Married 14 years. 2 kids later. Happily divorced and living the dream or is it a nightmare...
“A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive”
I have another secret to tell… have I told you guys that I have a thing for bartenders! Ok maybe that wasn’t the biggest secret I have told, LOL… If you have been following my stories, you have probably realized that I love drinking and duh, of course bartenders are my friends. Bartenders are amazing, but they can fuck you up if you love them too much.
“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
If you have read any of my previous stories, you would know that I love threesomes, with the right two people of course! But what happens when you are attracted to one of those people and the other is just a tagalong, a friend with him at the wrong time. Well I have been put into that situation a few too many times. Having a bad threesome is definitely not something anyone wants to talk about, but it’s a part of life and you really can’t determine if sex will be good or not with a person until you try it, right? Threesome or not. Life still goes on either way and there are some people that don't know how to fuck.
To each it's own, we are on vacation…
This lovely story is about my second trip to Jamaica (if you haven’t read the first one, go catch up, it’s called “Ten Men Waiting for Me at the Door? Send One of Them Home, I’m Tired” which was incredible to say the least) and a bit about a few friends that can't be taken for granted. On this trip, I went to Jamaica with a girlfriend that I absolutely love but never traveled together before. I’m very particular about travel buddies (I can’t travel with just anybody and actually be myself. Not everyone can tolerate me and vice versa). I’m going to call this friend “Crown Royal.” I met Crown Royal at a business event and we became close friends shortly thereafter. I must say it’s a blessing getting to know her. It’s been 7 years since we have known each other and we are closer than ever (especially after this trip)… I can tell her anything and I mean anything!! She judges sometimes, but that's okay because she is the real deal. Just like me! Big smile! She is my person I call on the daily and will most likely answer . You don’t get those types of friends in your life too often.
“I've been reckless, but I'm not a rebel without a cause.”
I avoid the news as much as I can, unless an ex-husband gets newspapers delivered, or a more technological man watches social media news constantly and I end up hearing it in the background. Which makes me believe I have to talk about the situation we are in as we are confined to one place. I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear and you might not agree with my perspective or feelings during this time. Fair warning here and remember I don’t watch the news and don’t discuss politics. Not because I don’t know what I’m talking about, more like I can give two fucks. You have to understand, I live in my world and in my world, there are no rules, no curfews, no restrictions, no discrimination... it’s just a happy place in my little world (with loud music involved). And I love it this way (always have)!
“I’m sorry you are so insecure about yourself that you have to constantly worry about every move I am making”
I have met a lot of crazy women an men in my lifetime, more than I would have liked to meet. Yes, we are all a little crazy and I'm okay with that. I'm talking more about the psycho bitches that will do anything it takes to get what they want. Let me elaborate...
“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”
You know what is the best thing in the world? Friendship. I mean it generally, like friendship with your children, spouse, women, girls, boys, men, animals, whatever your preference. All I'm saying is it’s essential. Having good (or bad) people you can confide in is a blessing. You know there is a “but'' in this situation though. Friendship means trust and trust entails a lot of effort. If you haven’t done so already, go read my prior stories so you can get a better picture of who I am. So when I meet people, I initially tell them not to love me. Seriously! You know why? Not putting a defense mechanism up, it’s more like I know what I want and don’t want. The sad truth is that most people end up loving you when you say that. Jesus... It’s like telling a child not to cross the street by themselves and they just want to do it more. Then how the fuck can you be mad at me for that? Get mad at yourself. There were rules and recommendations, and you decided against them. Not my problem...
“If we act like prey, they’ll act like predators”
I get in these moods to hunt sometimes. No not hunting animals, never! I mean hunting humans. Haha! Let me explain. One night I went to my infamous bar and it felt like I just walked into a shit show. I walked into way too many bar patrons that I have ultimately fucked in the past under the same roof. Holy fuck! Do you want to know how many past fuck buddies there were? Not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, and not 5, nope there were 7! Seven? Holy fuck, is this an intervention was the first thing that came to mind. The 7 have been cut off in the span of the past 5 years and they make is obvious they think about me. The entire night, they came by one by one to say hello (I was actually there with my laptop typing and inconspicuously hunting for fresh meat). They talk small talk and try to test the water and get some pussy. I politely reject, say I’m working and next, another one comes along trying even harder. I didn’t like my options so No was the word of the night.
"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”
I finally understand why women get caught up with abusers. I have had my share in my lifetime (definitely not by choice) but whatever it is what it is. My ex-husband was an abuser and if you know me I’m an abuser myself (to a certain extent). I have a good and bad side (sexual abuse or physical at times). This story tells the truth. Nothing to laugh about, but I truly believe that time heals all problems. So let’s get back to this poor ex-husband of mine that is still not over the breakup. He continues to wonder why I don’t want him back. Dude, I’m disgusted by you (if you know what I know, you would be too). Don’t want it (seriously), don’t want to deal with it and it’s no longer my problem!
“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.”
Have you ever been in a situation where you fucked up so bad beyond any return of dignity? This has happened a few times in my lifetime. Usually because I was sloppy and messy and didn’t really care about anyone’s feelings. Let me explain….
"You can stay, but your clothes must go."
If you know me, you would know the one thing I love the most is…. being NAKED! YES!!!!! If I could be naked all day long, I would be a very happy camper. But that’s not the world we live in and I don’t see that being acceptable anytime soon. Soooooo what’s the next best thing other than not wearing a bra and underwear? A nude beach of course!
Can men and women actually be friends without someone eventually catching feeling? Seriously though? Does it ever work out that way? In my opinion, I don’t think that’s possible but of course it all depends on the people involved, just never forget that we are all human (well, I have met some aliens in my day), but we are all mostly human. Humans tend to want more at some point either initially or down the line, but someone, either the man or woman, ends up wanting more out of that relationship. Think about it, you become so close with these “friends with benefits” and you end up getting sucked in somehow. Especially if there is great sexual energy!! Usually it starts out by getting to know them, what they like, what they don’t like, what turns them on/off, etc. These humans start to grow on you...You become comfortable with each other. You make each other laugh/cry/scream, whatever it is, but if they become true friends (ride or die shit), then they begin to accept you for who you are, your choices, your craziness, your flaws and downfalls, and they stick around longer than anticipated. There are many pros and cons to these types of friendships. Do you see how men and women really can’t just be “friends."
I have had many experiences with my own race and nowadays, I would have to give a hard pass to anyone in my race, especially in a serious relationship. OK, OK hear me out first. My father used to own a restaurant for many years and having dealt with them for many years of my life, our characteristics just don’t seem to work well together. As you can tell, I’ve been around the block more often than I can remember (I know that’s pretty bad, but it is what it is at this point) and I blame it all on my daddy issues (LMFAO)! No but seriously, because of that family owned restaurant, I would say I could have filled up a whole “jar of fucks” from the amount of people I got physical with from that place alone. I swear it felt like the girls in our family were being pimped out when we were working there. Dad had a weird way of protecting us...