Sex Ed
Sex Ed

Sex Rules for People in Long-Term Relationships

Want to keep things fresh in your relationship? These sex rules for people in long-term relationships might be able to save you from infidelity, divorce, or boredom.

Sex Rules for People in Long-Term Relationships

Having a long-term relationship isn't easy. You will see your partner in ugly positions, and have to deal with lots of drama involving daily life. As bad as the drama and occasionally unflattering aspect of love can be, the truth is that most of those things can be overcome as long as you're both willing to work on it.

What most partners, even loving ones, seriously struggle with is keeping sex fresh, sexy, and desirable after years of being together. If you want to make sure you both want to keep at it for years to come, you might want to check out these highly advised sex rules for people in long-term relationships.

If you lose attraction to your partner, or if your partner is no longer sexually compatible with you, it's okay to leave.

I could tell you a million sex rules for long-terms relationships, but they won't do an ounce of good if you lose your sexual compatibility or if you dread having sex with your partner.

A relationship isn't going to be good for you or your partner if one partner isn't feeling totally satisfied with what's going on in the bedroom. In fact, it will quickly turn into a very unhealthy, very unhappy disaster.

If you are not getting what you want our of your long-term relationship, try to talk it over and work on a solution together. In many cases, an honest talk will be the spark that needs to be lit for a sizzling sex life.

If things revert back to a less-than-awesome dynamic or they aren't willing to make things work, leave. It's not fair to you or your partner to try to keep a relationship going that makes you both miserable.

Consent is always mandatory — and any attempts to push boundaries you don't want to cross should be grounds for an instant breakup.

Though this is a guide on sex rules for long-term relationships, this is always applicable to new relationships, old relationships, and one night stands, too. It's a golden rule of sex, and it needs to be followed all the time.

Just because you've been with them for 2 years doesn't mean you owe them sex if you don't want to have sex. Just because they're your husband doesn't mean that they need to agree to a threesome.

If you are feeling pressured, threatened, or worse, forced, into sex you don't want, it's time to leave your partner. If you feel like your partner is using sex like a weapon, it's time to leave, too. Love is respect, and what they're doing is not the least bit respectful — or safe.

If you're feeling stuck in a rut, brainstorm a method to become unstuck.

Sex will take effort to keep fresh over the years. There will be times when you will get stuck in a rut, and where you might not be down for the regular "missionary on Saturday night" treat. So, make a point to talk to your partner and try out some kinky things.

It doesn't have to be threesomes or swinging, but maybe you'd be willing to discuss BDSM with your partner, try some roleplay, or even something as simple as a new position once in a while.

Talk about things you like, and things you don't like.

This is one of the best sex rules for long-term relationships, and it's also one of the best ways to make sure you don't have sex problems later on. Communicating with your partner is key, and that includes talking as well as listening.

Listen to what your partner says they like, and listen to what they're willing to explore when they're in bed with you. In many cases, you might find out that they're a lot freakier than you thought they were.

Also, part of this rule includes finding porn you both like, sex toys you enjoy, and creating things that are absolute no-gos in terms of experimentation. That way, you establish boundaries and have an arsenal of things to keep the sex hot over the years.

Always make time for sex and date night.

A lot of people stop having sex after being together for so long, especially after kids are involved. This is why this is one of the most important sex rules for long-term relationships.

Dead bedrooms, a leading killer of marriages, always start with a small break from sex. While this may seem pretty okay at first, the truth is that it gets harder and harder to get back in the groove once you stop. This leads to resentment, anger, and even cheating.

To prevent a dead bedroom from happening, you need to make sure to take time to have sex with your partner and make sure they're taken care of in that department.

Keep your body looking good — for your partner.

As bad as it sounds, this is one of the most important sex rules for long-term relationships — if you want to keep your partner into you, anyways. We all have a tendency of getting complacent and stuck in our ways when we're with someone for a long time.

At this point, we may actually take partners for granted and expect them to always be there.

If you decide to "let yourself go," your long-term partner may leave because they no longer are attracted to you. You can't even blame them for doing this, either. Everyone needs to be at least moderately attracted to their partner in order for things to work.

So, if you want to keep your partner happy, make an effort to look good for them and keep the spark alive. It'll do wonders for the relationship, your sex lives, and for your own health, too.

Find ways to get sexy, even when you're not physically near one another.

Sex is a huge component of a healthy, happy relationship. If you two are long-distance as well as long-term, then you may need to figure out creative ways to stay intimate.

Kinky phone sex, sexy Skype sessions, and even investing in long-distance sex toys may actually make your love life doable — even if you can't actually touch one another that frequently.

Don't lie and say you're okay with things when you're clearly not.

One of the biggest sex rules for long-term relationships that most people ignore is the importance of speaking up when something is bothering you. Staying silent only makes these issues continue to worsen, and also causes resentment.

If you're wondering why this rule is so important, it's because resentment tends to lead to dead bedrooms — and a total loss of sexual attraction. So, speak up. Be honest. Talk things out. You'll find your long-term relationship will be a lot easier.

Understand the way attraction and healthy sex works — and what is, and isn't acceptable.

This is one of those sex rules for long-term relationships that can really help put things in perspective — and also can help you decide whether it's worth staying.

Sexual attraction will wax and wane as you spend more time with your partner. It's totally normal to have to work yourself up a bit before you get it on with your partner, and it's also normal to have to work on sex as a team.

What isn't normal is to have to beg for sex from your partner, to have to go without sex for years, or to have a partner who is unwilling to touch you. What isn't normal is to have a partner who threatens to leave if you don't do a specific act, refuses to listen when you say no, or cheats every other day.

What is normal is to feel happy and satisfied in the relationship — if, perhaps, a bit exhausted at times. What isn't normal is feeling like you're inadequate, unsafe, or scared of your partner.

If you have a normal relationship, great. Continue on. If your sex life or attraction to your partner stopped being healthy, then leave.

advice
How does it work?
Read next: 9 Non-Pornographic Films Starring Pornographic Actresses
Ossiana Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of New Jersey. This is her work account. She loves gifts and tips, so if you like something, tip her!

See all posts by Ossiana Tepfenhart