A marriage with means is not a good marriage

A Shanghai woman born in the 1990s has made a special will after her divorce.

The Internet is buzzing.

She has a house and bank card in her name, designated to the current only 3 years old daughter to inherit.

At the same time, he designated his parents, the children's grandparents, as administrators.

Wait until the daughter reaches the age of 28 to execute the inheritance.

The purpose of this is:

One is to protect their own property, to provide a protective mechanism for their daughter;

The other is to prevent the ex-husband from dividing the estate as guardian.

Netizens left comments one after another:

What she did was right. She just wanted to give her children a safety net while she was away.

She may have known her ex-husband too well to share his inheritance in the name of child support;

You really need to protect your property and protect your legal rights and interests and those of your family.

The whole thing seems very rational, but less "emotional".

I believe that every person who enters a marriage is holding the happiness for the future.

It's just that reality is often raw.

Not every marriage can come to an end.

And at the same time of marriage breakdown, often accompanied by property contention and distribution.

We often remind women to get the right to speak in life, and "the prerequisite for women to fight for the right to speak is to learn to protect their own rights and interests."

So, in marriage, how to better protect their interests?

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If you can't get a divorce, make a will first.

According to the White Paper of 2021 Chinese Will Bank:

More than a year after the divorce cooling-off period came into effect, the number of people consulting wills has been on the rise.

Why is that?

Before we answer that question, let's look at a story:

Last March, a "Bay Area cheating philandering men" news, refresh the awareness of the Internet users.

The couple are postgraduate classmates at Beijing University of Telecommunications and Telecommunications and work together in the United States.

The two were married for nearly 20 years and have a son and daughter.

One works at Google, one at Facebook.

In May 2021, his wife passed away from cancer.

When you die, you leave a large legacy:

$2 million from the insurance.

The wife was an only child, and when she died, her parents were supposed to get a share of the estate.

But just three days before his wife's death, she suddenly became a naturalized U.S. citizen.

Under U.S. law, the beneficiaries of an estate are:

Spouse and two minor children.

And the parents, they don't get any money.

Even more outrageous:

The husband, who inherited a huge amount of money, quickly met his new love on the Internet and soon registered their marriage.

It's been less than a month since his wife died.

His wife s parents came from China to take care of their daughter two months before she died.

They wanted to wait until their daughter was officially buried before returning home.

However, instead of buying the cemetery, her husband filed an eviction notice with the police.

The wife's parents have 30 days to leave the country.

It's chilling to the core.

After reading this story, I believe you can probably understand why "divorce is not the first will".

During the divorce cooling-off period, the marriage relationship still exists.

At this point, if something bad happens:

If you do not make a will, then all your property, first in line of succession is not the parents, not the children, but your spouse.

If you have a will, you can make your own arrangements for the whereabouts of your property, so that you can better protect yourself and your family from malicious encroachment.

It can be seen that the essence of making a will, whether after divorce or during divorce coolness, is:

To use legal means to protect their property.

Conventional wisdom might suggest that making a will is particularly unlucky.

Only a dying man would consider such a thing.

But the data show that wills are becoming younger and younger.

The number of people who made wills from 2020 to 2021 increased by 14.42 percent among those born in the 2000s and 80 percent among those born in the 1990s.

Among them, the majority of the people who made wills in 2021 were married, accounting for 70.7%.

Most of the "post-80s" who made their wills belonged to families without disputes and were in good health.

The reason for making a will:

It is to "save for a rainy day", "avoid unaccounted for assets" and "take care of family".

Use the law to protect and fight for their rights and interests.

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Post 95 blogger @do a happy little fat orange cat, before getting a license, and her husband signed a prenuptial agreement.

In her opinion, there are three advantages to signing a marriage agreement:

1. Clarification and protection of pre-marital property;

2. Constraints on married life of both parties;

3. In case of final separation, it will be dignified.

During the signing process, she and her husband had many arguments.

But in the end, after communication and discussion, the two men worked out a mutually satisfactory plan.

Specific contents include:

Their respective property and debts before marriage;

Clarifying the amount of money invested by the parents of both parties before marriage;

The situation of joint loan repayment after marriage, how to allocate the repayment method;

In the face of extreme situations after marriage, negotiate solutions together;

Constraints on cheating, infertility, unilateral marital loans;

The emphasis on property rights and compensation after divorce is clear.

The signing of a prenuptial agreement, instead of making both parties feel offended and uncomfortable, but fundamentally avoid some of the worries.

Can enter marriage with more yearning and beauty.

Now, she has been married for nearly two years, and her relationship with her husband has become more stable after going through the difficulties of pregnancy, childbirth and raising a baby.

In fact, a prenuptial agreement simply says:

Clear before marriage, constraints after marriage.

It wasn't to take advantage of anyone, nor was it calculated.

Instead, talk openly about money, benefits, and other issues.

Make arrangements in advance to deal with the risks that may arise in your marriage.

Of course, one or two people in the end, really can't go on.

Prenuptial agreements can also be used to protect yourself and minimize the damage caused by divorce, including the loss of money.

Many people may feel that a prenuptial agreement is a sign of mistrust.

Why should a couple live together?

But really good relationships are never afraid to talk about money.

Instead, go into marriage with worry and suspicion.

Why don't you just open up about it.

Then, the two people sit down and discuss how to solve the crisis and problems that may arise in the marriage, and make the corresponding rules and regulations.

This is a kind of "bottom", but also a sense of security.

"Marriage is a long journey in life, and a prenuptial agreement is an accident insurance policy for the future of that journey."

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Marriage is a delicate thing.

We're drawn to each other by dopamine, and we fall in love, and we start a family.

However, if you want to maintain dopamine levels in love, you need to continuously increase the intensity of stimulation.

It's hard.

When the passion of the intimate relationship fades, when the triviality of daily necessities and the breakdown of children gradually sets in.

Marriage is prone to crisis.

"Yes, my love for you was real, and so were the promises and promises made.

But, feelings will change, people will change.

I'm not going to stay put."

Many marriage traitors, will use such a set of rhetoric to explain themselves.

Indeed, the nature of human nature is selfish, is to seek advantage and avoid harm, is to love the new and dislike the old.

In this way, marriage itself seems to be against humanity.

It requires that two people be loyal, disciplined, tolerant, responsible and so on.

So, in marriage, how to resolve this conflict?

The answer is to put institutional shackles on human nature.

We can not believe in human nature, but at least can believe in the rules.

As blogger Yang Linxi put it in an interview with Sanlian Life Weekly:

"If we agree on a set of rules and work within those rules, I feel like we're working toward a common goal."

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Now, back to the original question:

In marriage, how to better protect their interests?

Trust the rules.

The institution of marriage itself is the norm and constraint of human nature.

In addition, can also sign some laws, such as prenuptial agreement, marriage agreement, property notarization, make a will and so on.

Define certain properties and interests more clearly and specifically to avoid future accidents or risks.

Marriage has never been a simple thing.

It is full of human consideration and game, as well as interest entanglement and entanglement.

We certainly hope you can believe in love, believe in marriage.

But while choosing to believe, you can also try your best to protect yourself, including your property and life.

Making a will or a prenuptial agreement is not a calculation or a shrewd one.

But to better manage the marriage, to cope with the wind and rain of life.

It's to protect yourself as much as possible.

We could -- we could never use these.

But don't wait until you use it.

~end~

If you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

~This is Antoine, and I hope you find pleasure in each of my articles~