2021 Will Be My Messiest Year Yet

When you think of the New Year you envision Times Square full of colorful papers that will turn to a nasty mess in the rain or snow, a gym full of grunts, stares and Turkey day regrets, and the classic new years resolution. Every year I am one of those zombies. I rack my brain thinking of how to be a better me. I make a list and I stick to it for 4 months. Who am I kidding! I stick to it for 3 weeks all while sipping way too much wine, and then somehow it gets lost in the shuffle of everyday life only to rear its ugly head in my anxiety-ridden head during the final days of December. This New Year, I concluded that 2020 does not deserve that from me. It doesn't deserve it from any of us! A better me for a New Year? Meh. Not without a do-over for last year.

Allow me if you will to tell you a story that seems to be veering off track from above, but I promise if you stay with me, I will bring it all back. I decided to stop wearing weaves and started growing my hair out. Since I was stuck in the house during quarantine no one would see my trial and error as I stumbled through youtube video styling and more days than most ended up looking messy and crazy. I had all the fun! Creams, sprays, and leave-in conditioners stuck to the walls. All types of amazon hair products were ordered and tossed aggressively back into their boxes while chugging wine because Amazon happily accepts returns for the products that were total trash. My shelves overflowed and looked like a local CVS of black beauty proportions with the products that I found worked and loved. Now, these months of the messy head, hair all over the bathroom floor, braid appointments, and not enough gel could have certainly been the catalyst for my most recent breakup, but I digress. That's a whole other story that I just might write. If it was not the catalyst for that it was indeed the catalyst for one of my greatest realizations. I realized that I finally began to love my hair on the days when it was big, frizzy, and messy. Those were the days that I loved it the most. Ahh, you see where I'm going with this don't ya. The days I woke up, shook it, and let it be messy ended up being the days that I felt the most beautiful and confident and received the most compliments. I told a friend that I had a new hair theory, that I should and would never try and make my hair look perfect ever again. In turn....making my curly fro absolutely perfect for...well...me.

I think that we can all agree that 2020 was the worst year ever and certainly has been in my soon to be 40 years of existence. As my eggs slowly die one at a time I simply can not make that ever so popular resolutions list for new beginnings this year. I refuse! Instead, I'm on the cuff of a breakup, my small business is shot, and well, life is messy. I plan on making this my messiest year yet and I'm starting with a random trip to New Orleans. I'm booking it and yes, while there I shall quarantine for 2 weeks and then eat at every restaurant that I can in a mere 3 days until my heart is content. I plan to document every inch of my 2021. I'm booking a photoshoot while there just for the hell of it. Not because I'm a model or even an influencer. I'm not either. Simply because I want to have fun swinging from a light pole like in an old-time movie or have pics to show my children one day about the year that I said HOLD UP... I'm out of here! I'm going week to week and month to month and whatever my heart desires this year my little heart will get. Absolutely null and void of reason, within my wallet range and morals of course. That is my 2021 new beginning. I'm going to make it messy, and scary, and all types of ridiculous because that's the way towards a new beginning for myself. It's also the exact opposite of being stuck in the house from March 2020 to date in quarantine in fear of your life.