Choosing Yourself For The New Year

Delta was so over the past year. They couldn’t wait for the clock to just strike midnight already so they could leave it all behind. While they knew that time was just a nonsensical concept humans invented to give meaning to their existence, they were ready for time to move on.

The past year had thrown every stupid event and person at them; from work to relationships, to even silly injuries. It just wasn’t a lucky year. They’d been beaten down so many times, quite frankly they were surprised they still had the strength to get back up.

But Delta made a promise to themselves in the last hour of the year, that 2020 would be different.

No longer would they put up with ridiculous coworkers who had no boundaries. From now on, they’d keep a 6-foot distance (horizontally, not vertically of course). No more Daphne from accounting eating from their plate. No more Doug from marketing getting too close for comfort. And definitely no more Sicily popping over to their desk every morning reeking of a night out and filled with stories no one wanted to hear.

Delta had decided that it was time to take their social health seriously, and they were done with all the nonsense.

They had also decided that they were done giving their semi-precious time to the disastrous dating scene. The amount of dud dates they had been on in the last few months was embarrassing to say the least. At this point it was easier to join a nunnery. It’d probably be safer too. There were definitely a few sketchy moments where Delta was glad they’d shared their location with friends. Luckily they knew to always meet first dates in public places.

Speaking of public places, Delta wanted less of those too. Besides people just being too much of a hassle in general, they had grown tired of the looks. If they could afford to move somewhere else, they would have ages ago. And one day they would make it out of there. But for now they needed to stick it out at their crappy job with their crappy coworkers. But one day, maybe even this year, they’d find a way to get out. They dreamed of moving to the city, to a bigger place where their identity didn’t inconvenience every other person. It wasn’t fair that their identity was someone else’s problem in the first place. But at least in the city they’d find more community. They craved community; a sense of belonging. And it had been exhausting negotiating their existence along with the cost of living.

Delta knew what they wanted, but also knew that patience was a strength-based game, and they had been practicing their whole life.

They hoped for one thing for the coming year though, and that was to try to be gentler with themselves. It was a big ask of anyone, but Delta had begun to grow tired of constantly fighting themselves. At a certain point, they supposed anyone would get tired of the self-battle and self-sabotage. They had begun to outgrow the “Delta” distaste. If they were actually going to bother with life, they might as well try to make it a tad easier on themselves; the world worked against them hard enough. Why be your own enemy when so many others already do it for you? So, they decided on gentleness, a gateway to self-compassion. And if that meant they’d have to brainwash themselves into self-content-ness then so be it.

Though each goal was a big ask, Delta felt a calmness descend over them as they stirred their coffee into the new year morning. Coffee wasn’t usually the best for their anxiety, but some things were easier to give up than others. So they chose to give up cringing in the mirror over coffee. You win some, you lose some.

~

I hope you enjoyed this New Year delayed cause I procrastinated flash fiction story. This story was written thanks to a prompt from Reedsy.com where you were asked to write a New Years Resolutions List in the form of a story.

Reedsy gave me a week. I took two. Nowhere in the story did I mention better time management so...

I also decided to write this story set in the end of 2019, just so I could theoretically screw over my main character as we know how 2020 turned out. Sometimes I feel like we all had high hopes at the end of 2019. But boy did things go shi-sideways a few months later, eh?

But now as we enter 2024, and things are still shit-ways, there are still some positives. And if you've made it this far (whether in the story or in life), I hope you've gained some tools to help (re)build some dreams.

Cheers to hope.