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Great White

Evil waters

By Lamar WigginsPublished 5 months ago Updated 5 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - October 2023
44
The Jaws of death Dall-E

Written for the Vocal+Assist Lost in a Story Challenge. Find all the details below.

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"You're gonna need a bigger boat!"

Those were the words no one wanted to hear. My soul left my body in that instant to search for a way out. We were miles from shore with major engine problems and were being hunted by a great white shark. It made me wonder why humans ventured out into such dangerous elements. We cannot breathe under water, we don't have wings, yet our thrill-seeking ways test the limits of our fragile anatomy time and time again.

The shark knew we were an easy target. He could smell the blood, sweat and tears we leaked into the waters.

"Lamar! You need to keep it together, man! We're going to survive this if we make a fearless effort.”

“You’re asking a helluva lot captain Spriggs! I’ve never been on the menu before. I don’t know what to do! There is no place to hide from this!”

“Exactly! You’re going to die if you don’t help us!”

“This is precisely why us black folk don’t take jobs like this! I belong on land and that shark is big as a bus! Let me think for a moment... I might be able to rig the engine.”

There was no time to think. The shark returned with a vengeance. We all watched as razor sharp teeth emerged from the water and slashed through the fiberglass stern as if it were made of tin foil. Captain Spriggs heroically tried to spear it, unfortunately his bravery cost him his life.

Two of us survived but not before being traumatized by an animal with no intentions of bargaining. The orange smoke flare we set off led to our rescue by a cargo tanker. It was an absolute miracle. That maniacal shark is still out there. He craves human flesh...

Swim at your own risk Dall-E

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HorrorMicrofiction
44

About the Creator

Lamar Wiggins

Creative writer in the Northeast US who loves the paranormal, mystery, true crime, horror, humor, fantasy and poetry. Take a chance, you'll be thoroughly entertained.

"Life is Love Experienced" -LW

LDubs

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (38)

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  • D. ALEXANDRA PORTER5 months ago

    🍿 This was fun! I could feel myself settling back, getting ready to see if you got eaten. 😊 I read it earlier in the week but did not have time to comment. I doubled back to congratulate you on a humorous job well done!!! 👏✍️👏

  • Novel Allen5 months ago

    Why you finish just as I sat back to watch the show. Dang micro fiction. Reallly a great read. Congrats

  • M5 months ago

    Dang it Captain Spriggs!! I enjoyed reading your story and felt like I could visualize each moment.

  • Naveed 5 months ago

    Congratulations on your Top Story

  • Real Poetic5 months ago

    “This is precisely why us black folk don’t take jobs like this!” 🤣🤣👏🏼

  • A. Lenae5 months ago

    Ooh this was fun! "Traumatized by an animal with no interest in bargaining" - such a great throwaway line, highlighting the quippy and personable voice in this. I want more suspense from Lamar's point of view - this is golden, and I loved it!

  • Jay Kantor5 months ago

    ‘L’ - You’ll hear from Starkist on this one. btw; you suggested that I invoice ‘Gravy Train’ since I boosted their sales with my Doggy-Schtick Story and they just kicked me in my Caboose! — So Bite Me — J-bro-bud

  • Grz Colm5 months ago

    I knew you were going to be in the story, but for some reason I cracked up when you said “Lamar you need to keep it together!” 😆 A fun micro! 👍 & nice job on top story too. 😊

  • Sanni omowunmi5 months ago

    I love the story

  • Raymond G. Taylor5 months ago

    Great story and not a polo shirt in sight (you'd need to read the book) congrats on the TS!

  • L.C. Schäfer5 months ago

    Very glad to see this one get T.S.! 😁😁 Well done!

  • Story Room5 months ago

    So good! Awesome, I loved your story!

  • Lena Folkert5 months ago

    Oh man. This was hilarious. The shortness of it made it all the better. Well done. And congrats on TS!! 🥳💕

  • Shirley Belk5 months ago

    Lamar, I loved your story!

  • Mattie :)5 months ago

    So good! Awesome Lamar! Fun micro story.

  • Kendall Defoe 5 months ago

    I am black, and I almost picked Jaws for my piece, and I am glad I did not! You made me laugh out loud at this...and it makes me think how some classic horror films would be much shorter with all-black casts. Get off that boat, Lamar! ;)

  • StoryholicFinds5 months ago

    great story, congrats ❤️

  • Lol 😆 “You're asking A Hellavu Lot”- Great job and Congratulations on your Top Story🎉🎉👍😉

  • Dana Stewart5 months ago

    So glad you weren’t ‘on the menu’ Lamar. Nice story for the challenge. I haven’t seen that one but will check it out.

  • Donna Fox (HKB)5 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story!!

  • Alexander McEvoy5 months ago

    Awesome Lamar! Loved how clearly you brought forward the character’s personality!

  • Jazzy 5 months ago

    This was so good! I loved the "i havent been on the menu before" Congrats!!!!

  • Cathy holmes5 months ago

    Congrats on the TS

  • Donna Fox (HKB)5 months ago

    That was thrilling, engaging and so well written! Great work Lamar! I was held captive by your words and unable to look away as the tense continued to build in the story! Nicely done!

  • Meg5 months ago

    Enjoy reading this! Great story!

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