A Toast to the World’s Greatest Nation

[Clinks glass]

Wow. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? We’ve finally reached 250 years. After first the Civil War and then the past 10 years, it didn’t seem like we would, but we did. Now we only have, what, another 150 years until we match the British Empire’s record? And 1,230 years until we reach the Roman Empire’s?

Anyway, I’d first like to toast our brave men and women in uniform. Fighting so many senseless wars and “military actions”, all because they have a sense of duty to this country that goes above and beyond the average citizen. We wouldn’t be here without you.

Next, to Congress. Wise enough to know when to cover their own hides and dig their heads in the sand, acting as if nothing that is going wrong in this country is their fault.

Then to SCOTUS. Don’t worry; we can see how good you still are at protecting your own interests, no matter what the führer—I mean President—has over you.

Finally, to the one who Made America Great Again, President Trump. He surely has run this country like he runs his businesses—right into the ground.

Here’s to another 250 years—or maybe days…

Author’s Note: This toast was for Lana V. Lynx’s Raise a Glass to America Challenge, which can be found below.