Just a 26 yr old with an active imagination & a lust for life. Follow me @melaniegyo on IG
Where have you been you might be asking? Or might not, because let's face it, my audience is small. So for those of you wondering where did the blogger for Apartment 413 go? She took a mental health hiatus. I have been trying to just help myself be better and love myself more than I do most days. I have been feeling very stuck these days and it started to get to me. The fact that my mental health hasn't been doing great has been taking a toll on my motivation to write these blogs. I honestly don't even know how long it's been; maybe a month or two or even three that I have missed my weekly blogs. For that I am sorry. Writing without motivation or purpose brings no real joy to me and one thing that I always want this blog to be for me is a outlet.
January 25, 2021 It is a new year, and I don’t think I have written since the start of 2021. It is only January and look what the year has brought me. I was out pretty much since week 1 due to COVID. Yes, I could have written but I was out emotionally too. Not only was my body overwhelmed with sickness and fighting to recuperate, but my mind was also waging a war against anxiety at the same time. Not to share “TMI-too much info” but I also started my period straight away from coming out of being sick for two weeks, talk about energy depletion. Not only was my body tired but by the end of my isolation so was my mind. So, since I got COVID-19 I didn’t work for the past two weeks and a half and I also didn’t have the mental strength to sit down and type out a blog in completion. What better day to start again than the day I am back to work?
Light of my life
December 29, 2020 Somewhere in time our lives shifted. Things changed from fantasy and games to serious issues and problems without solutions. As I fell deeper into the bottomless abyss of darkness, I felt my soul lose itself. I can’t see you by my side any longer, where are you? The darkness consumes me, and I can no longer hear you. Was there music playing a minute ago? Where are you? Am I saying it out loud or is it just a thought in my head? Please! Where are you? I fall and I can only see myself and darkness surrounds me. I feel like I have no space to breathe or move. I am in free fall without knowing where or when this might end. Anxiety creeps into my throat, then my lungs. I struggle for air, for breaths. “Where are you?” I think I hear myself whisper it. Who am I looking for? I have been falling so long I forgot. Darkness has filled my life as long as I can remember, and I know nothing more. Through gasps I break inside, this abyss will never end. I feel my life become darkness as my body turns black. Have I stopped falling or do I no-longer know the difference? I am forever lost; nobody will remember me. I try to hold on to my line of thought for as long as I can. I can feel the darkness fill me inside.
Apartment 413: Blog 14 December 15, 2020 This week hasn’t been hard it has just been boring. The weather has been up and down. It’s sunny as hell one day and a bit warm and the next morning it’s freezing, then today to finish off with a cherry on top it rains. Like can our weather here be any more bipolar. I have been a bit more tired than usual also but that is because I have been trying to workout in the morning again and it had been the struggle of the week. I successfully worked out the first morning, but everyone after that got harder and harder. Not that I was sore or anything like that, it was just getting a little harder to wake up early in the morning when my body just wants to rest. Both Chris and I have been exhausted this week though, so I took it slow on myself.
December 4, 2020 Who would have thought we would have made it this far already this year? I can’t believe Christmas is upon us and it is December fourth already. Just Monday I celebrated another year of life, turning 26. I thought once I got to my late twenties I would start freaking out, but the reality of it is that it is jut a number. What I am more concerned with is feeling good about myself and living a healthy life. If I feel good as I progress in this life, everything else is just part of the journey. Just trying to get a little better than before and living a full life.
November 25, 2020 This past week was very uneventful so in reality there wasn’t much missed. I worked through a lot of personal emotions and issues this week. I was able to really talk about how I feel and make some progress with all the important people in my life. That was just one thing that I felt needed to be done. This week was just emotionally heavy, whether it was because of PMS or mental instability I won’t know. That’s the burden of being a girl, having hormones go a little nuts during menstruation cycles. Regardless it made my heart heavy and it made me want to really analyze the way I have been toward all my loved ones. Now that I was able to express my feelings, I feel so much more resolved and at ease. Back to the regular program, right? Things align when you do what feels right for your soul.
November 13, 2020 Today marks the 13th of November 2020, on a Friday. So of course, I had to change my blogs release date to Friday the 13th. I have never seen this day as a bad luck type of day, in fact I made it my good luck day! Occasionally, a Friday the 13th comes around and I embrace it and manifest it as a day of good luck and good energies all around. Why have I done this? I guess all the negative connotation around this day never struck right with me, I wanted to give this day better meaning in my life. I know it’s silly, but it is my way of turning this upside-down view right side up in my head. ANYWHO, back to regularly scheduled program!
November 4, 2020 Can you believe we are already at the month of November? 2020 has come and gone like a flash, by the time you know it we will be celebrating New Years from the comfort of social distancing. Life in this year has been crazy, not only for me but I’m sure for everyone all around the world. This year we lost loved ones, feared for our lives, went into lockdown, witnessed historical events, and in America saw a nation divide. It feels like we all kind of mourned for loss and grew anxious together. Although we also tried to keep the positivity and shine the light on people that were doing amazing things and caring for others in tough times. Still here we are nearing the end of another year, alive.