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I Slapped My Mama

It wasn't entirely my fault.

By Lamar WigginsPublished 3 years ago • Updated 3 years ago • 5 min read
I Slapped My Mama
Photo by Morgane Perraud on Unsplash

Written for the Nourished Challenge.

Another migraine... There are many causes for these debilitating afflictions. Once it grabs hold of you, there is no mercy until it decides you've suffered enough and mysteriously goes away. In my case, I owe recovery to metabolism: Ridding the body of chemicals that are no longer useful or were never useful. Synthetic compounds we have little knowledge of that were never meant for our particular physiology. We learn through trial and error.

I used to wonder why some people were not fond of chocolate or even strawberries. These two flavors, alone or combined are heavenly to the majority us flavor connoisseurs. How can another's taste buds reject such divine flavors? Upon thinking about it in depth, maybe it's because down the road, the chemical makeup of certain foods may initiate the onset of disease if consumed too much. To avoid this possibility, your mind doesn't allow this flavor to be desirable. In fact, you find it repulsive. Whatever the case, you won't eat it, even if it's covered in butter. At the least, that was my take when speculating over personal presences involving highly appreciated flavors.

Allergies are another underlying factor in the creation of the migraine. One day we are fine, the next we are bed-ridden. I believe everyone is allergic to something. Whether we ever encounter it is another question. Whether its minor or severe may be determined on the quantity needed for the reaction. This is where the real story begins... I'm allergic to caffein. It gives me migraines. This hasn't been forever. Fairly recent. It may have only started ten years ago.

After drinking a satisfying cup of Joe, you enjoy the effects. It helps you get the day started. I was never more than a cup, maybe a cup and a half a day drinker. I always drank it black. No time or need for cream and or sugar. I learned to love the dark, bitter flavor of freshly brewed coffee. The darker the roast, the better.

I was devastated to learn that caffein was the cause of my migraines. I didn't need a doctor to make this diagnosis but did need one to confirm it. Ten minutes after drinking a fine cup one day, the headache began. It was then that I put the puzzle together. The majority of the time the headache was delayed; not always happening until hours after I had a cup. It was the coffee!!! I decided to not drink it for three days and was relieved that the migraine did not occur. On the fourth day, I had a half a cup. Two hours later the migraine began. My brain could no longer handle processing caffeinated products.

As we know, chocolate has caffein in it, not a lot but it's there. I LOVE chocolate. I love it most in the form of chip cookies and baked them every week for years. Two, maybe three cookies were my preferred breakfast over bacon and eggs. Sadly, the same effect started to happen. I quickly knew it was the chocolate because it was the only thing I consumed that had caffein in it. This was worse than giving up the coffee. The mental withdrawal from all forms of chocolate was beyond devasting, it was cataclysmic.

I still eat chocolate but very very very sparingly. Once every two weeks or less, but never anything with dark chocolate as this form will still induce the makings of a migraine no matter the quantity.

I had to find an alternative. This is when my mother suggested I try a recipe for butter pecan cookies. I wasn't happy with the suggestion and sat on it for weeks. I love pecans in desserts but not as much as chocolate. Pecan Pie is divine, but I could never eat it every day.

The first time I tried the recipe, I didn't have high hopes. The results though, changed my mind forever. These cookies are a glimpse of what heaven must be like. Better than butter pecan ice-cream, better than pecan pie. I was excited. I made them again and had the same positive outlook that I have found my new breakfast of choice. After making several batches, I tweaked the recipe to my liking. The following is that recipe.

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Ingredients: To be separated into two bowls

Bowl #1

2 large eggs

2 sticks of salted butter (softened)

2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

1 cup of firmly packed, light brown sugar (original recipe calls for regular brown sugar, but trust me, light brown is better)

1/2 cup of white sugar

Bowl#2

2 cups of regular white flour. (I tried wheat flour once and they taste different, not the ideal choice.)

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1/2 teaspoon of baking soda

1 teaspoon of baking powder

* You will also need 1 and 1/2 cups of pecans, to be mixed in last. *

Preparation

Stir the first bowl until mixed well, do not use electric mixer (time to use the muscles) and set aside. Stir the second bowl for 15 seconds with a large serving spoon with holes in it. Mix one half cup of the powder mixture at a time into the wet mixture and mix well. The mixture will gradually become thick. After the last of the dry is mixed with the wet grab the sacred pecans. Be careful with them, they are very valuable, like edible gold. Thoroughly mix them in. And now for the part that makes me crazy - Put plastic wrap over that second bowl and put into refrigerator for one hour or longer. This will help the butter to resolidify. It will help to prevent the cookie from becoming flatter than intended. After they have chilled enough, preheat oven to 340 degrees. Depending on the size cookie you like depends on the total yield. I like these cookies better soft, so I recommend 12 minutes in the oven. But, if they haven't risen to their capacity at that point, leave them in for another minute. Let them cool completely then enjoy. You can also tweak the recipe by adding a touch more or less flour. More flour and they come out more cake-like. Less flour, they come out chewier, which is the way I like them. If you do decide to alter it, delete or add one tablespoon at a time until you get the consistency that works for you.

This is a simple recipe for life. I will continue to make them until I can no longer bear the weight of transporting the ingredients to the bowl. It brings happiness to all who have tried them, including lots of friends and other family members. I have already had a few recipe requests from people who have had the chance to experience this taste of heaven. My mother has since passed, God bless her soul. I never actually slapped her, it's just a cultural expression for something that is so amazing that praise is in store for the person who introduced you to whatever it is. She would have slapped me back...

I highly recommend you try them. They are a great alternative to the heavenly flavor of chocolate...not really but the next best thing.

I no longer have migraines and read all labels that may contain it before any purchase. Did you know that Excedrin, a popular pain med contains it? Yes, it does. Not sure why but glad I read the label. Guess what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow? You already know...

Photo by Sara Cervera on Unsplash

Thank you for stopping by!

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About the Creator

Lamar Wiggins

Creative writer in the Northeast U.S. having fun with words...

Here, you will find plenty of odd storylines, embracing the paranormal, mystery, true crime, horror, humor, fantasy and poetry.

"Life is Love Experienced" -LW

LDubs

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    Written by Lamar Wiggins