How To Host The Perfect Sex Party

Thinking about throwing a sex party but not sure where to start? Well congrats, you've come to the right place.

Choosing Your Guest List 

Welcome to Chapter One of How to Host a Sex Party: Choosing Your Guest List. As the host of your first sex party, you, of course, want it to be a memorable and enjoyable experience for all involved. But you don't want it to be too large. So, how many people should you invite? 

Well, I find that a small and enjoyable gathering is best with around 10–15 guests who are trusted and compatible. This number provides the opportunity for meaningful interactions while also allowing for a sense of exclusivity and control over the event.

But how on earth do you choose who to invite, and what factors should you consider?  

Keep it legal 

This may seem obvious, but make sure that all guests are adults and able to give their consent to any activities that might happen. It is important to note that this is not just something that is legally required, but it is also a crucial part of organising an event in a responsible and ethical manner.

So, while you may have a naughty schoolgirl fantasy, no actual schoolgirls should be invited! And why are you talking to schoolgirls? 

Anyway, it's also good to keep in mind any legal implications or local regulations that might be relevant to your event. For instance, do you live in an area that allows private sex parties in residential spaces? If you rent a private house/Airbnb, do they have a policy in their contract regarding additional guests or parties? 

After all, you don't want the Airbnb owners knocking on your door in the middle of an orgy because you have unauthorised guests on the premises. 

Group dynamics 

Do you want the party to be couples only, or are you open to having single guys and gals too? Will the group's make-up be largely heterosexual couples, purely LGBTQ+, or a mixture of both? 

For instance, if you invite 3 gay men, 1 lesbian, and 4 heterosexual couples, the group will obviously have different sexual interests. That's not necessarily a good or bad thing. There's a good chance you will still have couples and singles who will play with each other or enjoy watching the action. But you also run the risk of someone feeling left out if they are the only one of their sexuality there and they don't connect on a sexual level with the rest of the guests. Not fun. 

Respect and boundaries 

Even though this party is going to be for adults only, some people never grow out of their teenage mentality. You don't want them at your party. 

Be sure to only invite people who have a good understanding of boundaries, consent, and privacy and who also show respect for these concepts. Guests need to be emotionally and socially mature enough to handle the various interactions and situations that may arise during the event. 

So, that guy you know from work who's a bit "handsy" (i.e., a sexual predator) is best left off the guest list. 

Discretion and trustworthiness

For the love of all things unholy, don't invite anyone who can't keep a secret! Choose guests who can keep the details of the event and the people attending it confidential and respect their privacy. I can't stress enough how crucial discretion is in fostering a safe space where everyone can feel comfortable and secure.

After all, no one wants to attend a party where their private details will be leaked all over social media, not even an exhibitionist like myself! 

Choosing The Right Place

Now we've come to Chapter Two of How to Host a Sex Party: Choosing the Right Place. 

But what constitutes the right place, and what considerations should you keep in mind? 

Privacy 

When it comes to hosting a sex party, privacy is paramount. In my experience, most guests would highly prefer to attend a venue that allows guests to come and go without attracting attention. So, while it may be convenient to have neon lights pointing to the door and a big banner over the house saying, "Welcome to the sex party," it probably won't go down well.

Likewise, if you are going to host at your house, you don't want your dogs barking every time a guest comes or goes, alerting all the neighbours to the added presence. So maybe, a doggy sleepover is on the cards with a friend who loves animals and payment for services rendered.  

Ample space

Further, when choosing your den of sin, make sure that the location can easily host the anticipated quantity of visitors. Whether you invite 8 or 15 people, a cramped space can really put a damper on the enjoyment and comfort of attendees. And don't forget to make sure there are enough beds and restrooms, and enough space for your guests to socialise, change clothes, and relax.

What's the right guest-to-bed ratio? I don't know, but I do know that if your apartment only contains a small sofa, two dining chairs, and a double bed, you should not be inviting 15 people over for a sex party. 

Further, when choosing a location, consider how much space will be available for private parking. If parking is limited, is there a nearby parking lot, or is the location convenient in terms of public transport? 

Décor

Whether you are using your own house or renting a space for the party, you have all manner of options when it comes to decorating for the party. 

Of course, you can simply choose not to decorate. After all, it's not a requirement but rather a nice touch. 

Thankfully, if you do decide to decorate, there are tons you can do on a limited budget. 

For something cheap and cheerful, use dim, soft lighting with candles or fairy lights to create an intimate atmosphere. If you don't want to use real candles but still want a soft glow, mix and match using different sizes and shapes of battery-operated candles to create an interesting visual effect. Place them strategically around the rooms to highlight key areas.

If you are willing to splash the cash, consider purchasing satin and/or high thread-count sheets for the beds and soft, comfy blankets for everywhere else.

House Rules and Guidelines

I can't be bothered with the chapter thing anymore. 

As a host, it is crucial to set some guidelines for guests to adhere to to guarantee a safe and pleasant experience for all. These guidelines can be unique to your party, but they also should ensure that personal boundaries are respected and do their best to establish a safe and respectful environment for everyone involved.

Consent is key

Let's kick things off with the golden rule: "No" means "no." Full stop. Period. End of story. You'd think everyone you invite gets this, but it never hurts to remind them.

Both you and your guest need to keep in mind that consent isn't always straightforward. Someone might be cool with kissing and hand jobs, but not want to take it further. Just because they say yes to one thing doesn't mean it's a yes to everything.

The same goes for couples getting it on in a play area. Just because they're having sex in front of people, it doesn't mean it's an open invitation for everyone. They might love being watched but not touched, or maybe they're okay with touching but not full-on penetration.

Everyone's got their own preferences, and couples might have specific rules about who they want to play with. Bottom line? Consent is explicit, it's fluid, and can be revoked at any time. Make sure to remind your guests of this at the start of the evening, include it on the invitations, and have printed guides available throughout the house. 

Thankfully, you don't have to reinvent the wheel for this, as there are plenty of videos and guides available.

Comfort zones

Everyone needs a little downtime now and then, particularly at a sex party. As such, it would be beneficial to designate specific areas where guests can take a break if they start to feel overwhelmed or simply need some space away from other people's genitals. Think cosy corners with cushions, blankets, and perhaps some soothing music. 

Stock up on safe sex supplies

Ensure that there is a sufficient supply of condoms, lube, sanitising wipes, tissues, and other safe sex supplies readily available in all the play areas. You can purchase these items in large quantities online or even pick some up for free at a nearby sexual health clinic.

No photography policy

No phones allowed! Granted, this isn't a rule in law, but it can go a long way in allowing your guests to enjoy the event without worrying about any unwanted photos being taken and shared.

During my parties, I usually ask people to keep their phones in their bags and designate a space, usually outside, where they can be on their phones. 

Final Tips

Lastly, as a host of many events and parties in the swinger/BDSM scene, here are some tips and tidbits I found useful that I'd like to share with you:

Invitations

When sending out invitations, make sure to clearly communicate the purpose of the event and include all the important details, such as the date, time, parking information, dress code, location, and any house rules that guests need to be aware of. 

If you want guests to bring their own alcohol, mention that on the invitation as well. Likewise, if you've decided you don't want any drinking going on at the party, be sure to state that on the invitation and the house rules. 

Dropouts

When creating the guest list and sending out invitations, you have leeway to add a few extra people to the list. This is because people will drop out before the party, and you will have no-shows on the night. Some of the dropouts/no-shows will be understandable, like the babysitter falling through on the night, the car being in the shop, the couple breaking up, or someone getting their period. 

On the other hand, you'll have some guests who won't show up and won't bother to let you know why. If you do decide to host another sex party, it'll be handy to note which particular guests did not show up without an explanation and then decide if you want to extend an invitation to them in the future. 

Food and drink

Sex burns calories, and your guests will be forever grateful if you provide finger foods and light snacks during the event. This doesn't have to be an elaborate or expensive spread. I often put out a variety of cheeses and crackers, grapes, chips and dip, nuts, veggies and some sort of dessert. All in all, it usually costs me around £20, including paper plates, cutlery, napkins, and cups. 

If you want to be a bit fancy, you can also treat your guests to a variety of cocktails and mocktails. If you are making alcohol available at your party, make sure to watch the alcohol intake throughout the night and ensure there is plenty of water and soft drinks available as well.

Co-hosts 

Depending on the size or type of event, I usually try to rope in a co-host or facilitator. This person can help oversee the running of the event, make sure that everyone follows the rules, and assist guests if they need any help. 

These co-hosts are usually someone I'm friends with or a boyfriend. And if I'm hosting an event where I'm charging entry, I'll give the co-host a share of the pot. It's best to be upfront with whoever you ask to co-host about the nature of the event, what you'd like them to do, and if there's compensation. 

Ice breakers 

I find ice breakers to be a great way to start the night and get people mingling and connecting. I use them for pretty much all of my events, and they can be very simple with little to no equipment needed. For a sensual event such as a sex party, sexy Jenga, naughty Bingo, and naked Twister have all been hits. 

Cleaning up 

There will be cum and other bodily fluids left about when the party is over. You can either put on your hazmat suit and clean everything yourself or hire a professional service to take care of the clean-up after the event. 

This is also a good time to say that if you decide to have the party at your home, leave at least one bedroom off-limits. The last thing you want when it's 4:00 am and you are exhausted is to have to find new sheets and blankets for your semen-covered bed.

Feedback 

If you enjoyed being a host and would like to do it again, consider asking the guests for feedback. You can provide feedback forms for guests to fill out during the event, or you can create an anonymous online survey. Additionally, you can inform people that they have the option to message or directly speak to you with their feedback. This will assist you in comprehending what aspects were successful and what areas could be enhanced for future gatherings. 

So there you have it, folks. Here's my step-by-step guide to hosting your first sex party. Happy hosting!