People who do well in the workplace will have this trait.

There is a saying that "the kind of people who surround you are the kind of people you will become".

For example, when Meng's mother lived next to a cemetery, her son would follow and play funeral games; when she lived next to a marketplace, she learned to haggle with a group of merchants; and finally, when she lived near a school, only then did she follow and learn poetry and manners.

We know from the story of Meng's mother's three migrations how much influence the surroundings have on a person; ultimately, it is the people who make up the environment.

When we go into society, we can't choose our work environment because there are all kinds of people in the workplace, from the warm and generous to the deceitful and those who forget their interests.

But if you pay attention, you will find that people who do well in the workplace are not only good at what they do but they are also surrounded by good people and a group of like-minded colleagues.

I have just come into contact with Jacob's (pseudonym) manager, and I think he is uncontested, usually respectful and respectful in the world, and he has come to the company for five years, and he has been promoted from a salesman to the position of vice president, and there are few people in the company who have been promoted as fast as he has. Not only has he been promoted, but his usual "peers" have also been promoted, just to different positions and ranks.

Jacob is not a lowly person at work, he doesn't climb up to the top and steps on the bottom, and he doesn't do what he is asked to do just to get on with everyone.

When I came to the company, I heard stories about Jacob's past, saying that the new staff was bullied by the old staff and that they would do whatever the old staff asked, such as ordering lunch, picking up deliveries, sending deliveries, and so on. But Jacob is different, he can do it, but he won't do it for anything. The prerequisite for helping is that he will be brought along on projects, or he will ask to be taught something about the business that he doesn't know yet.

At this point, some people were uncomfortable with his style, thinking that young people are too aggressive and easily offended. He was also advised that young people should follow the instructions of older staff. But he didn't and followed his style straight through.

Over the past few years, he has risen through the ranks and has been promoted the fastest. He proved to be right, and the people who used to advise him are now serving him.

In addition to this style of dealing with people, he only makes friends with people who are consistent with his character and conduct or better than himself in the workplace. So as he improves, so do his peers. This is the "peer effect".

When you are with good people, you become good too

The peer effect simply means that if you are with good people, you will also become good. In other words, if you are close to someone, they will be better.

Some people complain that their colleagues are too scheming; some find it difficult to get along with each other; some feel that there is no real friendship among colleagues, etc. This is because they have not found their peer friends.

Yu Guangzhong said, "One does not have to have a wife or a husband in one's life, but one must never be without friends.

In the workplace, it is sometimes difficult to move forward without one's companion or friend, so how do we find a good companion or friend of our own?

In Huang Zhengyu's book Thinking Stories, it is mentioned that there are four important factors for people to be able to be friends.

The first factor is proximity, which means that both parties can come into contact, and when they are close enough to run into each other often, they will naturally become friends.

The second factor is a sense of belonging or comfort. The process of choosing friends is a constant search for a sense of belonging, to, satisfy our need for love, security, and self-worth, and the impact of our choice on ourselves is something we rarely consider so we do not even know we have made a bad friend.

The third factor is chemistry. Sometimes, we just find someone who looks good to us, or who we get on well with, who has a lot of similar experiences, and who we feel comfortable with.

The fourth factor is persistence. This is well understood, even if the personalities and hobbies are different, as long as one party is very persistent in showing affection, over time, a certain amount of affection will develop.

However, good companions do not come to us of their own accord, as Huang Zhengyu also mentions in his book, we have to be passive to get them. So we need to dig to find out what kind of friendship suits us.

The famous ancient Greek thinker Aristotle once divided friendship into three types: practical, pleasurable, and virtuous.

Practical friendships are based on gaining benefits from the relationship. Both parties need benefits and rely on them to maintain the relationship.

Pleasurable friendships are those where the aim is to gain pleasure, but pleasure is only an emotional signal that disappears once it is created. Therefore, if we choose our friends based on the pursuit of pleasure, we can often fall into a strange circle, where the relationship heats up rapidly at first and we want to stick together all day, but as time goes by, the feeling of pleasure slowly decreases or changes, at which point the friendship can easily disintegrate.

A virtuous friendship, on the other hand, is one in which both parties are recognized for their virtues and, by learning from each other, they can remove their flaws.

Confucius once said, "A friend who benefits has three friends and a friend who loses his three friends. A straight friend, a cool friend, and a knowledgeable friend are beneficial. If you are secluded, if you are friendly and soft, if you are sycophantic, you will lose."

So in the workplace, we have to filter out beneficial or virtuous friends, which can be filtered in the following way.

What kind of people do you want around you and what are the good traits that you should learn from?

Perhaps for this question, it is difficult to make a specific list at once, but you can think differently, first write what you do not like what people are like, for example, do not like profit-oriented, two-faced, calculating people; do not like pretentious, self-righteous people; do not like lazy, only the pursuit of comfort ..... After the list is clear, the likes are clear. For example, you feel that the friends you want to make should be people who are friendly with others, good at heart, and can share growth and progress.

And they are honest, hardworking, trustworthy and other such excellent qualities are worthy of you to learn from, or for example of things, and in building this relationship, you can learn from each other, complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, and grow together.

Some people say I want to be friends with good people, but people don't necessarily want to be friends with me. So there's a saying: you have to work hard to become the kind of person you want to be close to first. But you can't rush into it, you can cycle through the following three methods gradually.

One: Show up to them actively

For example, in the workplace, there is always the need to ask others something or others need your help, usually more observation, and more study, in the business does not understand the place more as they ask for advice, and others need help when the initiative to lend a helping hand. Gradually let others know that there is you and know you.

Second, constantly build yourself, become the friend they want

There is a saying: planting the wrong tree will attract phoenixes. So go ahead and improve yourself, and when the time is right, you will have a large number of friends to go with you.

Third, take the initiative to provide value for each other

The interaction between people is a kind of "resource exchange", so you should first consider what kind of "value" you can bring to others. The value here does not refer to traditional contacts, money, business opportunities, and other material and utilitarian things.

My colleague told me about an incident she experienced and said that he was able to jump into our company because his former leader introduced him.

The colleague was in finance, and according to the normal thinking of people in non-management positions it is difficult to have too much contact with the leader, and the colleague's social hierarchy and relations, not to mention the leadership can not provide him with anything of value, but why his leadership is still willing to help him.

After understanding only to know that colleagues previously do financial, and his leadership is particularly concerned about the quarterly data changes in the relevant industry, each quarterly data out, he is always the first time to send a text message number leadership report financial data.

Over time, the leader felt that he was working hard and more serious employees. He is also willing to spend time to understand himself as a person and maintain a good relationship with his subordinates.

From my colleague's experience can be seen that everyone can provide a lot of value to others, to provide something is not as difficult as we think, the simplest and most valuable is information, and in the network, the era is also easy for us to access.

So sometimes when not knowing what you can offer to others, you can think carefully about what others need and then be bold enough to try to share your ideas, time, the information you have gathered, etc.

You can also learn on your own, for example by going to school, enrolling in tuition classes, and various organizations in society to meet all sorts of people and thus expand your network.

That's why people who do well in the workplace make friends. As Carnegie said, people who have good friends all around them are much happier than people who are in trouble on all sides.