed pretty.

Now, have I been going to work and coming back home tired and done with the day and wanting to sleep? Yes, in fact I do every day, but I make time to talk to everyone first. Does that make me the bad guy, the "party pooper," for being tired all the time and not hanging? I mean not that I really care, but I know we are still young and maybe I should be hanging a little more. Real life does not pause for anyone though, and a moments lack of sleep can be consequential the morning after when you are trying to get ready for work. So, I am okay going to bed early like an old lady that needs her beauty sleep. I do not need a party I need sleep and I need to make money moves which is what I am working for. I do not know how far I will get with this job, but I feel like I have a shot at something great honestly. I do not even know where those thoughts come from to be honest. I just feel like I am really holding it down in this city.

Next thing I must do is get trained in using a gun and buying myself one. After that I am going to look for a self defense class to sign up for (I already spotted a Krav Maga class close by). When Chris makes me mad, I will simply go to the shooting range or workout. JUST KIDDING! Already planning for the worst-case scenario, that is me. I am not planning those things as an escape, but simply for the fact that I am a girl alone in a big city and I need to defend myself and be ready to fight for my life if ever needed. The reason why I am so fight or flighty in my thoughts is because I work almost 30 minutes away from work, and I know NO ONE near me.

Right now, though, I am craving a nice morning sweet bread and a warm hot chocolate from home treat. That is something that Chris brings me every morning and night, the feeling of home and warmth. That’s why all I craved for the whole first week was for him to be here. I guess we must really be in-love or something. Did I not tell you all that his and mine is the greatest love story? Not comparable to 10 Things I hate About You, or Fifty Shades of Grey, but Chris and I, we truly are in love. I have never in my life felt an assurance and a safety and companionship in a person. Chris and I are just on the same wavelength but also still growing and learning from each other. We vibe so amazingly when we are together, almost effortlessly. Our love is at a different phase where we are just comfortable with each other and trust one another and there is no need for doubts anymore. It is so amazing to me because I almost did not believe a love like this was possible anymore. I had begun to lose my faith completely in love and then he came around. Maybe he saved my heart and in a way my sanity.

I still like to blaze. That is the only problem we have. I like to smoke the ganja and he thinks it makes me a slob or a lazy person, when in fact it does not. I am not addicted, I do not do it all the time, but I enjoy it when I do. I do it to be able to just relax through my day when I am alone. Not that I stress but it helps with the anxiety in the mornings. I will be replacing that with workouts in the morning though, so will it even really matter anymore now that he is moved in with me. Well, the fact that my two closest best friends are pot heads makes it a bit of a difficulty, but I will control the cravings to just vibe. Not that it kills his vibe (if I could roll my eyes for emphasis I would) he completely enjoys my mood in a higher state of mind, but that is a story for another time.

By the way, apartment 413 is amazing. It is spacious and cozy, and it is in a fancy part of town surrounded by nature! I mean how much better can my morning commute get. All I need is a little time to finally feel like I am at home and become comfortable with my noisy neighbors and relax with possibly the love of my life and my friends. Happy does not even come close to describe the feeling of living on my own with my friends and boyfriend and feeling like I am in a permanent vacation.