Satire
Last Call for Mars
“Last call for Generalissimo Elon Musk. The rocket departs in two minutes! Last call for Generalissimo Elon Musk.” Elon heard the announcement from the interplanetary rocket, which made him curl up into a fetal position on a bench at the very edge of the spectators’ bleachers at Cape Canaveral. He’d thought there was no better place to hide than in a crowd of enthusiastic humans eager to send him to Mars. Upon the announcement, Elon’s whole life was flashing in front of him in his memories.
By Lana V Lynx2 months ago in Fiction
Mental Appointment
Notes after a cleaning: Patient has been keeping his ego in check, although his id needs some work. Charisma seems to be worn down (maybe a little confidence on prescription would take care of this). Pride and self-respect are cleaned up a little bit more than last time. Upper guilt on the left and the right are all acting up. May need to look at a realignment of chakras and aura work. Switching to Jung from Freud seems to be doing its job. In six months time, we will look at possible mood canal work. Will see in February.
By Kendall Defoe 3 months ago in Fiction
The Brighter Tomorrow. Content Warning.
In the weeks that preceded the most important speech of my career, the last call for change I would utter, I, Jeremiah Williamson, had worked tirelessly to gain traction in the polls and to appeal to the disenfranchised and mismanaged and maligned.
By Paul Stewart3 months ago in Fiction
🖤 CASE FILE: “The Infraspinatus Incident”
Victim: You. Again. Perpetrator: A small, spiteful demon living just beneath your right scapula. Modus Operandi: Initiates with a burning twitch or a POP — like bubble wrap from hell Follows up with a creeping numbness down the lateral arm May whisper threats to the hand: “You’ll never grip a goblet again.”
By Jesse L Shelley3 months ago in Fiction
The Dictator's Sons
With all apologies to the Grimm Brothers... I Once upon a time (and once too many), a tyrannical dictator was given the news he dreaded. His doctors, who once told him that he was the healthiest man alive, had pronounced that he only had a few days left. After dispatching his doctors to the wall for execution for being honest about his condition, the dying dictator came to realize that his legacy had to continue in one form or another.
By Dean Traylor3 months ago in Fiction
Can AI Dummy Down the Constitution?
What if the Constitution had been written by AI; or dumbed down into simple language? We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
By Andrea Corwin 3 months ago in Fiction
Smooth Criminal Astrologers
There are men who arrive in Canada with two suitcases, a university transcript, three winter coats insufficient for the winter, and such an honest terror of government forms that they preserve every receipt for seven years; and there are other men who arrive with one suitcase, no winter coat at all, and nevertheless seem from the first morning to understand that humanity itself is a receipt which, if folded correctly, may be presented for reimbursement.
By ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR3 months ago in Fiction
