Shaming Fat People

“I’m fat because a tiny body can’t store all this personality.”

I grew up before body-positive messages from celebrities were a thing. I didn’t have big, beautiful, confident people telling me I could be overweight and amazing at the same time. There were never any anti-fat-shaming seminars or assemblies at school telling everyone that being overweight might be a sickness or eating disorder brought on by mental trauma.

And there were definitely no memes or slogans like “I’m fat because a tiny body can’t store all this personality.” Maybe if there were, I would be a healthy body size. Or maybe if I had listened to all the fat-shaming I was exposed to, I would have worked harder to get in shape.

But I didn’t listen.

Quite the opposite, actually. I was belittled by classmates, teachers, and even my family about my pudgy face and chunky frame. I was told that being fat meant you were ugly, lazy, useless, and would most probably die early and alone.

And then after that shaming, we went out to Chuck. E. Cheese to eat pizza and drink pitchers of Coke.

Every television show, commercial, magazine, and poster only has skinny, good-looking people telling us what we should be doing with our lives. Followed by the adverts of the newest and jam-packed Mc Something only available for a limited time.

But still, the shame continues.

Instead of taking that shame and using it to change, I further fell into that hole of depression, over-eating, self-deprecation, and low self-esteem. And the more I got fat-shamed, the more food and temptation I was given.

Obesity In Children

Healthy body weight issues have been a problem for me since elementary school. And I know I am not the only one. According to the CDC, obesity affects 13.7 million children and adolescents in America. And some of the causes of this obesity they state seem to be things like,

• genetics
• lack of physical activity
• high-calorie, low-nutrient foods, and beverages
• spending too much time on sedentary activities such as watching television or other screen devices
• medication use
• sleep routines

That list is almost like a To-Do list from my daily childhood life.

In terms of my behavior and daily life in my youth, I hated sports and never really participated in any activities. Mostly because I wasn’t very skilled, didn’t know or care to learn the rules, and felt like I would suck at anything active so was too scared to try.

It didn’t help that I always got picked last if at all during gym class and always hid in the back of the changing room when changing into my gym clothes to avoid ridicule and poking of fingers into my fleshy stomach by other kids.

I didn’t have a bedtime so slept late into the night, watching television or playing my Nintendo Entertainment System. And my parents weren’t very strict or even attentive to the needs of their children as they were poor immigrants working blue-collar jobs and barely making ends meet.

They didn’t have time or money to buy and cook healthy meals filled with fruits, vegetables, and nutrients for growing children’s bodies. My house was instant pasta, hamburger helper, shake and bake chicken, or delivery pizza. And always 2-liter bottles of soda.

Of course, we were told about the four major food groups and everyone was encouraged to eat well-balanced meals, but the cafeteria only served hamburgers, pizza, large plates of fries covered in gravy, and a range of snacks like chips, ice cream, and chocolate. There might have been a salad side dish somewhere but was usually hidden behind the giant rack of Doritos flavors.

Even to this day, I still don’t understand why there is so much focus on belittling and knocking down the fat kid or obese man in the neighborhood while there are all-you-can-drink soft drinks and buffet restaurants around every corner.

“If being fat is such a bad thing, why is it so easy to do? “

Drugs like cocaine or meth are illegal so they are hard to get (depending on where you live and who you know). Alcohol and tobacco are also strongly enforced and have strict i.d. laws. But cupcakes are sold in baker’s dozens at Walmart for less than an organic muffin from Whole Foods. The discrepancy is baffling.

I knew what I was doing was wrong.

I knew having Lucky Charms for breakfast, a chili dog with large fries and an ice cream bar for lunch, and lasagna, garlic toast, and a bowl of ice cream topped with a glazed donut (or two) was detrimental to my health. But it tasted so good, was cheap and my parents bought it in bulk.

“Why bite the hand that feeds you? Literally.”

And even after knowing most of the terrible outcomes obesity would surely bring to my door, I ate. My parents looked at me stuffing myself full of swiss rolls and twinkies and laughed. “You look like a big round pot,” is what they said. Then they asked if I wanted seconds.

And now that I am older and am able to understand the consequences of my past actions, I still find it hard to put down that fourth taco.

Consequences of Obesity

And along with the causes of obesity, the CDC also shares the consequences that may arise in both children and adults as they slowly eat their selves to death.

• High blood pressure and high cholesterol, which are risk factors for cardiovascular disease.
• Increased risk of impaired glucose tolerance, insulin resistance, and type 2 diabetes.
• Breathing problems, such as asthma and sleep apnea.
• Joint problems and musculoskeletal discomfort.
• Fatty liver disease, gallstones, and gastro-esophageal reflux (i.e., heartburn).
• Psychological problems such as anxiety and depression.

• Low self-esteem and lower self-reported quality of life.
• Social problems such as bullying and stigma.

Once again, it’s shocking how much the CDC knows about my life. Almost everything on that list is spot on with what I am going through now.

I take medication for high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes. I suffer from joint and back problems, every doctor's appointment I am told of my fatty liver and high triglycerides. And not only do I suffer from bouts of anxiety and depression, but my entire life has been one low self-esteem failure after another.

The bullying which was mostly about my fat and height (being short and fat is an automatic ticket to bullying) lessened as I grew older, but it overtook every aspect of my life from school, work, family, and relationships.

One thing I must note though is I was never morbidly obese. I didn’t stand out like those really obese people who have to use canes or ride on carts when shopping. I can fit in a plane or rollercoaster seat and there is always my size at the clothing shops for “regular” people.

But I am in that weird middle state like many, where you are not thin and healthy, nor are you so big that people avoid looking at you and will never say what they think to your face. I was at that comfortable size of fat, that people can laugh at you, tell you to go on a diet, and stop eating so many cookies.

Does Fat Shaming Work

I don’t know the answer and maybe it depends on different people, but I think the answer is no. And there are many studies to back that up.

According to the Department of Epidemiology and Public Health in London, “rather than encouraging people to lose weight, weight discrimination promotes weight gain and the onset of obesity. Implementing effective interventions to combat weight stigma and discrimination at the population level could reduce the burden of obesity.”

That means the more we are fat-shamed, the more likely it is to have the opposite effect. So had I not been fat-shamed, would I have been a healthy weight?

I don’t think so. I think despite the fat-shaming I received, I would have eaten the way I did and continued on the path I am on now because of two things. Lack of positive enforcement and availability of harmful fat-inducing things around me.

Had there been some positive enforcement around me like my parents, relatives, friends, teachers, etc., maybe I would have had a better understanding of how to eat better, be more active and still enjoy life. I learned everything on my own from television and the convenience around me. Receiving a poster of the four major food groups at school is nice and all, but had my school and home been providing me actual food to fit those groups it would have made a big difference.

And most importantly, access to these magical nutritional foods would have been nice. Of course, there were fruits and vegetables in the supermarket but it was way cheaper and easier to buy microwavable, ready-made deep-fried things. Natural and organic foods were and still are much more expensive and sold in smaller quantities than sugary, fatty, oily foods. An organic bag of berries in my supermarket costs $5 but a 36-pack of chewy chocolate chip cookies is only $2.99.

It’s great that in the new generation of hashtagging, me too, BLM, and celebrate my size are popular, but much like fat-shaming, these are just words people throw around. And without actual action, most likely they fall on deaf ears like mine.

Had it been easier to get my hands on a delicious well-balanced meal than a tv dinner, I might have learned to enjoy and crave healthy food instead of fatty, fried, fast food.

I wish I had listened to the fat-shammers when I was younger but rather than leading by example and showing me how eating right and exercising would benefit me in the long run, they simply made it seem as if only weak people were fat.

And therefore since I was fat, I must be weak. And it left me defeated even before my life journey really began.