“If we act like prey, they’ll act like predators”

I get in these moods to hunt sometimes. No not hunting animals, never! I mean hunting humans. Haha! Let me explain. One night I went to my infamous bar and it felt like I just walked into a shit show. I walked into way too many bar patrons that I have ultimately fucked in the past under the same roof. Holy fuck! Do you want to know how many past fuck buddies there were? Not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, and not 5, nope there were 7! Seven? Holy fuck, is this an intervention was the first thing that came to mind. The 7 have been cut off in the span of the past 5 years and they make is obvious they think about me. The entire night, they came by one by one to say hello (I was actually there with my laptop typing and inconspicuously hunting for fresh meat). They talk small talk and try to test the water and get some pussy. I politely reject, say I’m working and next, another one comes along trying even harder. I didn’t like my options so No was the word of the night.

Ok, now that you have a mental picture of how that night started, you can only imagine the atmosphere and personalities in that bar that night. Remember I was in hunting mode, so previous fuck buddies that didn’t make the cut wasn’t something I wanted to do (I was actually in survival mode at this point and wanted to run away but I didn’t). Even though I don’t remember the reason I cut you off in many of the interactions, I’m still kind and flirty cause i knownI likes them at some point but cut them off for something. That’s enough for me.

Two hours later, I had four options. The three regulars that were texting or a new dick. First option was a skinny latin cop man (who isn’t really a cop but I’m convinced he is one). Let’s just say, I’m not fond of cops and given my lifestyle habits, they would end up killing me or getting me locked up. He had an interesting personality though. Sex was great, but I always felt like a therapist with him. Giving him optimistic advice and shit. I had to be in the mood for that one. My second option was the Trinadian that also has a great dick and sex drive, but had a dry personality that I had to be in the mood for that one too. Then there’s Human Vibrator. Human Vibrator is phenomenal sex and will alway supersede any dick I have met. One problem though, Human Vibrator is a businessman and wasn’t readily available when I wanted his dick. His dick keeps me sore for days (I know what you're thinking, why would anyone want that?), well I do! I feel fully satisfied after his sessions. Fourth option is someone completely new which you can’t predict because dick is unpredictable. It can last for hours or minutes, but you don’t know until you try it, right?

Guess what I did? I found myself a shiny new dick. A nine or so inch dick as a matter of fact. I thought it was a great choice, especially getting completely bored at that bar. Can you guess where I found this one? Uber duh. I love Uber drivers (I get lots of prospects from Uber, so I will never knock it). If you actually have a conversation with them and they are cute to look at why the fuck not? He ended up coming over and he was pretty impressive. Latin, tattoos, piercings, and a nice physique. But you know what I wanted to find out? How’s that dick? I served him a drink (cause at this point, Uber is no longer in service). Remember I have only seen this man from the back seat from our ride. I literally attack him and get on top of him while he’s sitting on the couch making small talk. Sucked his nice dick and got on top to get my way. I rode the shit out of that dick. My legs were sore and pussy even more. I fucked up my damn couch but fuck it, I bought another one LMAO. I saw the Uber driver two more times and then got bored. Let’s just say I picked up a good piece of meat for the intended purpose on intervention night….