Mountain Dew VooDew Review
There are two conspiracy theories I hold to be true
There are two conspiracy theories I hold to be true: the first one is that Jimi Hendrix was murdered. The second is that there are few “new” Mountain Dew flavors. While I personally have no evidence of either, I’m strong in my convictions. I first started believing the Mountain Dew theory when they came out with their line of Kickstart beverages—a more caffeinated diversion from their staple flavors. While they were indeed heavier on the caffeine content and rivaled other energy drink brands in their own way, there was truly nothing remarkably different about them. In a blind taste test, I could possibly pinpoint Code Red and Baja Blast, but otherwise, could I identify the other flavors? Not really. They are unmistakably Mountain Dew, that much is clear. But with the overwhelming citrus blend base used for every single flavor, we have to wonder what the difference truly is. This isn’t a call to action against Mountain Dew, I have nothing to gain from that. I’m just making an observation. When I brought this theory up to a friend, he likened it to the Taco Bell method of rolling out new items. He explained that while, yes, technically they do have “new” menu items that are given a wow factor of being available for a limited time, few items are truly new. They tend to have the same elements to them (meat, beans, cheese, potatoes) in various combinations. In a way, it’s comforting, because I feel confident that any time I go to Taco Bell for something new, I will end up liking it. I enjoy meat, cheese, beans and potatoes all in their various forms of glory, so why WOULDN’T I like this?
I heard about VooDew being released on the 24th and specifically set out to find it. It didn’t take long, and soon I was in the checkout line with other people around me shouting their own opinions to me while I excitedly chatted with the cashier. I’m not kidding, it was a truly pure experience. We discussed Pitch Black (the Halloween exclusive that was released in 2013) and the Kickstart line. I didn’t bring up my conspiracy theory to them because I wasn’t trying to kill the mood.
What makes my conspiracy theory even funnier to me is that VooDew is marketed as a “mystery flavor.” Is there a lazier way to market a beverage? It’s like “No, YOU tell US what it tastes like.” Damn dude, you have like two jobs, which are 1) Making the drink and 2) Telling me what it is. Why can’t you deliver on the second? Oh yeah, marketing. They wanted to hype me up. And it worked!! I’m not immune to advertising tactics. I needed to know the deal!! While I appreciate the Halloween theme with the grim reaper, I tried not to let the exciting can get my hopes up too high. I’ve been here many times before with the Dew. My verdict? It’s fucking Mountain Dew. Is it new? I think so! It does taste a bit like cotton candy. It makes me think of this local carnival my family and I used to attend in a church parking lot over a decade ago. As it got darker, the place seemed less magical and a little more dark-sided. I have nothing against churches or the dark, I’m just painting a picture here. It’s like a light cotton candy, with of course, a citrus base. Cotton candy flavor is so distinct, because it’s one of the few flavors that is shockingly sweet. Cotton candy is just like... sugar. It’s glorified sugar. I can recognize that while I’m drinking it. But is this what “mystery flavor” entails? Shouldn’t I have to think about it longer than this? Shouldn’t sip after sip be a wild ride where I just can’t pinpoint what exactly is going on? Does the word mystery mean anything anymore? I’m not angry, and I’m not disappointed. I had the experience I expected to have. As far as flavor goes, yeah it tastes good. OK!! Would I tell anyone that they should go out and search high and low to try this? No. By the same token, I wouldn’t discourage anyone from getting it. Also, if my theory is correct, and Mountain Dew just repackages the same flavors again and again, don’t feel panicked if you don’t see it near you. Though the packaging says “limited edition,” it will probably be back in one form or another.
I’m scoring this a 7/10. It’s tastes good, it’s Mountain Dew, it’s slightly different, but it’s not a mystery.