3 Reasons Men Lie

Story at a glance:

Why do men lie in the company of others?

Could it be an issue of Self Worth?

Emotional instability?

Personal power motivations?

The humiliation of truth

Solutions lie in self-worth and self-awareness

The social gathering — posturing for relevance

Recently attending a gathering with a group of husbands, I noticed how the posturing among males is very apparent. They create the perception that they each know exactly where their life is heading.

They are in full control of their destiny, and they know how they will reach that destiny.

They own stuff, expensive stuff, “boys' toys” and they impress everyone with the intricate knowledge of each of their toys and just how great their toy is versus all those out there that are similar. They know why they chose their specific model and why they made the best decision. Usually, these are the guys trying to justify their post-purchase dissonance, an actual condition.

“The post-purchase dissonance is, in addition to satisfaction, the second type of reaction of the buyer after the purchase. It is a direct reaction to the fact of making a decision about the choice of a given product, not the experience of its use. The phenomenon of dissonance is characterized by the fact that we have doubts about the product purchased and we wonder if there really was not a better choice, whether we made the right decision.”

Learn more.. https://ceopedia.org/index.php/Post-purchase_dissonance

The lies grow in magnitude

It is usually at this point that I drink a little more wine; I like red wine, and in this situation, I like it a lot! Not very masculine, but I cannot impress anyone with what I own, so I may as well not impress anyone with what I am drinking.

Then after the toys, comes the talk of the latest sporting event, whatever it is, and the opinions muttered are not original, but parroted opinions from the favourite sports reporter depending on the media channel, I know this because I heard the same words being broadcast earlier on the way to this gathering.

Then as the conversation runs out on sport, we move into adventures and challenges, beating of the chest of who did what in their younger day, a bit of name dropping here and there to ensure you remain relevant to the macho talk around the fire as the poor host sweats while turning the meat on the barbecue.

The tall stories surface, tales of survival or of inner-city conflicts outside of pubs, or road rage incidents, none of the men there being the instigators of the aforementioned conflicts, but always the righteous defender of the honour of their name or their family, or their wife.

The truth revealed

It is usually when the ‘hero’ is about to reach the climax of the story, that his wife appears and asks everyone what he is talking about. At this point, he tries to dismiss her with ‘ You probably don’t remember it, the road rage incident.’ She however remembers it and she tells a completely different story. The hero usually has two reactions. The first being that he argues his version to save face, or the second, he goes silent and blushes, as the truth comes to light.

“But Harry told us he went up to that other guy and threatened him?”

“No he never, he was wetting himself and we sped away when the other guy got out of the car.”

Harry was now wishing the world would swallow him up. I felt sorry for Harry because in our own minds we are each of us, the heroes in our own movies.

Motivations and solutions:

After years of observing such behaviour, I have to question what makes men want to impress others with stories, possessions, power posturing, macho maleness? Is it genetic, or is it a social dynamic?

Lying to impress can be to gain personal power

However, by lying one may in fact be giving away their personal power when the lying does not impress the people one is trying to impress

Emotional instability can trigger lying

To gain acceptance from others one may lie, however, if the lying does not achieve acceptance, one may find oneself trying to tell bigger lies to impress.

The cognitive dissonance of lying

One may feel bad internally for lying, but gain acceptance through the lies, or another outcome may be that the lying does not impress those that were once impressed by the lie

Learn more about pathological liars… https://www.healthline.com/health/pathological-liar#comparing-lies

The solution — Self Worth and self-awareness

Every person needs to understand that they have immense self-worth just for being themselves, everyone is an original, all you need to do is find your true self, and use your skills and talents, and interests to help others. Be the best you, you can be. Nobody else can fill the space you occupy in the universe.

Some of the above content is paraphrased from this site… https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/self-worth-why-do-some-people-always-try-to-impress-others