Humans logo

A Personal Definition of Crazy

An empathetic view of someone that's deemed a psycho.

By Alex BPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
Like

Now I have to admit; the term 'crazy' can be misconstrued in many different ways. What is it to be considered crazy? We each have our own subjective way of deciding which person seems deserving of this word with little to no actual meaning behind it. Is “crazy” just another societal term that places people into a bubble, or is it an actual problematic trait that can be proven rationally. Honestly, I can’t answer these questions even if I wanted to. All I know is what, exactly, it means to me; nothing. Let me explain.

This derogatory term is only pushed as a technical word for those who act irrationally. Yet, why is it that every behavior that could be considered crazy when displayed by a neurotic individual be explained calmly and rationally through empathy? In my life, when it came to other people’s issues, I found it much easier to separate myself emotionally and simply observe the situation in a calm and rational way. However, these two aspects of my individuality (my rationality and extreme emotional vulnerability) fight between each other when it comes to my own personal life. Sometimes this can be a normality but oftentimes in my relationships, my emotions govern my thoughts. This causes me to confuse myself when trying to differentiate between what is rational and what is just inside my head. As a result, my whole life I’ve been considered neurotic and insane by my peers. Let’s sidetrack to my own personal thoughts and views.

Whenever I was in a relationship with someone, I ignored all the possible red flags. This resulted in my acting selfishly, because I got confused between addiction and real love. In turn, they ignored all the red flags I exhibited for that same reason. As a person that’s an avid follower of living in my own head, I struggle with an extreme amount of selfishness, sensitivity, low self-esteem and an incapability of truly being happy and fulfilled. Instead, I shoved all these problems into other people’s hands, hoping they would fill some empty void that I was incapable of filling myself. This, on the other hand, made me even more unhappy, not only because it was unfair to them but mostly because I was disappointed myself. It’s clear that rationally, each person is completely in charge of their own happiness, but why is it that I struggle so much with mine? Why is it that I can’t accept that just yet? Perhaps I am mentally and emotionally weaker than some, or perhaps they’re right; I am crazy.

It’s obvious that someone’s actions speak louder than words, or even thoughts. In general, that’s how people in life recognise you and how they are able to generate an opinion about you. If some of those people were here today, writing this instead of me, here’s the main thing they’d say;

“Manipulative”

Now, there are multiple things you might be thinking. That A) I deserve to be classified as crazy and psychotic and that I must be a shitty human being. Or B) you have acquired a sort of empathy because of all the things you read previously.

Honestly, I could lie to you and say that I manipulate people on purpose and have no empathy for them, but in reality, when I found out that all these people have been thinking this of me, I felt horrible. Mostly because I had no idea that I had that sort of negative impact on them until after the shock value disappeared and I had to reevaluate myself and my relationships. Actions speak louder than words, so no matter how much I try to rationalise my behaviour, I did it, and it caused someone pain.

But is that something worth categorising as psychotic?

Is crazy just a term thrown out by people who just can’t understand the other person, or is crazy a valid description of someone with a bag filled with insecurities and thoughts, that remains unaware of the damage they’ve done until it’s too late? That depends on your definition, but to me, I am just a young adult trying their best to be happy by using rationalisation as a coping mechanism.

-A. B

breakupsdatinghumanitysinglefact or fictionfriendship
Like

About the Creator

Alex B

A young adult looking to write about life, movies and tv shows.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.