Satire

Putin at the Barber's
Putin goes to the Kremlin barbershop to get a haircut. While cutting his hair, the barber keeps asking and talking about the 'special operation' in Ukraine. Putin snaps, "You seem to be overly concerned about Ukraine... Don't you know what happens to people who are too nosy here in Russia? Are you insane? Do you wanna fall from a fifth floor window? Or drink a Polonium tea?" "Nope. I'm not concerned about Ukraine at all. Couldn't care less." "Then why are you asking all these questions?!" "Every time I mention Ukraine your hair stands up on end. Easier to cut."
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
BTVU
"BTVU" stands for Before The Vocal Update. This seems like forever ago, but I am now in Vocal poverty, when I used to be awash with coffee money from my Vocal earnings and tips, but thanks to Vocal deliberately locking the door on me and many others my coffee money has to come from other sources.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 4 months ago in Fiction
The Undulating Field. Top Story - September 2023. Content Warning.
This is for Mother Combs "Twisted Endings" Challenge that you can read about here The Undulating Field I had a restless night and kept getting up for some reason, but I don't know why. Eventually, I decided I might as well just get up, so went to the bathroom shaved, cleaned my teeth, took a shower, took drugs and got dressed. It was six in the morning, and I was on holiday, so there was no need for me to be up at this unearthly hour, but I was and went to the kitchen and made coffee, instant, with oat milk in the microwave.
By Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred 4 months ago in Fiction
Big, Beautiful Tollbooth
Like a toddler, Trump has a history of messy exits from the places he loses interest in: The Atlantic City, Syria, Afghanistan, etc. He just ups and leaves. Bibi, seeing that Trump is about to quit Iran, calls him:
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
Essentially a tool
“You cannot hope to be successful as a writer without one of these, nowadays.” I stared at the little device with a disproportionate amount of diffidence. It didn’t look like much – a black box with rounded edges, a black screen, a few lines to mark where the buttons were. Just the latest slim-looking gadget funded by some tech billionaire. It reminded me of the early iPods, which was only indicative of how out-of-touch with modern trends I was getting.
By M.4 months ago in Fiction
A Toast to the World’s Greatest Nation
[Clinks glass] Wow. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? We’ve finally reached 250 years. After first the Civil War and then the past 10 years, it didn’t seem like we would, but we did. Now we only have, what, another 150 years until we match the British Empire’s record? And 1,230 years until we reach the Roman Empire’s?
By Stephanie Hoogstad4 months ago in Fiction
A Toast to the Freest Nation on Earth
Please raise your glasses. And your phones, because someone's definitely live-streaming this. To America: 250 years young, perpetually arguing, occasionally brilliant, and somehow still here. We were born telling a king where to stick his crown, which is a genuinely remarkable origin story.
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
Kid's Questions
Putin visits a middle school. Trying to be friendly, he said, "Ask me anything, I'll answer all your questions." Vanya raised his hand, "I have three questions. First, who killed Litvinenko? Second, why are people in Russia so poor? Third, who poisoned Navalny?"
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
"Am I Not Immortal?"
Author's note: On June 30, 2026, Vladimir Putin of Russia attended the funeral ceremony for Sergei Ivanov, Russian ex-Defense Minister and one of Putin's closest friends and allies. Putin spent about half an hour near the coffin. He was observed laying a cross on himself and moving his lips, as if in a prayer. As an experienced lip reader and occasional supernatural voice registrar, I have transcribed this conversation for you:
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
THE FRIENDLY WOLF. Content Warning.
THE FRIENDLY WOLF January I first see her standing outside the school gates. Her hungry-looking blue eyes glaze over at me under large spectacles. Her big, smiling white teeth show sweet concern. I am sure most of the world would have found her a charming, sweet, gentle woman. But even in that first instant, my intuition screams a multitude of red flags. I long to pick up Josh and flee, even though he is becoming too heavy to carry. I groan inwardly as she walks towards us.
By Rio Harps4 months ago in Fiction
Autumn Leaves
Dean Benedetto walked over to his favorite spot at 'Zito' Park, a green park bench seated under an old Spruce tree. He looked at the orange and brown leaves on the ground and sighed. He took a deep breath, let the air fill his lungs, and then exhaled.
By John Scipio4 months ago in Fiction
Liberty, Equality, Swimwear
Jean and Marcel were getting ready for their shift at the municipal pool when they overheard an exchange that stopped them both in their tracks.
By Paul Stewart5 months ago in Fiction