7 Ways to Support Your Sensitive Soul

Not everyone is familiar with the term highly sensitive person (HSP), but you probably know someone who fits the definition. To summarize, we can say that HSPS experience life on a larger scale than the average person - both the highs and the lows.

This is neither inherently good nor disadvantages-it all depends on the degree to which the HSP manages his or her sensitivity. As an HSP, I can say that one of the biggest challenges is dealing with big emotions.

If you build a relationship with an HSP, it can also provide you with a challenge! Ultimately, everyone must take their own personal responsibility to improve self-awareness and manage their emotions.

But for any of you to support people with strong, sensitive emotions as they seek to learn and grow, here are some tips from my own experience as an HSP.

1. Meet people where they are

If your loved one is an HSP, it is important for you to feel their (elevated) emotions with him or her. Even if you're not an HSP, turn up your intensity a notch or two for their sake... Only for a short time.

Whether the emotions are anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, despair, or X, try to reflect them. Showing them that you understand X is a big deal -- because that's how they feel.

Your loved one will feel seen, heard and validated - you get the point. This will have a much better, natural calming effect than if you were trying to force them to calm down in the first place.

2. Deep feeling

When I'm really angry, sometimes I think the last thing I need or want is to get caught. Usually, when I'm still expressing big emotions, I don't want to be touched.

But once that's cleared away, I start to feel calm and relaxed, and a loving touch has a powerful positive effect. My husband has been learning to strategically reach out to me in gentle ways -- one hand on my hand, sitting close, with his arm around my shoulder -- until I'm ready for a full embrace.

Remember to hold that hug tightly for maximum effect! Bonus: Deep breathing. Together.

3. Practice active listening

Even if the extremes of your HSP emotions have abated, your HSP may still need to speak up -- a lot. Active listening doesn't just mean that you're quiet and your loved one is talking.

Active listening means you're emotionally engaged. Encourage small, relatively non-invasive physical contact, while the big tentacles are speaking out to be huge.

Other great little things you can do to make a big impact are

Maintain focused eye contact

Nod your head, "Umhmm's" and "ah-hahs" and all that

Ask short questions such as "How?" Or "Tell me more."

4. The gentle coach

Your HSP has calmed down and feels seen and heard. Now you are ready to start asking deeper questions to help them gain insight into why they are in such great emotional distress.

Restate what the HSP has shared about his or her emotions and thoughts. Say "So, I hear you say that you feel (disillusioned, irritable, belittled, etc.) and that you think it's your fault, that no one loves you, that it will never end, etc."

Get confirmation from the other person that you have understood them well. Then, ask them when they knew they had felt this way before. Work together to discover patterns to glean insights from experience.

5. It's right there

Your HSP wants to know that you are not scared, annoyed, or disgusted by their strong emotions - that you will not walk away from them when they need you most. Getting rid of those huge emotions is a huge testament to them that you really care about them.

They know that when they "feel great," they are sometimes not awesome. They know it's difficult, not how you want to spend your Saturday night.

But just sitting down with love and patience means a lot to the HSP and enhances their trust and security in you and your relationship.

6. Less is more

Don't be afraid of silence and long pauses, whether it's during an emotional outburst, a long hug, or listening or coaching. Don't worry about having a lot to say.

When your HSP is ready to talk, you are just a discussion facilitator anyway. Like you don't want to try to coax HSP suddenly feel uncomfortable as (everything is equal to "calm down", is almost at any time of the big moment you say the worst), don't try to force them before ready to deal with their emotions and thoughts, and don't provide early solution.

7. To let go

Your HSP may worry that they are a burden to you. They are consciously committed to better managing their sensitivities, and your strong support is helping them.

But no one is perfect (and they may suffer from perfectionism), and they can feel very self-aware after a lot of emotional triggers. After all that processing, your HSP really wants to let go.

He or she may feel a little embarrassed and may apologize. The kindest response you can get is to assure them that you love them and are happy to serve them. And move on like it's no big deal.

Leave word

Life as a highly sensitive person is not easy, and if self-awareness is low, high sensitivity and big emotions can be a huge burden. Remember to encourage and celebrate the HSP in your life as he or she deliberately seeks to better understand themselves and regulate their emotions.

HSP will never live within a wider range of emotions, and we don't want that anyway. However, by utilizing these seven techniques to help HSPS cope with emotional distress, you can successfully support your loved one's goal of better overall emotional management, and you may also reduce the duration and severity of your current emotional distress.