A Motherless Child

I was a motherless child, then a childless mother. There's symmetry in that, no? And then there was her, and she was a motherless child as well. Maybe that is why something in her sang to me, and why my heart vibrated with it.

I watched her when I thought she didn't know (of course she did). She sat and watched TV like any kid. She'd rub the cotton of her pyjama bottoms between her thumb and forefingers absently, as if for comfort, a grubby bunny jammed in her armpit. When she stretched her lips in a smile, it looked fake, but sometimes they twitched in a way she seemed unaware of.

I scooped her up, all those years ago, and I became the thing I despised: I deserted. I tore off my uniform and my stripes, I wrapped this ramshackle little home around us, and became something I never thought I would: a mother.

I've watched her, year after year, my hair greying and the skin on my upper arms loosening, while she sits and watches cartoons and ferrets about in a nostril. Sometimes, when the house was still, I fancied I could hear her ticking.

In the early hours of this morning, the thing I'd feared and waited for finally came knocking. The instant my eyes opened I knew. I went to her room anyway, and sobbed at the sight of her empty, crumpled sheets.

In the kitchen, she turned around and regarded me with shrewd eyes, a knife in her hand. I searched her face for warmth, and found none. I'd been so sure that if I could believe she was a little girl, really treat her like one... love her like one, like my daughter... then it might be enough. As if love could override base programming.

Aren't we all a product of programming, though, one way or another? It could have worked.

She sliced the skin away from her forearm, and fished out the device with sticky red fingers. Not blood. Not real blood.

We hovered in an endless moment. I wasn't sure what she'd do. Maybe she wasn't either.

"B-b-baby? Please don't. Put it down. For me. For Mama."

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Word count: 366

Submitted on 9th January at 00:06 AM

* * Author's Note * *

As always, thank you for reading! Please leave a comment to make it easy for me to reciprocate.

The story behind the story: I'm writing a story every day this year. Hard to believe it's been a week already! This one makes an 8 day streak. I'll link to the others below.

The Prompt: A story about a child orphaned by war. I intended to submit this one on the 6th, for the World Day of War Orphans, but I've been sat on it because I wasn't sure I hit my own brief. I'm still not sure. I also made a mistake in the subtitle and labelled it the 8th, not the 9th - oops! Going to see if I can fix that now.

If you are joining me on this "story every day" adventure, or if you write something with this prompt, please leave a link in the comments.

JANUARY MICROFICTIONS

Here are my micro fictions so far this year:

1st - A New Beginning

2nd - The Other Guy

3rd - One Day, I Just Disappeared

4th - The Wages of Sin

5th - Where Am I?

6th - A Visit to Nana's

7th - Honour and Obey

8th - Another Life

Edit: Please consider reading Jennifer's and Rachel's pieces for today.

Jennifer isn't doing Microfiction madness, but is committing to an article every day, and there have been some bangers!

Rachel used the title prompt "Hidden Faces" for this micro. Enjoy!

I'll come back and edit to leave more links to people taking part 😁