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A Jolly Holly Half Dead Holiday

A Vocal+ Assist Hallmark Prompt

By Oneg In The ArcticPublished 4 months ago 3 min read
Artwork by allee

Zomboi had been feeling the pressures to conform for much too long out in the big city. Everyone was always rushing somewhere, aggressively ignoring his limp and slow swagger. It wasn’t Zomboi’s fault that his limbs were barely held together, but he still tried to keep up.

He’d cross the street when the light was green like everyone else, and swayed in his spot when the light turned red. It wasn’t his fault that the light was only green for a short time and that he’d often get stuck in the middle of the street; cars honking at him to move as he growled back. Red light meant stop, so he did, he was just trying to follow the rules. But that just seemed to piss everyone off so much more. Cars would swerve around him as drivers and pedestrians alike would yell at him to “get out of the f-ing way.” All he could do was growl back in frustration.

Zomboi had had enough, and as the season got chillier and everyone but him dawned thick coats that housed too-sweet stenches, he realized that he needed a change. So, he awkwardly limped through traffic, backyards, and busy parking lots until he reached the edge of the city. The stars began to twinkle brighter than the annoying blinking billboards, and he found himself craving the quietness of the outskirts even more.


Zomboi didn’t totally know where he was heading, but the faint scent of decay seemed to pull him further away from the city. It definitely took him long to reach the source of the decay, and when he had finally arrived at the massive pit of putrid flesh, he himself looked not too far off from the same. His once mostly-stitched work shirt was now frayed and torn. His pant cuffs were shredded, and he had lost his shoes (and a toe or two) along the way.

But he didn't mind, his stomach had taken control and he finally felt as if he'd come home. Home was a pit of rotting flesh.

As he shuffled closer he realized that he was not alone. Not far from him on the left was another figure digging into the pile with a passion.


The disgruntled figure looked up in surprise, brain juice dribbling down their chin. He couldn’t have looked more attractive in the moment, and for a moment Zomboi almost forgot about their crave for human flesh. Almost.

Zomboi shifted closer toward the wide-eyed stranger and slowly lifted their hand to wipe off some of the brain juice off their chin. Zomboi brought their hand to their own mouth and licked it, never taking their eyes off the stranger. It tasted delicious.

The zombie looked back towards the rotting pile of flesh and dug into it with their crusty sharp nails. Scooping up a handful of bloody mush, they lifted it towards Zomboi hesitantly.

If Zomboi had a working heart, it would be have been pounding. He grunted and leaned forward, eating out of the zombie’s palm. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for Zomboi, probably ever. He felt so… seen.

After he was done, he looked back towards the pile of flesh, searching. When he found what he was looking for, he waded into the mess, ignoring the other decayed bodies at the edges. He reached towards the middle and dug until he managed to grab the freshest, pinkest body; knowing it would be the juiciest and still warm. The freshest flesh was usually buried beneath the ones that got crispy from over-exposure.

As he waded back, he could feel the zombie staring intensely at him. Was it passion? Was it lust? Was it hunger? Or could it be love? Could zombies even feel love?

Zomboi slowly offered it to the stranger, and as the zombie crunched down on the fresh skull and cracked it open, his eyes remained on Zomboi. Without even slurping out the brains, he then offered half first to him. And together, they slurped the brain matter as the flys buzzed and the stars twinkled brightly above. This is what Zomboi had been truly craving.

Zombie Love.

By Ryan Hutton on Unsplash

Thank you for reading this super weird story that I wrote. This story was written for the Vocal+Assist December Prompt, posted by River Joy and the Vocal+Assist admin team.

It started out with a joke in the comments and then everyone wanted more, so here’s the result of the weird holiday hallmark movie with a twist! Definitely let me know what you thought of it in the comments.

Short StoryHumor

About the Creator

Oneg In The Arctic

A storyteller and poet of arctic adventures, good food, identity, mental health, and more.

Co-founder of Queer Vocal Voices

Some other rad writers to check out:

James ❄️ TheDaniWriter ❄️ Melissa

RiverJoy ❄️ J. Delaney-Howe ❄️

Water is Life ✊

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Comments (9)

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  • Test3 months ago

    Great story. I enjoyed it thoroughly!

  • Novel Allen4 months ago

    Ugh zombies. Makes my OCD act up. Yeesh! such a putrid, smelly heck of a story. Zombies.....Yucky yum.

  • Mother Combs4 months ago

    I laughed-snorted so loud the dogs looked at me. Love it.

  • River Joy4 months ago

    Oh this is so much fun. Yay. I'm glad you wrote it. :)

  • Awww, that's like that most putrid (sweetest) zombie story! I love how Zomboi stopped when the light turned red because he wanted to follow the rule! So adorable!

  • A fun read for certain!!! Good work, Oneg!!!

  • A Maulmark Classic if ever there was one. Fantastic take on the prompt, Oneg!

  • Donna Renee4 months ago

    Omg this was amazing 🤣😍

  • Melissa Ingoldsby4 months ago

    Ohhh zombie love my favorite 🎉💘❤️

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