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12 Signs She's a Bad Girlfriend

If she's a bad girlfriend, it's time to cut your losses. She's not going to change, and you're just wasting your time.

By Rowan MarleyPublished 5 years ago 7 min read

I really can't stand seeing good guys with awful girls. It makes my blood boil, often to the point that I have to excuse myself before I make a smart comment.

Part of this is because I've personally seen the effects it has on men I've befriended, and part of it is because I just don't understand how these women keep getting lucky. There are plenty of decent women who would love to have a partner that keep getting passed up!

A bad girlfriend is often an abusive one—and can easily turn into a life-ruiner. Guys, I can tell you that there's no girl out there who is so good looking you have to put up with abuse from her.

Speaking as someone who was born female and has mostly male friends, I'm begging you guys to watch out for the warning signs. If it looks like she's a bad girlfriend, run. You can and will find someone better.

She regularly hits you up for money, demands presents, or acts like a gold digger.

When it comes to bad behavior that women tend to indulge in, there's few things more stereotypical than being a gold digger. We've all heard about the type of girls who will demand that you pay their bills, pay for fancy dinners, and won't give you the time of day if you aren't loaded.

She might look good, she might talk sweet, but guess what! Even if you are loaded, she's a bad girlfriend to have. This is because women who act like gold diggers never love their men; they love the money men give them.

Don't play their game. They act like they're too good for you because they are selfish, awful people. Once this type of lady finds someone more well-off than you, she'll leave.

You notice that she really doesn't like any of your friends.

Isolation is one of those tactics that is a trademark tool of abusers. It always starts off simple—a "Who is she?" or a "I don't like the way he talks to you."

Sooner rather than later, the girl you're dating ends up trying to get you to walk away from all your friends. She starts to pout when you go out with the boys. She purposefully ruins your nights with a bad attitude or an argument in front of your friends. She might even tell your friends she hates them.

There's a reason why the phrase "bros before hoes" exist. If she's trying to pry you away from all your friends, she's a bad girlfriend and you need to dump her.

Ask your friends what they think.

In most cases, your friends will notice when something's not quite right with your potential partner before you do. This is because we tend to wear rose-colored glasses around the people we fall for—and sadly, there's not much you can do when it comes to that instinct.

Ask your buddies what they think about the girl you're talking to, and use that as a gauge. If they believe she's a bad girlfriend for you, you might want to heed their warning.

She refuses to listen or apologize.

In any healthy relationship, both partners need to be able to communicate with one another. They also have to be able to admit when they're wrong, apologize, and be willing to compromise. This is not negotiable.

A person who cannot compromise, refuses to listen to you, or stonewalls until you crumble is not a person who's capable of actually handling a relationship in a healthy manner. Nothing you can say or do can fix this character flaw in your partner; she has to do it herself.

If she can't listen to you, or thinks apologizing is beneath her, she's a bad girlfriend. Moreover, you may need to rethink even talking to her since this is such a toxic trait.

When you need her, she's not really there.

You're always there for her, and she thanks you for it. So far, so good, right? Of course. You should be there for your girlfriend when she's going through things.

Then, you get sick. She's nowhere to be found. You get laid off. She tells you, "That sucks," and stops calling. When you need her to help you out with major tasks, you often find her backing away from you.

Sound familiar? If so, you're not dating a girl who will be your "ride or die." A girl who won't be there for you when it really matters is a girl who is not worth your time, money, or effort. Drop her. There are many ways to be a more supportive partner, and you'll find that life is a lot better without her.

She's become very controlling.

A controlling partner is a bad partner, period. It doesn't matter whether the partner in question is male, female, or non-binary. Controlling behavior should be a dealbreaker for you, especially since it's often the first sign of abusive behavior.

Does she need to know where you are every second of the day? Does she demand access to your phone, get icy when you refuse, and pout until you give into her? Does she throw tantrums about your behavior, demanding you cut people out of your life or else?

Yeah, no. Tell her that it's over. Studies show that controlling behavior only gets worse as a relationship progresses—and that means your quality of life will continue to decrease the longer you stay with her.

You're treated more like a servant than a boyfriend.

The ultimate goal when it comes to finding the right girlfriend for you should be finding a lady who is capable of having a healthy relationship with you. Part of being in a healthy relationship is feeling like you're appreciated by your partner.

Gratitude is way more important than you'd think, and if you've ever dealt with an ungrateful woman, you already know this. Take a look at the way your date treats you. Does she ever thank you for the nice things you do? Or, does she just keep ordering you around?

If she acts like you're there to serve her or treats you like an employee, she's a bad girlfriend. Get yourself a girl who is thankful when you do something nice for her.

The last person who should ever make you feel less than worthy or less than lovable is your girlfriend. Actually, she should be the first one to pick you up when you feel down. She should inspire you to be a better person, and also make you feel great.

If you notice that she regularly insults you, makes you feel uncomfortable with yourself, or otherwise lowers your self-esteem, she's not good for you. Love doesn't work out if it makes you feel like crap.

It's hard to hear, because she might not even realize that she's doing it. Even if she's doing this without trying to, it's a sign that she's a bad girlfriend for you.

It often feels like she's using you as a placeholder.

Admittedly, this could be a sign that you're very insecure about yourself, or it could be a sign of something far more worrisome. How you can figure out what's really going on is pretty simple—look at your girlfriend's actions and words.

A girlfriend who has a "placeholder" boyfriend will act like she's still on the prowl for Mr. Right. She will very likely openly flirt with your friends, stay active on Tinder, or just make sure you know that your relationship is only temporary.

She's a bad girlfriend if she's doing this to you. You deserve more than that, especially if you want to see her be the one you marry. By staying with a girl who sees you as replaceable, you are doing nothing but hurting yourself.

Guys, repeat after me: Emotional blackmail is not cool. Never has been, never will be. It's manipulative and controlling behavior that often tends to coincide with abuse.

Even if she makes you feel like the world's worst person, you can't allow her to act that way. If she's so miserable with you, or if you hurt her so badly, break it off—for both of your sake.

If she uses gaslighting and other abusive, toxic, negative behaviors to get her way, she's a bad girlfriend. Moreover, she's probably not that fun to be around, even if she loves you.

It feels like she often will pick a fight with you for no reason.

Bruh. If you notice this red flag, what are you waiting for?! Dump her! Life is way too short to be with a girl who goes out of her way to start drama for no reason.

Seriously. If a girl really needs to argue with you and goes out of her way to ruin your otherwise good day, why are you with her? Just because she can be good sometimes doesn't mean she's good for you.

You caught her cheating.

Cheating is incredibly prevalent in modern society, and some statistics say that the number of couples who have cheated in a relationship could be as high as 50 percent. However, this doesn't mean that you should forgive a lover for cheating.

If she cheated on you once, signs suggest she will cheat on you again (and there are signs your girl is cheating you should look out for). Needless to say, catching your girl cheating on you means that she's a bad girlfriend—and that you need to kick her to the curb.


About the Creator

Rowan Marley

Rowan Marley is a 20-year-old sports enthusiast who hails from Brooklyn. When he's not hitting up a local Zumba class, he's drinking organic smoothies. That's just how he rolls.

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