Satire
Yellow & Keisha Gail
Everybody in southeast Queens knew the bright yellow dollar van before they knew the man who drove it. They called him Yellow not because of the van, but because of his complexion. He was a very light-skinned African American man , with golden undertones that seemed to glow in the summer sun. Ever since he was a little boy, everyone had called him "Yellow," and the nickname stayed with him into adulthood. The fact that he drove a yellow dollar van through Jamaica, Queens, only made the name fit even better.
By Violet Hamilton4 months ago in Fiction
Stalin and a Fortuneteller
Stalin's assistant enters his office, "Comrade Stalin, there is a man here who wants to see you about something important for our great country. He claims to be able to see the future with perfect accuracy!" Stalin takes a puff from his pipe, and gives his order, "Execute him." The assistant passes the order. Minutes after, the man is executed. Later, the assistant asks obsequiously, "Comrade Stalin, why did you order that man to be executed?" Stalin looks at him calmly and responds, "If he could really see the future, he should have seen this coming. I can't stand charlatans."
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
Three Sandwiches
“At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches” * Senator T.C. R. Noble: So, it was really hot and Old Man Keller’s funeral was the biggest event in town and Madame Curry’s bakery provided all the fixings for a feast for the parishioners. What we didn’t know was that the Gordon Sisters (you know who) would be there to inhale so much before anyone could even see the tables that you would hear stomachs grumbling from here to Nashville. That made a lot of people really red in the face and hot in the head so there were fists flying, legs kicking and even dogs got into it. Poor things kept getting chased away from the tables like it was their fault and my own Rufus…he got hurt. Now, I don’t care what they do when they have a funeral in my church and they are all respectful, but when they go after the dogs, I have to put my foot down! I know that you are going to handle this in court, but don’t forget the rest of us who are just trying to do God’s will and remember the miracles and the loaves and fishes. Maybe if people remembered that they had to share things out, these things wouldn’t happen. And maybe if the judges in this state actually gave us a number – something like the Trinity – there would be real peace when a life passes on.
By Kendall Defoe 4 months ago in Fiction
Putin Traveling to Kyiv
Putin was riding to Kyiv incognito when suddenly his driver hit and killed a pig near a farmhouse. Putin told the driver to go into the farmhouse and apologize to the owners. Several hours later, his driver staggers back out, disheveled and happy, holding a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, and a cigar in the other.
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
Delayed Arrival
After Beelzebub and Alexa had their fun with Stalin and St.Ronnie, Beelzebub said, "I'm starting to get bored with this game. I mean, how many rounds can we have with the same set of dictators and nasty humans? I'd like someone new. What are our freshest arrivals?"
By Lana V Lynx4 months ago in Fiction
