I have a tattoo of my ex boyfriend’s name on my pussy

I was in an open relationship for about a year with a dude nine years younger than me. We had no rules, no boundaries, we were fucking just everything that moves, it was wild.

I think I had a phase of doing random crazy things that I never thought I would regret because it was so much fun in the moment.

I had plans of getting a few tattoos on my body. I only had one back then, on my hip, and I was thinking about getting the next tattoo on my pussy.

Two tiny little flowers, one on each side of my vagina, very close close my pussy lips (labia majora).

My ex had loads of tattoos - both arm sleeves, chest and stomach fully covered. He has his mom’s and sister’s names, his dead friend’s name, he even has his hometown’s ice hockey team’s name on his biceps.

When he would talk about his tattoos he would always say that he would never get a girl’s name tattooed, unless he had a baby with that girl.

When men say they would never do something with a girl, my brain only thinks about driving them so crazy to make them do that shit for me.

So it was happening, we had a tattoo appointment, the both of us, to have each other’s names tattooed on the same day.

He said he was gonna get it on his wrist, while I thought it would be a great idea to have his name done instead of the two flowers across my coochie.

When I told him the placement that I was thinking about for the tattoo, even he said that I was crazy. But I thought crazy was fun.

We both got the tattoos done in spring. He had my name on his wrist and I had his name on my pussy.

We broke up in five months after - I managed to cheat in an open relationship with no rules and he fucked his ex girlfriend. We both were hurt and angry.

After the breakup we would talk casually on the phone. He asked what I would do about the tattoo. I told him that I was planning to keep it.

He said I was saying that because I wasn’t dating anyone back then and that I would change my mind when I would be in a relationship. I didn’t agree.

I thought that the tattoo represented so much more than his name. It was a symbol of my crazy phase, a depiction of my wild personality and the expression of my freedom. I therefore didn’t care about anyone’s opinion about the tattoo. I would keep it even if I was in a relationship with someone else.

I was single for a year after the breakup. I dated casually. No man ever had any problem with the tattoo. Some would express their surprise. Many would say it was sexy. One guy even kissed the tattoo before eating me out (that was awkward).

Nobody that was considering being in a relationship with me asked me if I was planning to have it removed.

Only after I met my current boyfriend did I start thinking about actually having the tattoo covered up. This is because he took it very painfully after he learnt it was my ex’s name he was looking at every time we would get intimate.

It was hard for me to process when he told me how he felt about the tattoo. I felt like having the tattoo removed or covered up was too much to ask in a recent relationship. I thought that I would betray my beliefs and myself if I would do that for him.

After a while in the relationship I am ready to have the tattoo covered up. I feel like I should do this for my boyfriend. I however still have the feeling deep down that I keep scribbling my body to please a man. I did that then, and I’m doing it now.

This is why I want to cover it up with something meaningful to me - a tattoo that I would actually like and not just any tattoo that would serve to cover up my past.